Decide the fate of my daughter.

[SLO-BOB]

This is a test...............

[widebody911]

Is retroactive abortion a viable alternative in your state?

[Erakad]

Typical with teenagers, my wife and I empathise. I asked and she agreed with me (without prompting), ground from the most important outing...the one with her buddies. On her day off, she'll want to make up for it, thank her for her hard work, but remain resolute...no outing on saturday. Congratulate her though that she avoided losing her TV and computer and her outing on Sunday. Shell be very thankful. Remind her (this from the wife) you support her desires to go out with her friends, but this comes through fulfilling her responsibilities to the family. And don't worry, you'll be having this exact same conversation again next week! LOL...good luck.

[Reg]

Ask her for twice as much as you want next time.

[Don 944 LA]

for the next week, only allow her 1/2 a plate of food ( make it noticable ).. Chop her phone in half, literally, unuasable, but some is still there etc ...
along those lines ..
maybe she will pay attention next time.
BTW, did not vote

[RoninLB]

15yr old female vs daddy drama..

any resolution data will be used the next time to ensure success at the game of "let me screw daddy's head up".

actually she's only figuring one or two moves in advance. You'll have to figure three.. If they had more brains all parents would be in trouble.. party hearty.

[SLO-BOB]

This is a test...............

[Moses]

Let her know how disappointed you are. Girls will respond better if they think you are "hurt" rather than "angry".

Let it go. Pick your battles. I think most kids are basically lazy. Time, life and and hardship will fix that. You can't.

[pwd72s]

If there is a market, sell her into slavery. If not? Just try to survive until she leaves home. I can't believe the number of "I can't wait to be free" speeches I got from our daughter before she left home. Once she finally left home? She had no idea who was really "free at last"!

[pohsche]

I do not want to sound snippy, but you should decide the fate of your daughter. Yes, "Daddy's Girl" does become a problem at that age, but You have to keep control. I always promised my Daughter at that age: "If you want to be an a-hole, I will always be a two notch above you a-hole." I never let her down and she decided I wasn't kidding, and she started acting like a human again. Never let up at that age. They will eat you alive.

Alan Poh
'77 Carrera 3.0

[CRH911S]

Here's what works for me and I'm a single parent. My son is 23 now so it was a while back.
Back when he was two and I was a new single parent we naturally became very close. We've built a home, fished tons of salmon in south central Alaska. Canoed Skilak Lake in a horrendous wind storm and made more trips up the Placer River than I care to remember. Brown bear chased us out of the Placer while fishing and up the Russian River while fishing as well. There have been motorcycles and quads. BMX and little league baseball and high school football. Lowered trucks, Roush handling kits, and auto cross.
The last two years I've been putting in a lot of extra time at work to pay for his college and sometimes I'm just plain tired. I've always been able to ask him for a helping hand and the way he looks at it is that this frees up my time which often is a benefit to him as well.
Next time consider the two of you going out and shoveling the snow together. Smile, and put your arm around her when you're done. Hope this helps.

[SLO-BOB]

This is a test...............

[Rob Channell]

I guess I'd tend to agree with the other Rob (Erakad).

[Z-man]

Originally posted by Moses
Let her know how disappointed you are. Girls will respond better if they think you are "hurt" rather than "angry".

Let it go. Pick your battles. I think most kids are basically lazy. Time, life and and hardship will fix that. You can't.

I agree.

Do the driveway without stating another word. But if she inquires, let your know your disappointment. And when she needs you to do something for her (ex: drive her to her friends this Saturday), let her know that you would love to help her, but bring up this shoveling incident, and that you will not help her out.

I believe your daughter should be punished for disobeying you. However, I think the best punishment is one that will really hit home for her. Taking away the comp and/or TV may get her razzled, but it's not a biggie since it's only temporary. But doing the same thing to her (essentially) as she did to you, especially when she is counting on you will drive your point home more clearly.

I don't have any kids, but have worked with youth (teenagers) on a voluntary basis for a long time. Good luck!
-Z-man.

[tabs]

Whatever you tell her/them they have to know you MEAN IT!..That there will be consequences for there actions or inactions...I think that means consistancy...Maybe handing her the shovel and going out and watching her do the work....and Ohhh little Susie can you pick up that stick over there while your at it...I guess maybe they should get the feeling it is easier to do what they are told then have you on their backs...Oh well back to the TV....This is advice from Tabs who never does what anyone tells him, unless he has a gun and a badge....

[nostatic]

I think you identified your problem in your description. The "half joking" part. You have to lay out the rules very clearly and stick to them. And the punishment has to be a "logical conclusion" of the wrong if possible. For instance, since she didn't shovel the sidewalk, you could tell her that her friends can't come over since it is dangerous to walk with snow on the sidewalk.

Get a whiteboard. When you tell them to do something, write it down on the board. Remind them once. And if you can, have a consequence attached. If they don't do it, or do it wrong, point to the board. Then there are no questions/arguments about who said what and what was involved.

[tabs]

Didn't I just say that Nostatus......Consequences I mean...the Board is actually a good idea...hmmm why didn't I think of that...maybe because I don't like having a paper trail attached to my wrong doing....it has kept me outa jail so far....

[A Quiet Boom]

All of the above. I'm an easy going guy who'll help just about anyone if I can, I chalk that up to my parents not only expecting me to do my chores (we lived in the country with a big yard, shoveling the driveway took and hour plus with a snowblower, the lawn 3 hours etc.) but I had to offer my help. If I didn't do my chores I got severely punished, if I offered help I got greatly rewarded. My daughter is 6, she does exactly what daddy asks and constantly offers to help. Being a little younger we have a sticker chart for her, if she does what's expected she gets a sticker, if she does what's expected and offers help she gets 3 more stickers. She can trade the stickers in on various things she likes. I very much agree with nostatic on the whiteboard idea, actually my wife and I use one on each other LOL. Seriously it helps our communication to right down important things the other must do, or events we must attend etc. The key here is to get your children to offer their help, they get to learn as well as spend time with their parents, it really can be win-win if you make it fun. My daughter and I for example wash the P-car together, I do the top and she does the bottom, she gets very upset if I do the bottom because that's "her job" and she is very proud of it. She also knows that daddy filled the squirt guns before we started washing Of course I have to let her win once in awhile. I hoping that I'm teaching my daughter the value of work and it seems to be working.

[tabs]

GDam I had to walk 3 miles to school through the snow...which was tough to do considering I grew up in So Cal....

[nostatic]

Originally posted by tabs
GDam I had to walk 3 miles to school through the snow...which was tough to do considering I grew up in So Cal....

yeah? my walk was uphill both directions. It was tough going to Escher Elementary...