Could it Get Much Worse for These People? What would You say to them?

[M.D. Holloway]

We moved into our new home about a year ago. Our neighbors to the right are really nice. They have three girls, 6, 8 and 10 and are great kids. Our kids and them are fantastic together. The wife formed an instant bond with my wife. The guy is a great guy and a real hard worker. In the past 5 months, we find out that the wifes father (divorced from her mother or 30+ years ago) is very gay and has AIDS. To make matters worse, he paid them a visit and had open sores which he didn't seem to mind or care if he oozed out on everything. The wifes Mother is full blown bi-polar. I met her and she is as wacky as a bed bug. The wifes brother paid her a visit and stayed a week. During that time he molested all three girls. The wife pressed charges and the cops raided his home in Maryland. Found tons of kiddy porn and other stuff. I guess he did this to other kids and family members - he is now in jail waiting trial. The FBI was also investigating this guy because I guess he is also into distributing stuff. So this lady has had it rough.

To make matters worse, the husband (now an ex-CFO) got fired last week from his high paying job. I saw them today - they stopped by after church. The only words of encouragement I could find were "well George, at least you have some time now to clean out the garage Hilery is always on you about."

Not sure but I am almost certain that they are exoeriencing just about as much stress as a family can save for murder or suicide. At this rate...my wife tells me not to go near them during a thunder storm, don't need to get hit again!

[84porsche]

Their is not much you can say to them. Does the wife work? Help them (watch the kids, etc) wherever you can? I am sure they would really appreciate it.

And if that son of a BI*** (wife's brother) comes back, beat the ever living SH** out of him. Sorry for my profanity but molesters should have bungie cords tied to them ( you know where) and thrown over bridges and then cut the damn cord. In CA, we have a website that identifies molesters and found one right down the street about 7 houses away from me, not very happy about that.

[M.D. Holloway]

The wife is an aerobics instructor. My wife is a stay at home Mom and we have watched the kids for them often while they go do the shrink thing. She had to physically hold back her husband when he found out. He has sevral shot guns and I could see that the guy means business. I'm sure that when this guy gets out (if), he will gp the way of all flesh, die, decay and become compost - sooner than later.

This poor guy married into a jackpot and this poor women was born into one!

[Isabo]

On the positive side they and their kids seem great - (have you checked them out at the time of the full moon?)
There is a belief that bad luck is contagious. Are you going to chance it

[Moses]

Your neighbors are not as benign as you think. The wifes father with HIV is off his meds and has open sores yet he is welcome to play with the grandkids? You want me to believe that your neighbor had no idea her brother is a twisted pedophile? I'm not buying it.

A parents primary responsibility is to protect their children. Your neighbor has failed. Would my kids be playing at that neighbors house? Not a chance.

[COLDBASS]

I steer clear of my neighbors, aside from howdy, the only interaction I have is a weekly chat about the condition of the leaves on our street. It helps that I am on a corner house.

I know it must be difficult have kids that socialize, but yes, keep your kids away from them. It could be that the storm hasnt completely passed...

Sounds like some mental health issues on the wifes side...

[Moses]

Originally posted by COLDBASS
Sounds like some mental health issues on the wifes side...

Let's see... Her father had a sexual identity crisis and is now gay. Mom is bipolar. Brother is a pedophile. And the wife nurtures these disfunctional relationships because???

Dependent Personality: The Submissive Pattern

"Dependent personalities are distinguished from other pathological patterns by their marked need for social approval and affection, and by their willingness to live in accord with the desires of others. Dependent persons' "centers of gravity" lie in others, not in themselves. They adapt their behavior to please those upon whom they depend, and their search for love leads them to deny thoughts and feelings that may arouse the displeasure of others. They avoid asserting themselves lest their actions be seen as aggressive. Dependents may feel paralyzed when alone and need repeated assurances that they will not be abandoned. Exceedingly sensitive to disapproval, they may experience criticism as devastating.

