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-   -   Center for Disease Control Warning (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/201944-center-disease-control-warning.html)

kach22i 01-17-2005 08:46 AM

Center for Disease Control Warning
 
Center for Disease Control Warning The Center for Disease control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea lecthim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past 4 years, and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonnorrhea lecthim include: Antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idea fixation, xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing thinking.

This epidemic is out of control. MMWR (Morbidity & Mortality Weekly Report) reports it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans. New CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God’s will.

Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief, but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward. Godlessness has it’s rewards.

BTW - NOTE this is a joke, not real, not a hoax, a joke, if you don’t find humor in it – well you must be one of those infected individuals!

If there are words above that are new to you…here are some dictionary helps:


Messianic – adj.

[I]Of or relating to a messiah[I] (this is the scary part)

Perseveration

- Psychology.

Uncontrollable repetition of a particular response, such as a word, phrase, or gesture, despite the absence or cessation of a stimulus, usually caused by brain injury or other organic disorder. (hmmm…me thinks there is a person in the white house afflicted with this disorder).

M.D. Holloway 01-17-2005 09:25 AM

:D LOL - good stuff, but you forgot the other counter-virus that is spreading rapidly and is even more powerful : Gonnafreely Lectum and the double hus hush one that no BHL wants you to find out about: Gonnaelectumprivately Butbashminpublic.

ronin 01-17-2005 10:48 AM

to boot, one malady currently affecting BHLs that you forgot to mention, Mike, is Apertus Rectus Insertus Anus. pandemic, I tell you. pandemic :D

M.D. Holloway 01-17-2005 11:47 AM

even heard of the mental disorder that effects many BHL's: "Rediculosum Apparentus" with a side infection of "Cronic *****omoresum compounded with Accute Viginametacarplia" to the rest of it is nonsenseical rantings, non-stop whining and too much pussy-footing!

M.D. Holloway 01-17-2005 11:49 AM

Cronic Beotchomoresum for those of you who were edited for content infringement.


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