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widebody911 12-05-2004 07:52 PM

More Red vs Blue
 
With the Blue States in hand, the Democrats have firm control of:
  • 80% of the world's fresh water;
  • over 90% of our pineapple and lettuce;
  • 93% of the artichoke production;
  • 95% of America's export quality wines
  • 90% of all cheese production;
  • most of the US low-sulfur coal;
  • all living redwoods,sequoias and condors;
  • the gorgeous Oregon beaches and forests;
  • all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, CalTech and MIT.
We can live simply but well.

On the other hand, the Republicans, having the Red States, now have to cope with:
  • 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care cost spike);
  • 92% of all US mosquitoes;
  • the entire US population of crocodiles and alligators;
  • 90% of the US poisonous snakes;
  • 99% of all Southern Baptists;
  • 100% of all Televangelists and Rush Limbaugh;
  • Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
A high price to pay for controlling the presidency!

bluebullet 12-05-2004 10:06 PM

does that mean we are all gonna get fat?

fintstone 12-05-2004 10:18 PM

Sounds like a good deal to me. The silly cheese eaters in the blue states can continue to pat themselves on the back for running the really important things like the condor protection and cheese industry while the responsible folks in the red states will continue to make the tough decisions and run the country.

widebody911 12-06-2004 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by fintstone
[Bwhile the responsible folks in the red states will continue to make the tough decisions and run the country. [/B]
I can't imagine the tremendous pressure you must be under! "Moon pie or Hostess?" "NASCAR or WWF?" "Budweiser or Pabst?"

Jeff Higgins 12-06-2004 05:26 AM

Re: More Red vs Blue
 
Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
With the Blue States in hand, the Democrats have firm control of:
  • 80% of the world's fresh water;
  • over 90% of our pineapple and lettuce;
  • 93% of the artichoke production;
  • 95% of America's export quality wines
  • 90% of all cheese production;
  • most of the US low-sulfur coal;
  • all living redwoods,sequoias and condors;
  • the gorgeous Oregon beaches and forests;
  • all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, CalTech and MIT.
We can live simply but well.

You forgot to mention you also enjoy (disclaimer: the following are all my SWAGs; some one that actually knows what they are talking about can fill in the real numbers):
90% of the nations heroin addicts.
90% of the nation's AIDs sufferers.
90% of the nation's murders.
90% of the nation's divorces.
90% of the nation's high school dropouts.
90% of the nation's pregnant teens (o.k., so only if you don't include the ones by their brothers and cousins).
90% of the nation's Hillarys.
Further disclaimer: The above numbers have a projected accuracy rate of at least that provided in the post that started all this.

gaijinda 12-06-2004 06:16 AM

"the gorgeous Oregon beaches and forests"

As Californians have Oregon in their sights, I can see a backlash coming. They will be welcome into the red state fold..

bryanthompson 12-06-2004 06:32 AM

Pretty sure republicans also control
99% of the nations corn, sunflowers, soybeans, etc.
100% of the nation's beef supply
100% of all your base

You also control
100% of the Idiotarians
100% of the envvironmentalist idiots
100% of the highschool dropouts
100% of the welfare hobbyists
99% of the total crime rate
One howard dean
99% of the college professors (see idiotarians)
100% of the burnt-out hippies

Quote:

disclaimer: The above numbers have a projected accuracy rate of at least that provided in the post that started all this.
-- ditto

Mule 12-06-2004 06:36 AM

In the red states we have more of the following resources than the idiots in the blue states; beef, chicken, catfish, grouper, red snapper, swordfish, bass, trout, crawfish, oysters, Cajun food, corn, potatoes, okra, beans, most other vegetables, oranges, peaches, peanuts, beer breweries, whiskey distilleries, American Eagles, beaches, warm weather, good looking women, golf courses, guns, forests, farmland, and wide open spaces. We have plenty of water, all of the SEC and BIG 12, most of the ACC.

