The ultimate poser sport?

[Moses]

I just gotta say this Northern California bicycle thing is making me NUTS! I don't mind a group of Lance Armstrong wannabes decorating our roadways, but it has become ridiculous. One of their favorite roads is Danville Blvd., a 2-lane road with well marked wide bike lanes going both ways. You would think that would be adequate, but NO! They have to congeal together in some great wiggly pack like a herd of sperm covering the entire roadway. A motorist has a choice of hitting the brakes or swerving into oncoming traffic to avoid the huge technicolor ejaculate oozing out of the bike lane. What's up with that?

And another thing; Why do they all stuff their asses into those stupid outfits? They look like Spandex sausages. And of course the little Spandex leotards are decorated with the names of all their sponsors! Sponsors? Give me a break! If I drove my 911 around the city wearing a racing suit emblazoned with exotic advertizing folks would rightfully think I was a few bricks short of a load. These leg-shaving, spandex wearing road hazards are really starting to piss me off.

If the good folks of this State have given you a bike lane, stay the hell in it!

[CamB]

huge technicolor ejaculate oozing out of the bike lane

Hahaha nice verbiage.

I can answer the "why lycra". Having just bought a bike (actually a hardtail mountain bike which I have chucked slicks on for city riding in the interim) and having discovered the pains of the seat, I can assure you that reasons 1 & 2 below are enough to make a man wear lycra:

1) there is padding (the seats don't have much)
2) that padding is chamois, which wicks moisture away from the, err, privates etc, and prevents "saddle sores"
3) lycra apparently holds the lg muscles better together, (so I'm told)

I bought lycra "underwear" with the padding. It goes under my shorts so I can preserve some dignity. I get the feeling I will change to full lycra once the shred of remaining dignity is gone.

I don't understand the sponsorship thing either.

[turbo6bar]

Yeah, the sponsors on the jerseys is silly. I don't wear anything with names blazing, but I do wear lycra shorts, tights, and tight fitting jerseys. CamB is right about shorts. Try riding a bike for 1-5 hours, and you'll realize the value of a good pair of shorts. Few Americans have the body fat % to pull off wearing tight clothing, so why not flaunt it if you can.

I don't shave my legs, but there's also good reason. Road rash is a b~tch to maintain when your legs are hair covered.

As far as the beached sperm whales on your roads, I have no comment. I ride solo. This area has few bike lanes, and cycling is one of the rarest sports here. I guess few have figured out how to mount a gun rack to a bike.

Like every aspect of life, there are good and bad. There are good and bad cyclists, and there are good and bad motorists (like the one who nearly ran my arse over in October). And trying on the other shoe, some might wonder why anyone would be so vain to drive a targa.

jurgen

[nostatic]

the CA vehicle code says that bikes are entitled to a lane...they have to obey the laws of the road, and also get the benefits.

I won't justify the road hogs though. As someone who commuted to work by bike for the better part of 7 years, I always tried to stay far right, and didn't ride two abreast. But for training rides with a large group, we would sometimes go two abreast, and in a multi lane road, take the far right lane. That is legal.

As for the sponsor jerseys, when I raced with the LA Sherrifs team (road) and PMBC (mtn), we wore team jerseys that had sponsor logos. If I was just on a regular ride, I would try and wear a plain but brightly colored jersey.

One argument for not staying all the way to the right is that you are less visible to motorists, and likely to get someone turning right into you. Also, if there are cars parked on the right, you need to leave enough space so that if someone in a parked car decides to throw their door open without looking first, you don't t-bone it.

There are plenty of poseur jerks on two wheels, but those of us who aren't jerks are vastly out numbered and outweighed by 4-wheel vehicles.

[Adam]

I once tooted a spandex-wearing, wobbly cyclist who nearly became a hood ornament because he was swerving around all over the place (bike lane and darting into my lane). He became instantly enraged and was screaming obscenities at me and highlighted it with a pompous: "I am allowed to use the road, too!"

"I am allowed..."? Give me a break. Sounded like a 6-year old.