Dependent personalities tend to denigrate themselves and their accomplishments. What self-esteem they possess is determined largely by the support and encouragement of others. Unable to draw upon themselves as a major source of comfort and gratification, they must arrange their lives to ensure a constant supply of nurturance and reinforcement from their environment. However, by turning exclusively to external sources for sustenance, dependents leave themselves open to the whims and moods of others. Losing the affection and protection of those upon whom they depend leads them to feel exposed to the void of self-determination. To protect themselves, dependents quickly submit and comply with what others wish, or make themselves so pleasing that no one could possibly want to abandon them.

Dependents are notably self-effacing, obsequious, ever-agreeable, docile, and ingratiating. A clinging helplessness and a search for support and reassurance characterize them. They tend to be self-depreciating, feel inferior to others, and avoid displaying initiative and self-determination. Except for needing signs of belonging and acceptance, they refrain from making demands on others. They deny their individuality, subordinate their desires, and hide what vestiges they possess as identities apart from others. They often submit to abuse and intimidation in the hope of avoiding isolation."

[M.D. Holloway]

Yup, pretty much sums it up. Our kids only play under ver supervised encounters. We have to "be nice" because they are our nieghbors and the 3 girls are innocent in this mess.

[Moses]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
... 3 girls are innocent in this mess.

The really shocking thing is how our society refuses to deal harshly with child molesters, even violent ones. After a short time in protective custody in our penal system, they are encouraged to get "counselling". Of course the rate of repeat offenses with pedophiles is staggeringly high.

[M.D. Holloway]

I just got back helping my nieghbor install some shelves in his garage. He had his latest target practice shot card. 100 Shots at 35 yards - perfect placement and 100% grouping with his glock 9mm. The guy will kill this guy when he gets out - I just hope I don't get disposed!

[arcsine]

Originally posted by Moses
Of course the rate of repeat offenses with pedophiles is staggeringly high.

I understand it as pedophiles do not rehabilitate, period. In my mind if there ever was justification for a death penalty, or a "Cool Hand Luke" incarceration, child molesters deserve it.

[M.D. Holloway]

Moses - maybe she is putting her kids in harms way but she has this huge need to have some sort of family unit thing. She thinks that her father should see his grand kids. I think he is a bag-o-*****, I get the sense that she just wants to put a certain amount of "good deeds " in the bank for future withdrawl - too bad she doesn't know what the road to hell is paved with!

[Moses]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
Moses - maybe she is putting her kids in harms way but she has this huge need to have some sort of family unit thing. She thinks that her father should see his grand kids. I think he is a bag-o-*****, I get the sense that she just wants to put a certain amount of "good deeds " in the bank for future withdrawl - too bad she doesn't know what the road to hell is paved with!

It's all part of the "Dependent Personality"/ "Inadequate Personality" pathology. The wood are full of them. In a family as richly disturbed as hers, it would be pretty likely that she shares some sort of psychopathology. The "lunacy legacy" is hard to avoid.

[Moses]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
The guy will kill this guy when he gets out -

I can't even imagine the pain and anger he must feel. Unfortunately, his rage will not help his children. They need love, support and counselling. The kids need to feel safe again.

[on-ramp]

hopefully this family doesn't browse the pelican parts tech 911 board.

[M.D. Holloway]

To make matters worse, the huge oak tree in their back yard is now completely dead. This thing must have been 150 years old. Prehaps a sign of the times, real Jungian flare!

If nothing else, it would make for an edgy HBO series ...

[widebody911]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
To make matters worse, the huge oak tree in their back yard is now completely dead. This thing must have been 150 years old.

Hmmmmm... firewood...

[kach22i]

My problems now seem so small.

[vash]

poor kids! the rest of the hell seems to pale in comparison, to what those kids went through. i swear to God, if i ever get blessed with children, i am going on 100% full alert, to make damn certian they feel/are safe.

pedophiles need to die.