As usual, all of my stories are first person, and long.

I took a job flying for a Swiss guy that wanted to open a charter jet business in Mainland China. Early 1995. We were based in Singapore (hence the singpilot ID).

I was the pathfinder, first to fly all the routes and open the base stations. We were affiliated with China Southern Airlines, one of the 7 CAAC officially sanctioned airlines in China. In order to fly domestic China, I had to go thru an extensive training routine on the way things are in the non-international domestic routes in interior China.

They do everything differently, I mean everything. Part of the process was getting an official ID badge. I was ushered into this large bureaucratic office with a young translator ( I didn't speak Cantonese, and they didn't speak English). There was this almost comical back and forth session with all of my answers to their questions being transcribed into stick characters on 8 forms. No carbon paper here, they do each copy in original. At some point they ask me my Chinese name.

I look dumb for a second (not a stretch) and figure, why not.... My family name is Chiu. They all make very knowing glances all around, the translator giving me a running commentary about the proud history of my family name. Warrior family from the Xianju Province, lineage back to the 2nd Dynasty of someone or other. All the time the stick figures going down on 8 copies.

Next question. Given name. My driver's given name was Maidong. So I say Maidong. Another glowing knowing look, and the scribes start to work on the 8 copies. The translator telling me Maidong is 7th son, favourite of the father's father. Few minutes later, they come back with my laminated ID, all in Chinese characters except for the China Southern Airlines Captain Maidong Chiu, and my smiling pic.

Two days later end up in Hong Kong, and am meeting all the follow-on crews for a briefing on operating in Mainland China. We were all staying at the Peninsula Hotel (just prior to the handover). I told everyone to meet me in the Long Bar at 7. I stroll in at 7, flash the ID to the startled Maitre'D, who knew what the CAAC badge meant (almost a god on earth), and asked him to page me in the bar when he had a table for 18 Gai-jin (foreign devils).

10 Minutes later, the little messenger in a bright green velvet outfit with the monkey cap, and the chalkboard on a stick with bells on it struts into the bar full of westerners and loudly announces "Captain Chiu, Captain Chiu Maidong, your table is ready."

Everyone in the room drops to the floor hysterically. I proudly raise my hand and say "I am Captain Chiu....."

To this day, I still live with that nickname. I knew they always said the family name first out of respect.

They never discovered my joke.

He has another daughter named Cava and a son named King.

What's with Urologists and weird names? I saw one named Peter Slocum. Considering the procedure I was having done, I guess it should have been Peter Nocum. (rimshot)

I also met a Mary Christmas.

I worked for a Dick Peeper.

Had an instructer in flight school named Lt. Richard Dick. We called him Dick Squared. The name fit.

Too weird-I was going to mention the Richard Dick that I knew in grade school circa 1969 in Milwaukee. Same guy?

Ed Zachary, as in, to the point.

I met a really fat woman from Georgia named Lotta Bottoms.

When I was in New York, a young woman named Mrs. Colon told me she wanted to name her newborn son after the doctor who delivered him. I told her the doctors name was Sigmoid.

I still feel kind of bad about that.

Don't know...I was but a lowly Ensign and he was LT Dick Dick, a small, banty-legged legend in his own mind.:)

The timing would work, though...D2 would be about that age.

OK, my last name is Dranow, pronounced like the product. Hear a couple of jokes there.

PS. Bill Lear's daughter's name is Chandelle. Ya really didn't want to call her Chanda in front of her dad...

I used to work with Richard Peter Johnson. Nobody really knew his name because everyone called him Pete.

I was in EOD school with a young airman with the last name Grabas. There was also a Navy guy named Peters whos rate was Intel Communications (I think) third class. The Navy goes by rate instead of rank so he was IC3 Peters.

Then theres this one the picture of the Army captain I can't seem to find...

I went to hihgh school with a Calvin Oliver Jones. He signed all of his papers, cojones. My step father is friends with Beecher Dickoff.

Then there's this poor SOB..

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1133331121.jpg

Richard Nixon!!
What do you get when you remove the RIC from richard and NIX from Nixon?

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HARD ON!!!

From Freakanomics (pg 190):

...the name just given to her baby niece. It was pronounced shu-TEED but in fact was spelled "*****head."

...the twin boys OrangeJello and LemonJello...whose parents...the pronunciations a-RON-zhello and le-MON-zhello.

These are typical Scandanavian names. Have a Maximus and Minus in my family history. Can you imagine being the brother of Max and named Minus? How about having a chip on your shoulder from birth!

JoeA

Funny, I knew a Richard Slocum. He owned a large canning company.

how about the guy here with the "harryd" screen name?

Had a client once named Hymen Bladder...

Makes you wonder how he pissed off his parents so bad...

My manipulation therapist is Mr. Bender. I knew a Harry Balls. I've never met anyone named Richard Head.