When I pointed out that he doesn't pay registration or any form of road tax he got vicious and swung a spandex-covered foot at my car. I explained how that was not a real good idea... Road cyclists in Australia have a terrible reputation as a result of ass-clowns like that guy. They're hated by the general motoring public!

[turbo6bar]

I once tooted a suit-wearing, Tiptronic-equipped Porsche driver who nearly ran over some schoolchildren as he was swerving around all over the place (4 lanes on the interstate including my lane). He became instantly enraged and was screaming obscenities at me and highlighted it with a pompous: "I am allowed to use the road, too!"

"I am allowed..."? Give me a break. Sounded like a 6-year old.

When I pointed out that he doesn't pay PCA fees or any form of gas guzzler car tax he got vicious and swung a Gucci-covered foot at my car. I explained how that was not a real good idea... Yuppie Porsche owners in Australia have a terrible reputation as a result of ass-clowns like that guy. They're hated by the general motoring public!


Would you label all Porsches drivers as arse-clowns? The amazing zanick is a retailer targeting Porsche owners. Therefore, all retailers selling to Porsche owners are terrible.

Stop spreading venom, please.

jurgen

[BlueSkyJaunte]

What's with this pastiche trend on the OT forum?

[Adam]

Originally posted by turbo6bar:
Blather clipped>

Stop spreading venom, please.

So now I'm a yuppie?

Do yourself a favour before you make yourself look even more stupid and Re-READ my post!

Why are the "hobby/poseur" cyclists the most aggressive on the road? (and off it seems) I don't get postmen riding all over the road and trying to kick my 911. I wonder why?

I don't care if someone is a spandex-wearing, cyclist or a leather-clad biker on a Harley. If somebody wants to try to damage my car in front of me then they'd better bring their own friggin' army.

I rode mountain bikes for about 15 years and I only gave it up recently when I hurt my back. I wore regular clothes (not the spandex), I obeyed the law and was courteous and considerate of other road users. To be totally honest, I was also worried about being flattened, which a lot of cyclists don't seem to be.

I think some of these guys have such a complex about what they're wearing, how they look and that they're about to be tooted, that they are primed and ready to explode on the first person that gets near them (see above). I've seen some cyclists damage cars and even kick door mirrors clean off cars. Seems that once they're on a bike, they're a different person. Or maybe not.

I'd love to see them try it on foot or face-to-face.

Jurgen, I was discussing fact not some fantasy that springs to mind when you feel your hobby is "under attack". Re-read my original post and ask yourself why you felt you needed to attack me. I said "Road cyclists have a terrible reputation - as a result of ass-clowns like that guy". I never said that all cyclists were ass-clowns.

[nostatic]

well, I'm down with the all p-car owners being arse-clowns theory, so where does that leave this debate?

I believe Mr. Kurtz said it best:

"exterminate the brutes"

Now, if we can olly decide *which* brutes he was talking about...

[Victor]

Adam, It's simple:

When you are in your Porsche treat them as mobile chicanes and braking markers depending on whether they are moving or not.

When you are on foot, nothing brightens up your day like jamming an umbrella in the front spokes. And with our Melbourne weather, you really should not leave home without one!

Bike couriers in the city are my personal favourites at the moment.

[Adam]

Victor, that's hillarious!

Didn't Denis Leary have some famous and controversial comments about cyclists riding around NYC on his "Lock & Load" CD?

[cowtown]

LOL Moses. I live in the bicycle capital of the USA, Davis CA. I can relate. Loved the sperm imagery.

Spandex clad, two abreast and self righteous as hell. Not all of them, just most of them.

[turbo6bar]

Originally posted by Adam Chaplin
So now I'm a yuppie?

One renegade cyclist does not make the entire marque, as one random yuppie Porsche owner does not represent all Porsche owners. I don't understand how you thought I was labeling you a yuppie. I was being sarcastic.

This is an instance when the few bad experiences overwhelm the good. How many courteous cyclists do you recall, and how many dumb cyclists do you remember? Thought so.

When you have pissed off motorists in 3000 lbs cars vs. 200 lbs of rider and bike, the biker has a lot more to lose. Leave the ego at home, and don't worry about the guys who ride using the wrong head.

