Miserable day at work
 

It´s one hour after midnight at work. I am a pediatrician and this is a hospital.

Me and my staff have just given up on a boy who fell in a pond. Two hours of intensive resuscitation but, alas, could not save him.

He was 5 years old.

Sometimes I really hate my work.

sad to hear it :( I'm in awe of people like you who are able to help so many people... I can't imagine that responsibility, though.

Sorry to hear that livi. Can't imagine. Just kissed my daughters head.

After all these years and all I've seen, I'm still haunted by the memory of a beautiful little 5 year old boy who was brought to our emergency room after being hit by a car. It was a low speed accident. No blood anywhere, but he had a ruptured spleen. It was Sunday and he was dressed for church. He had the face of an angel. He died in his fathers arms moments after he arrived in the hospital. It was 18 years ago, but I still can't forget him.

I'm not sure I have the courage for pediatrics. We're all lucky to have folks like you when our kids are in need.

people like you that do this for a living are nothing short of real heros and it's very commendable. i can't imagine any profession that is more selfless.

Thanks guys,

This was a truly egoistic post. Just felt an overwhelming need of telling somebody and there is always people "at home" on this forum.

And...well, I guess in some sense feels like family..

I think it must take real strength to do your kind of work and not put up high emotional walls to defend yourself. Sometimes you should take time to think about how special you are. It would not be egotistical to do that.

I feel like I need to say something but I'm afraid to try and use words where none are fitting.

Reaching out like a human being is hardly egotistical. We feel your pain.

Young or old, it's never fun. Pharmacologically induced dreams are required tonight.:(

livi - what you do is to heal others. It requires amazing compassion, vast degrees of confidence and very high intelligence. There are folks that try to do what you do and some fail in the attempt but others are able to do it. They are special. You are special.

You are the one that I (and my Wife) wait on every word you utter when you are giving a physical our child or treating them for a life treating sickness or setting a bone or giving adice on how to get them to sleep in their own bed. We may ask our parents certain advice on how to raise our kids but you are the one that we seek wisdom and re-assurence from. What you provide is really sustaining life to the most important things in our lives, our kids.

Please remember that you save lives everyday and provide more comfort to kids (and parents) than they will ever ever let you know.

Is bad as it sounds, I am glad you feel *****ty about what happened, it really shows you care. If it didn't feel bad, it wouldn't matter to you. Then it's time to get out. keep doing what you do. We need people like you!

I'm glad it matters to you, because it matters to us. Stay strong livi. We'll be thinking of you and saying our own prayers for our kids and even yours.

A good friend of mine used ot be a Paramedic for an ambulance.

He is now a Paramedic on a Trama Hawk Helicopter so he basically sees grizzly car accidents every day.

I am not sure how he does it. He took me for a ride along on the abulance one night and I was anxiety ridden that I would see something that would haunt me for the rest of my life. Like what Moses saw.

He sort of did that to me in the hospital emergency room. He told me to look behind me, there was a 300 lb naked women strapped to a table tripping on PCP or something. It was indeed a grizzly sight.

You are a pecial breed livi, I know from time to time my friend flakes out from what he sees. You all are amazing to me and I am in awe that you do what you do.

Hang in there.

Thanks for doing what you do, Livi. I don't think I could handle the sight of a child in that condition. I think of my little guy and I tear up.
God Bless you,

here's to tomorrow being a better day...

Funny thing. Managed to cope a few more patients. Sneaked back for a quick coffee and read your responses.

That´s when I started crying. Like a baby.

That´s what´s defining a quality debriefing !

Thanks,

Very sorry to hear of this, Livi. Of course tragedies happen all over the world on a constant basis, but when they directly affect you it can be beyond brutal. I find medicine to be fascinating and there is so much about the profession that appeals to me, but seeing people suffer, (like this kid's parents must be), just would make me lose it.

This place is a community and you are a valued member, so it was completely appropriate to share it w/ us, I think. Take care. :cool:

God bless you Markus. That you shared the experience proves you are human and that this touched you - it is better than becoming an iceman and not letting it affect you. Thank you for your service.

I was at work when I read your post - I closed my laptop within 30 seconds of reading it and went home to see my daughter. I didn't let her go until it was time to put her to bed.

Thank you for sharing Markus...touching indeed...

In another life and another time I was in your shoes,always remembered the little ones I couldn't help, one morning when I came home after a tough night, the Lady gave me a hug and said (and I say to you now.."Markus ,alot of Mothers are grateful this morning, watching their tykes laugh and run because of what you did another night .
take care,
Rika

What I hear is a highly trained, compassionate doctor did their best and then some to save a young boys life. I applaud your effort and more so your need to greive a little over the loss. If you did not feel the loss, that would not be right.

"Markus, alot of Mothers are grateful this morning, watching their tykes laugh and run because of what you did another night ."

D**n straight!