Just making general comments about older (non college age) single crazy hot chicks. In general they are nutso, plain ass nutso. And I was saying that I'm sure a good portion of your exes would fit my statement. I say that because everything you have posted is so identical to what I've already heard it's uncanny.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks Doc, I needed a good laugh......


:::::::head hung low:::::::::::: yeah, that sounds like my ex's. To a 'T'.

Why is it the hot ones are so nutso? It's God's sick joke isn't it?

It's like a lot of ugly girls have HUGE BOOBS. God's sick joke....like......."If you want the candy, there's a price" :D

Best advice by far. Do you think she sees any flaws in you?

Life/love is not perfect and with real love you take risks.

There are no sure thing but without trying you may as well die.

If you are lucky enough to find that one person that 'inspires you to be better'

You have found the one.

Should I ask her what flaws she finds in me? Is that dangerous? or even a correct thing to do? Maybe it'll open my eyes up to a different side of things........


?

Here's the secret....

You know that chick at the party or in the store or in the apartment down the hall that certainly isn't "hot" but for some reason you can't stop looking at her? There's just something about her, maybe the eyes, the lips, the smile, the way she talks or walks, whatever. You know damn well your buddies would never call her hot either, but there's just something about her and you love it! Well, that's the one, that's the secret...the "something about her girl". Ok maybe not that particular one, but you get what I mean.

When you can take "something about her girl" to a party or get together with your buddies and not care what anyone thinks (not because you are trying not to, but because you really and truly don't care) then you have arrived.



Disclaimer: Lendaddy is not saying marry the first "something about her girl" you can, Lendaddy is just making a point...carry on.:)

Not a good idea! Better option: do a Playboy-style interview (if you haven't) so you can learn what things you do that might be "not perferct". BTW didn't read the whole thread, but if you really can't imagine life w/o her then that doesn't jibe with the physical requirements which you seem to have. Remember, we're all going to be 70 some day and all of us will have loose skin.

But I'm 32, so I've got some time for the loose skin :D ...........but I'm beginning to get the 'jist' of what everyone is saying,


especially lendaddy........makes great sense.


Oh, and Lendaddy......what would you recommend that I do to correct this 'issue' I've got? Stop looking at porn? LOL......or just start purging my brain of society's garbage that I'm filling my head with......

Man I don't know. That's a personal awakening thing. If I knew I'de write a book instead of posts on here:)

I remember I was 17 and thinking about breaking up with my current wife "cause I could get hotter chicks". I simply thought it through and realized that I would be doing it purely for appearances and not to be happier. Best decision I've ever made, no doubt. So there you go, I just mentally did it, but I was merely 17 and didn't have the extra 15 years to get set in bad habits:)

*****-you can say that again..........it doesn't help that I've had a really traumatic past relationship either. Girl nearly wiped me off the face of the earth...........only to try and get me back........talk about a skull F*ck................

If you really knew, deep in your heart and stomach, that this is the woman you want - your would not have posted this in the first place.

Sounds to me you need to spend more time with her. DO NOT make any commitments before you have that gut feeling. Time with a person is essential and will give you the answer (and her too for that matter).

Traits or "body issues" that you maybe concerned about today may not bother you at all later - on the other hand you (or she) may discover other disadvantages with each other that will turn out to be of even greater concern.

Like to rephrase my former tip - "when in doubt, cut it out" to when in doubt, wait it out...

First of all - Lendaddy is usually right about these matters... read his words carefully.

Next, relationships borne of match.com are usually intrinsically messed up. Believe me, I know this from personal experience. If she was on there for any length of time, maybe a few months or more, then she is messed up. Hot women on match.com get flooded with emails. In the old days, things were not always so easy, and that was a great deterrent to easy break-ups. If you slip up one time, she knows she can go back online and get a hundred dates in a day. Having said all of that, I met the love of my life on match.com, and I hope and pray that it will be permanent. I'm crazy about her. She got thousands of emails from really good-looking, successful guys, but it was too much work to respond to them, so she settled for me :)

Next, how often do you fall in love? Have you had this happen before? I dunno... maybe this happens often to you. If it does, then its safe to assume that maybe she's no big deal to you. If not, then maybe you're onto something special.

Finally, you need to grow up. And I don't say that in a derogatory way. You have the wrong mentality. And it may take you a few years to see the light. You seem to be in love with this woman... what makes you think you'll find another, better woman? Some people go their whole lives without finding someone that they can appreciate day after day after day. For most people, it's a downright miserable existence. So what if she's not perfect? Guess what buddy, news flash: no girl is perfect. She doesn't exist. Life is all about compromises.

You just gotta learn to love what you have and don't look back.

Markus, are you a closet surgeon?:D

Don't you guys think this is a cold feet question better asked the day before he gets married (usually after the tenth drink and second lap dance?)

Thanks Richard, I'm not sure I deserve it but thanks regardless. I have followed your personal story as it reminds me of my brother (not sure if you recall that discussion hint:divorces) and I'm glad to see you're happy! If you can find it, I'm sure he can too....so many similarities.

The truth is that I use to really think I had it figured out, could help almost everyone.... I don't think that way anymore, mostly because many people don't want to be helped. They develop either a love for the game (the adrenaline rush of entering a room with arm candy, etc...) or they fall into a self destructive sex-centric lifestyle (addictive like heroin) and ultimately deep depression.