I've read a majority of road bikers are middle-aged, white collar, upper middle class citizens, which might give insight about who they are and how they ride. I really doubt the bike and 2 dozen square inches of lycra turns a normal human being into a real bum. True colors will show regardless of clothing.

I'm not justifying bad behavior. Please have patience with these guys and gals on the road. Extend courtesy and such will be returned. Expressed anger and impatience will not change a renegade, eh?

[Adam]

Leave the ego at home...

Sound advice for us all.

Extend courtesy and such will be returned...

When?? I always try to give cyclists a very wide berth, due to their often erratic and unpredictable nature. But by the time I've managed to get around them, I'm miles away and it's not like I'll be seeing the same guy further up the road, waving me past. I'm sorry, but it's just all a one-way street with that mentality (pun intended).

I'm trying not to generalize, but it's rare to see a cyclist keeping to the shoulder, riding in a straight line so that the obstruction to traffic flow is minimized. Maybe it's a lack of proper road safety training or maybe it's a problem unique to my country. I doubt it. Either way, I don't see that a pat on the back is required just for doing what you're supposed to do. So why get all bent out of shape when you're bipped for doing the wrong thing?

Surely you'd be pissed if someone in a Camry was weaving around 20mph slower than the traffic flow in front of you. How different is it if we're talking about a pushbike?

The part that peeves me is that you'll be kept slow by a cyclist that isn't fully in control and is weaving around at 15mph during rush hour. After you finally get to the traffic lights, rather than stop - obeying the road rules like cyclists should, he skips up onto the footpath and breezes through the lights. Either you're a road user or you're not.

I was once hit by a car on my mountain bike, which wasn't my fault, but I don't have the attitude towards "cars" that so many road cyclists do today. I just don't understand it.

I think we'll agree to disagree here, Jurgen. There's nothing wrong with that, but you've gotta see it from the other side. I know some cyclists are a menace and ruin their reputation for the greater group, but I'm sure some are safe, polite and courteous, I'm just yet to meet any.

[turbo6bar]

American cyclists must be different from Aussie cyclists. If an American was weaving in the road, he'd just get run down. I know I would. If you are complaining about not being able to pass a cyclist because he's too slow and there's not enough room to safely pass, well be to blunt, tough.

I find it hard to believe you have NEVER met a polite bicyclist. A polite cyclist is transparent.

Road cyclists, by default, must be very defensive, because the risks are huge. Sometimes, being defensive means taking an offensive stance. If there's not enough room for a car to pass, I'll move 30cm into the roadway to prevent a driver from passing. Via the laws in my state, I am entitled to do so, but I realize it may peeve drivers. I have to do what is necessary to preserve my safety. Inherently, riding will impede traffic, and that is where I feel many drivers become very irate. There are even instances in which I ride in the middle of the lane. Legally, I'm entitled to do so, even though it inconveniences some. I do so for my safety, and when all is clear, I try to move over. Legally, the cyclist has a lot of leeway, but in order to coexist, we have be proactive.

IF I'm riding against the law, then all bets are off. However, I am sure that many riders, and MOST drivers don't even know the laws.

99.9% of the minutes I ride, such confrontation rarely applies. Never had a motorist show a lot of discomfort towards me, maybe a little impatience, but everyone has a bad day. Adam, you made some unfounded generalizations(cyclist fears of accidents, cyclist's complex, cyclist's right to the road), and that's why I took offense. If you're going to cast a stone, even justifiably so, leave out the bias & speculation and just stick to the facts.

peace out,
jurgen

[Moses]

Originally posted by turbo6bar
American cyclists must be different from Aussie cyclists. If an American was weaving in the road, he'd just get run down. I know I would. If you are complaining about not being able to pass a cyclist because he's too slow and there's not enough room to safely pass, well be to blunt, tough.

I find it hard to believe you have NEVER met a polite bicyclist. A polite cyclist is transparent.

