Pelican Parts Forums

Pelican Parts Forums (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/)
-   Off Topic Discussions (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/)
-   -   What are you? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/250027-what-you.html)

aways 11-07-2005 09:47 AM

What are you?
 
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern
Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your
wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at
you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you
are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before
he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer
the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built
into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what
kind of message does this send to society and
to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he
be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could
my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed
day and make this happier, healthier street
that would discourage such behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those
the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cowtown 11-07-2005 09:55 AM

aways, when they say Southern Republican, something tells me they're not talking about Southern CA. :D

nostatic 11-07-2005 09:58 AM

Another biased/poorly worded question. I'm carrying a Sig chambered in 9mm.

lendaddy 11-07-2005 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by nostatic
Another biased/poorly worded question. I'm carrying a Sig chambered in 9mm.
And I'm sure you'de use it as a club in an attempt to knock the knife from his hand:)

Victor 11-07-2005 04:49 PM

Is this sort of thing a regular occurance in the USA?

lendaddy 11-07-2005 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Victor
Is this sort of thing a regular occurance in the USA?
Only in big liberal cities.

Victor 11-07-2005 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lendaddy
Only in big liberal cities.
Islamic Terrorists are out knifing liberals in the streets? You better join the cause then.

nostatic 11-07-2005 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SoCal911SC
I exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.
And you're an excellent driver.

aways 11-07-2005 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Victor
Is this sort of thing a regular occurance in the USA?
Not yet. Apparently only in France...

Z-man 11-07-2005 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nostatic
And you're an excellent driver.
Nice.

And K-Mart sucks.

M.D. Holloway 11-07-2005 07:34 PM

Trick question, a democrate wouldn't be walking down a deserted street with his wife and kids, he would be driving his Saab at a resonable speed and only thinking about driving down a deserted street and how repressed the people on the street must be - later he will call his liberal friends and talk about the various things the government should be doing to rebuild that street and maybe how they will work a soap kitchen for a few hours on Thanksgiving all the while their Roth IRA is maturing nicely and their children are whinning about the fact that the next Harry Potter movie is PG13 and Mommy won't let them go because it may be to offending.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2025 Pelican Parts, LLC - Posts may be archived for display on the Pelican Parts Website


DTO Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.