Some "grow-up" as Richard and I have said. They end up happier than they ever thought possible, all by rejecting the lifestyle/thought process they previously viewed as their only source of happiness. Weird stuff.

very few people truly "change." If she isn't into exercise now (when she's young and it is realtively "easy"), she likely won't be into it long term. People can change almost anything in the short run. Long run? Nope.

It is said that a woman enters a relationship assuming she can change her man, while a man enters assuming (hoping?) she will never change.

If the body is a hang up for you, then you've got problems. I have yet to meet a woman who is happy with her own body, so that insecurity is a given. But if you aren't charged up about how she looks right *now*, you won't be able to provide genuine "honey you look great" comments.

But another question is what about you? Are you ripped with a 6-pack and full head of hair? Match is interesting...seems that everyone (both sexes) is looking for about the same thing. The men all need to be 5'10" and above without a beer gut and not flabby, and the women all have to be lean and maybe with a decent rack. Oh yeah, and they have to make you laugh....but in a good way.

and btw, why search that far away? There are tons of women closer to home. Unless you have a brit fetish, look closer to your own backyard so this kind of dilemma won't be such an issue.

Todd - thanks for saving me the time of typing all that out! Scary!

Some more thought:
OK... so you meet the perfect woman at 32. What do you think she'll look like at 42? How about 36 after having two kids? Let's say you're 36, with two kids and her belly, boobs, and butt are sagging/strech marked as a result of carrying your children. Are you going to leave the family behind to go find another 32 year old and start over?

Dude - I gave up a legit SI Model to be with me wife. Now, my wife is no supermodel but we connected.

This girl is into you and you have fun together? WTF! You got someting many don't. BTW - she is pretty and if she puts in a little effort in the sack and as my ol man would say "if she gets on top and wiggles a little, what more can you ask for?".

Stop thinking and start screwing for Gods sake! Oh ya, stop your *****'n whin'n, she 's a hooties now get of line and go show her what an American can do to a limey if she doesn't behave!

Lendaddy is the man on this one. But I'm not sure you are listening to him.

I have similar conversations with my nephew. His agonies are sad and funny. At times I get so tired of hearing it all I feel like saying, just ba*g her until you're blue in the face and blue everywhere else and then see how you feel about things. But I'm a responsible uncle!

Livi-I aggree about spending more time with her....

I've been "In Love" once, and yes I know the difference between that and just 'love'. I adore k. I truely do, she makes me melt......and as far as Match.com....she was on it for one month, actually not even a month prior to us talking. We started talking, and both cancelled our memeberships.

I dissagree....to a point about people not changing in the long run. She almost went to the Olympics for Skiing (don't ask me if it's downhill or what I'm not sure) and she was in dance. So she has and is starting to be athletic more often. As for me I work out 4-6 days a week-ripped no-not shredded, but you can see a six pack .....digressing here....
And as far as her being British, well it just sort of happened that way....on a fluke that she even responded to my email.........
[QUOTE]Originally posted by LubeMaster77
Dude - I gave up a legit SI Model to be with me wife. Now, my wife is no supermodel but we connected.

This girl is into you and you have fun together? WTF! You got someting many don't. BTW - she is pretty and if she puts in a little effort in the sack and as my ol man would say "if she gets on top and wiggles a little, what more can you ask for?".

Stop thinking and start screwing for Gods sake! Oh ya, stop your *****'n whin'n, she 's a hooties now get of line and go show her what an American can do to a limey if she doesn't behave! [/QUOTE

Well said. I really appreciate all of your input. Truely. I went home last night and we talked things out...started to. I think there's a lot more going on her than just mere 'looks'. I think I'm feeling stressed b/c ever since she came back from Boston (us seeing eachother) in May, she's been a wreck. Well, to be honest, about 5 weeks after that she had surgery and has been a wreck on and off since (that was in june). Her mind has been elsewhere (here) and her body was back home. I know she loves me, adores me. She feels inadequate around me sexually, and physically-yet I've never met-not an immature statement from me-down right truth-I've never met another woman or girl like her. What she does for my heart and the things she's done for me make me hum inside. Last time she was here, when she left I had issues about the physical thing.....but she started working out hard, and eating right. Even 2+ months later (not working out like she did prior to her minor surgery) I can notice the difference. I was having concernces b/c our relationship has taken a lot of mental resources as of late, with in the last month or so. I started a new career and moved 1700+miles to Tampa from Boston for this career, and life. And to also make a new home for her and myself. Her on the other hand used to be really successful doing makeup for models. She did really well, purchased a $800k flat in reading UK at the age of 23...and then got out of the bizz. She hated it. However, she's extremely talented in what she does.....but as of late she's been really unfocused with her career.......and that's made me worry. Worry b/c I don't want to feel like I have to worry over my girl.....especially since I've started a new career myself. it's a long story......but one that I feel.........in my gut......is the source of all this bull*****. I do look at her and find her very attractive. Okay, so she doesn't have big natural boobs. Being a Boob guy......that's a toughy...but I do know (don't know if I've accepted it or not) that big boobs don't make a relationship successful. They do help but ;) j/k.

But seriously.........I think I just need to spend time with her and feel it out........feel that same love i have with her as I have all these months. And try and go from there. I'm not going to build these huge expectations....just go with it for a bit.

Thoughts?

These issue will seem minor once you get married with kids. The money will never be enough, she will change (they all do - like it or not), and you can only hope to God she has a decent family you will be marrying into.

Career? Ya, that would be nice to have a wife with one, good luck with that...and in 20 years they all end up looking the same anyway...

Well, er..uh that was positive.........thanks........I think........