19 Ways To Be A Good Democrat...

[rcecale]

Received this in an e-mail tonight. Made me laugh because these seem to have all be discussed here in OT at one time or another...

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding
Americans are more threatening than nuclear weapons in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists (and now, Iranian Mullahs).
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal
funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate than by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by
foreigners, including the Chinese Government is acceptable, but that Tom Delay should be in jail for skirting (apparently legally) a Texas law to use the contributions of American citizens. (A pox on both parties' money raising activities.)
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach the same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton are
nice, normal people, while George Bush, Carl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, and most Christians are evil.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

Randy

[Joeaksa]

Randy,

#18 needs to have "as well you do not want to see the word God mentioned anywhere, but please keep printing millions of bills that have "in God we trust" on the top"...

JoeA

[rcecale]

Looks like it's only a matter of time before currency is attacked, Joe.

Court Ducks 'In God We Trust' Case.

Randy

[Joeaksa]

And probably by the 9th Circuit court of appeals, which has the word God on the outside of the courthouse no doubt.

Joe A

[rsNINESOOPER]

Looks to be written by a right winger-

[Tobra]

Originally posted by rsNINESOOPER
Looks to be written by a right winger-

That actually made me laugh out loud.

[Seahawk]

Why?

[Tobra]

Originally posted by Seahawk
Why?

A sarcastic thread that is blatantly partisan from the outset, he says it looks to be written by a right winger and you don't find that ironically humorous?

[Joeaksa]

Originally posted by Tobra
That actually made me laugh out loud.

Like you parts of it made me laugh as well, but its sad that much of its true.

JoeA

[RoninLB]

so much Dem crap will die away with the baby boomers along side.

[Usmellgass2?]

BRAVO Randy!!

[rsNINESOOPER]

Originally posted by Tobra
A sarcastic thread that is blatantly partisan from the outset, he says it looks to be written by a right winger and you don't find that ironically humorous?

Never heard of a one liner?

enjoy your giggles and Ill enjoy mine

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by rsNINESOOPER
Looks to be written by a right winger-

It takes a right-winger to accurately analyze and put into perspective democrat manufactured brainwashing and blatant vaccuousness.

I hope some day you can see how misled you are.

(I laughed too)

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by rsNINESOOPER
Looks to be written by a right winger-

It takes a right-winger to accurately analyze and put into perspective democrat manufactured brainwashing and blatant vaccuousness.

I hope some day you can see how misled you are.

(I laughed too)

[jkarolyi]

Great post randy. I'm sure there's an equivalent list out there about Republicans too. I'd like to see that one too.

[rsNINESOOPER]

Originally posted by Mulhollanddose
It takes a right-winger to accurately analyze and put into perspective democrat manufactured brainwashing and blatant vaccuousness.

I hope some day you can see how misled you are.

(I laughed too)

Its statements like these where you begin with immediately insulting someone who has not addressed you nor made an insult that make you so abrasive. Your views on what others have to say are lost due to this fact and a good natured debate almost always turns into an insult hurling contest. Humor regarding a topic is IMO welcomed because it helps break the icy seriousness for a moment. Insults only serve to derail the topic.

Further more a majority of us you call "liberal scum" are nothing of the sort. I for example am not an extreme Democrat or an extreme Republican and in all actuality probably share a few of your views with you. Imagine that. Above all else I am an "American" and have differing views of "OUR" country than you might but thats just the way it is. Try and let this forum be a place where people can share their viewpoints and not their insults. You are not the only one who seems to have trouble with this as there are a few of you on the boards (Demo & Repub) who use this degrading tactic to try and "WIN" the argument.

There is no argument to "WIN", only middle ground yet to be discovered and nurtured- A divided America is weak and certainly not effective as a role model of Democracy especially in these times.

[CamB]

21 Steps to becoming a good liberal

Conservative Beliefs

Nothing new to see here

[Superman]

Things you have to believe to be a Republican

MOST IMPORTANT BELIEF: Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Closely followed by:

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations; but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies ("that's old Europe") then expect their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A President lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving and military records are none of our business. Nor are Dick Cheney's task force discussions with energy industry our business either.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

__________________________________________________ _______

Both are funny. I guess by these definitions, I am certainly neither a Democrat or a Republican.

How 'bout the rest of you guys. Do the beliefs above agree with yours? Just wondering.

[aways]

Originally posted by Superman
Things you have to believe to be a Republican

MOST IMPORTANT BELIEF: Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
AT THE TIME IRAN WAS A BIGGER THREAT. WE WERE ALIES WITH THE USSR IN WWII, BUT WE DIDN'T LIKE THEM
Closely followed by:

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
CASTRO IS A THUG WHO IS A VOWED ENEMY OF THE US.
CHINA, AT LEAST PUBLICLY ISN'T

The United States should get out of the United Nations; but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
THE US IS SIMPLY DEMONSTRATING THAT THE UN IS INEFFICTIVE AND CORRUPT.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
IT'S IN HER BODY, IT'S NOT HER BODY.

Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
REPUBLICANS DON'T HATE HOMOSEXUALS, THEY JUST DON'T THINK IT SHOULD BE "CELEBRATED".

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
DEMS TO BLAME HERE AS WELL.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
NOBODY CLAIMS THAT. THERE WOULD BE LESS SEX IF IT WEREN'T ENCOURAGED.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies ("that's old Europe") then expect their cooperation and money.
WE DIDN'T CRITISIZE OLD EUROPE UNTIL AFTER THEY
UNDERCUT US AND STABBED US In thE BACK.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
NOBODY SAYS PROVIDE IRAQIS WITH HEALTHCARE

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
THESE ARE NOT REPUBLICAN POSITIONS.

A President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A President lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
CLINTON DID LIE, THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT BUSH DID.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
THE PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ON THESE THINGS, NOT JUDGES.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving and military records are none of our business. Nor are Dick Cheney's task force discussions with energy industry our business either.
HILLARY'S CATTLE DEALS ARE A MATTER OF PUIBLIC RECORED JUST AS MARTHA'S....

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
IT'S AN ILLNESS IN BOTH CASES, BUT DEALING IS NOT.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
WHAT DID CLINTON DO IN THE 60'S? I THOUGH HE DIDN'T
BECOME A SERIAL HARRASSER UNTIL THE 70'S.

__________________________________________________ _______

Both are funny. I guess by these definitions, I am certainly neither a Democrat or a Republican.

How 'bout the rest of you guys. Do the beliefs above agree with yours? Just wondering.

Rather than just name call, I tried to respond briefly to
these silly accusations about Republicans. I used CAPS
to highlight my responses, not for emphasis.

[fintstone]

The sad part (and witnessed on this BBS) is that even the liberals will never admit to being a liberal or democrat. All are either independent, "fiscally conservative, but socially liberal", etc. It is amazing to see such vigorous support for a party they are ashamed to be associated with.