Herbert and I Go to Dinner or the End of a Friendship
 

Hebert and I decided to go to one of those Hoi Te Toytee LV Restruants the other day....I got all dressed up in my Sunday go to meeting clothes and picked Herbert up and headed on down to the local Bistro...It is one of those Linen Table Cloth type of joints that charge an arm and leg for mediocracy that they think is swell...but what the heck ya gotta live a little after all there is more to life than Buffets...

Anyway I am seated and I take Herbert out of my pocket and am tapping at his box .....Ohh I did forget to tell You all that Herbert is my pet Cockroach....anyway the Waiter gives me a funny look and a few minutes later the Restruant manager comes over to the table and tells me that I have to put Herbert away, that it has to do with the Health Code or some such nonsense... I explain that Herbert is my friend and that we are inseperable....The Manager by this time is getting a might upset...and says that if I persist he will have to ask me to leave... I reply, "Very well, come Herbert we don't want to stay anyplace that we are not wanted." To which Herbert says that he wants to stay....I said, "You WANT TO STAY very well than Herbert have it your own way"...to which I opened the box dumped Herbert on the table and smashed him into the table cloth with a resounding smack of my hand....I got up and as I was walking out said to the Manager, "I guess Herbert and I weren't such good friends after all."

You killed an innocent cockroach? How dare you!

How allegorical. . .

I have been full of remorse ever since I did Herbert in....I don't usually do my friends that way....as a matter of fact I contacted my ole Thearpist friend to talk to him but he said he was busy talkin to a patient who was working out some issues about selling his 88 Carrera....

LOL!! Nice segue... well done.

It was an '87 Carrera but nice work anyway.

and replaced by a '79 SC, but continue...

Must be a differnt guy, this patient is selling a Black 88 Carrera. My Therapist firnd tells me his patient is so wishy washy, he still live at home mind you and he is 27 and just can't stop spending money on designer label merchandise...it's almost a fetish with him....and his dear old Pendleton wearing Grandfather just dotes on him thinking that he can do no wrong....is it any wonder that this kid is so fked up with a Grandfather like that...

tabs, you are indeed a man of wealth and taste.

Thanks for the refreshing story, and continuing dialogue. Much appreciated! :)

If I ever make it to Sin City, I'll bypass the Vegas Showgirls for an evening of entertainment with "The Tabs."

-Z.

....good times....

Judging from this story you might not come back!:p

Tabs, you should write a book. A coffee table book about Vegas buffets.

I'd buy one, just for kicks and giggles. You have to sign it though.

As much as I am flattered Z-Man..your a fool to pass by a night with the LV Showgirls....pork and pork again cause U never know when your gona pork again....ahhhh I better keep my mouth shut here cause you never know when Mother is listening huh...ML.....

Anyway I was shuffling around the corners of Kitchen cabinets and I found a new friend and pet....I think I'll call him Herbert the 2nd ... better known a HB2....he is an awefully beautiful Cockroach, all Black and shiney...I bet he can run fast to..... I feel like I should be taking pictures of him...he is that beautiful....

has anyone else sensed that tabs has been crying out for help the last few weeks? he goes through these episodes a couple times a year and it kills me to see it happen.

get well soon tabby.

OuuuuuyuuuuuuWhooooo...the table begins to quiver and shake...rise and fall and a disembodied voice from the beyond says, "What do U want, and it better be good to wake me from my nap... an Boy I was conked out.....there is nothing better than sleep...except drink.?"

Somehow, some way, it all comes back to Mother . . .

Frankly, I was thrilled to escape squishing when me and my friend Tabs went to an LV ginmill (w/ an attractive bartendress) a year ago. I guess I wasn't against health code.

JP

Mother never did like my friends she was always squishing them...Quiet frankly Op..allthough there is...was quiet a close resemblence to Herbert you were just too big to squish...now HB2 is just so handsome a cockroach ......now where in the he11 did he run off to.....here HB2..... I sure hope Jackie O doesn't get ahold of him......now where could he be?

Rather explains why I'd catch tabs sneaking up on me with a big napkin and can of Raid at the buffet line...a strange and until-now-unexplained oddity at an otherwise normal and enjoyable dinner...