The blue states have most of the murders, drug addicts, pollution, crime, slums, welfare recipients, elite snobs, cold weather, federal politicians, long haired maggot infested pieces of human debris, nutcase liberals, people with green and orange hair, and ********* to elbow congestion. You can keep your Ivy League schools, giant redwoods, and condors and stick the artichokes up your a$$. Most northeners who move south never go back Most southerners don't go north..

Another opinion

So the truth finaly emerges. You deep seated belief in your superiority to people who think differently than you has finally been unmasked. As for those ivy league schools, if the result of those educations are people who elect Schumer, Hillary, Kerry & murdering Teddy, then they are failures. As for the rest of that crap, you didn't mention a thing that we need. As for the produce in Kayfornyaa, once we dam the Colorado their main crop will be cactus, followed by dust. Then you can shred those redwoods & sequois for salad. As for living well without the RED states, ALL of your natural gas comes from the gulf coast. Ditto for virtually all the oil. You'll have to get out the knee pads & get used to kissing some a$$ for either. Ours if you're lucky, the muslims if your not. We smell much better!. You can also get used to living without bread, pork, corn & virtually anything else that grows, either animal or vegetable. As for us, yeah we have some *********s like Fallwell, but ya'll do too. The difference is we don't let them run the government, ya'll do. So when winter comes and you arrogant left wing snobs are hungry & shiverring in the dark, you can chew on this, American by birth, Southern by the grace of God!

Moneyguy1 12-06-2004 06:55 AM

Interesting thread. On a micro scale, it shows the depth of the idealogical rift in this country.

Good going, guys. Let's dig it even deeper and we can all fall in.

Silly.

kach22i 12-06-2004 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bryanthompson
One howard dean
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BABY!

Deal with it.:D

mikester 12-06-2004 09:15 AM

CA has a new measure at least in draft form that would split their electoral votes down the percentage line (like CO's this year).

I doubt it will get much traction to pass.

tabs 12-06-2004 12:47 PM

One thing you boyz forgot to mention..the Red States control Congress....and if Bushy has his way...he gona put the squeeze on those Limosene Liberals by eliminating from the Federal Tax code the deduction for State Income Taxes...now I call that a yeah Baby....lets see some of those richie Libs start to pay for their favorite social programs with their own money and we will now see just how long those social programs last....payback is a bit(h

widebody911 12-06-2004 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tabs
One thing you boyz forgot to mention..the Red States control Congress....and if Bushy has his way...he gona put the squeeze on those Limosene Liberals by eliminating from the Federal Tax code the deduction for State Income Taxes...now I call that a yeah Baby....lets see some of those richie Libs start to pay for their favorite social programs with their own money and we will now see just how long those social programs last....payback is a bit(h
Might wanna check out http://www.topalli.com/blue/tax.html - seems the red states get more handouts than the blue states.

CamB 12-06-2004 01:29 PM

100% of all your base

LOL.

The rest of this thread is crap.

Mule - more "good looking women" in red states - who are you trying to kid?

fintstone 12-06-2004 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
Might wanna check out http://www.topalli.com/blue/tax.html - seems the red states get more handouts than the blue states.
That site is just like the rest of the blue argunment...stupid. Just because the Govt spends more in one state than another doesn't mean it is "welfare." Perhaps that is just the best or only place certain things can be done. We could always move the hundreds of ICBMs under the sod in the Dakotas to CA or NY if you like....duh

Firm control of artichoke production really proves the "blue" states are somehow better than a state that raises wheat or corn. LOL! Just making the argument proves that the folks in the blue states are somehow reality deficient. You lost 4 years ago and you lost again this year.....

fintstone 12-06-2004 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
I can't imagine the tremendous pressure you must be under! "Moon pie or Hostess?" "NASCAR or WWF?" "Budweiser or Pabst?"
All you can think about is entertaining yourself.

Let me explain....slowly. Obviously, representatives from the red states are the majority in the house and senate...and are increasing their majority. The President, his cabinet...and soon a majority of supreme court judges will be conservative....get over it.


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