Road cyclists, by default, must be very defensive, because the risks are huge. Sometimes, being defensive means taking an offensive stance. If there's not enough room for a car to pass, I'll move 30cm into the roadway to prevent a driver from passing. Via the laws in my state, I am entitled to do so, but I realize it may peeve drivers. I have to do what is necessary to preserve my safety. Inherently, riding will impede traffic, and that is where I feel many drivers become very irate. There are even instances in which I ride in the middle of the lane. Legally, I'm entitled to do so, even though it inconveniences some. I do so for my safety, and when all is clear, I try to move over. Legally, the cyclist has a lot of leeway, but in order to coexist, we have be proactive.

IF I'm riding against the law, then all bets are off. However, I am sure that many riders, and MOST drivers don't even know the laws.

99.9% of the minutes I ride, such confrontation rarely applies. Never had a motorist show a lot of discomfort towards me, maybe a little impatience, but everyone has a bad day. Adam, you made some unfounded generalizations(cyclist fears of accidents, cyclist's complex, cyclist's right to the road), and that's why I took offense. If you're going to cast a stone, even justifiably so, leave out the bias & speculation and just stick to the facts.

peace out,
jurgen

Jurgen, the road I wrote about would allow bicyclists to ride 2 or 3 abreast while still staying in the DESIGNATED bike lane. Instead, groups of 10-20 bikes take the entire roadway for MILES. I doubt they are concerned with their safety. It's more of an in-your-face "critical mass" statement. Screw 'em.

[Matt Holcomb]

I must confess; I start to turn involuntarily toward cyclists whenever I see them trundling clumsily along in their six-inch-wide lane of cobblestones. I don't know why I do this. Perhaps it's because I automatically equate their obstructive road presence to churlishness.

Or maybe it's because I wish I had the time -- and the courage -- to pedal to my many and varied destinations. It's great cardio, and when a truck blows by, it's like being in a fast-moving convertible. Sort of.


Matt Holcomb
MFIWDP
1974 911 Carrera 2.7 (RoW)
Dedicated Homepage
Engine Rebuild Homepage
Pelican Gallery Profile

[island911]

Moses, LOL! . . Same problem on the island, where I live. These jokers come here in packs to impede the little traffic that is here.

One thing I learned about the wanna-be cyclist, which I discovered back when commuting on bike myself, is that they really will hold there ground in the presence of a following Mercedes, etal (implied: "squish me and I'll sue you--you pig"); BUT, when confronted by another (faster) cyclist, who is about to muscle past, they always pull to the right with the simple words of "on your left".

I find it stupifying that they hog the road when cars need to pass, but pull right over for the (narrow) fellow cyclist. . ..I guess they think they'll get a gimps of Lance Armstrong, if they yield.

Oh, my wife bought me a bike-bell for the car -- it helps with the "on your left" authenticity. . . it also helps if the words are hurried -- like you're breathing hard.

[Adam]

... not being able to pass a cyclist because he's too slow and there's not enough room to safely pass, well be to blunt, tough

That's the attitude I was talking about.

If there's not enough room for a car to pass, I'll move 30cm into the roadway to prevent a driver from passing... Legally, I'm entitled to do so, even though it inconveniences some.

Where's all that consideration and courtesy you were talking about a moment ago?

Adam, you made some unfounded generalizations(cyclist fears of accidents, cyclist's complex, cyclist's right to the road), and that's why I took offense

Looks like at least one of them isn't "unfounded"... Except for the complex bit, you just validated my comments in a single post. I guess one out of three ain't bad.

[dd74]

Many of the roads we'll be using on our Dec. 13th Mulholland run are used by cyclists. On these small secondary roads, it takes quite a feat to avoid clipping a peloton of cyclists. And yet, there really isn't something quite like a group of cyclists going at speed around corners and downhill. I'd gladly slow down for them, unless I'm chasing Jack Olsen or Tyson.

As a cyclist of road bikes with very thin padding in the saddle, spandex is a must. Either that, or you won't have much "fun" to bring home to your wife and/or girlfriend after a couple hours on the cranks.

The only time I wished I wasn't wearing spandex was during a ride in Atherton, Ca., which is in Northern California. On a dark two-lane road, a car slowed up behind me and a coy voice (read male and gay) inquired if I needed a ride to San Francisco.

Hmmm...I wonder: do I look like I'm going to San Francisco each time I get on my bike with spandex? I dunno?