funny story about "man vs woman"

[air-cool-me]

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From
Venus," offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment
with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each
person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate
right.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also
sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what
has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

There is be absolutely NO
talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be
written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
has been reached."



The following was actually turned in by two of his English
students:

Rebecca and Gary.



THE STORY:



(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must
now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
was suffocating, and if she thought
about him too much her asthma started acting up again.
So chamomile was out of the question.



(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo
named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a
year ago.

"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.



(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of
her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with
no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must
one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.



(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty
through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian
ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam,
felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his
fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"



(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.



(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA? Oh
no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
novels!"



(Rebecca)

*******.



(Gary)

*****



(Rebecca)

F__K YOU -- YOU NEANDERTHAL!



(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.



(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one