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Hugh R's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: southern California
Posts: 26,964
Male Sensitivity Test

Male Sensitivity Test.

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.

B. Screwing.

C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

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2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.

B. Your blood-test results.

C. Five tequila slammers.

------

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.

B. You both climax simultaneously.

C. You don't miss an NFL Playoff Game.

------

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.

B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.

C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

-----

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

A. The best part of the experience.

B. The second best part of the experience.

C. $100 extra.

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6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.

You tell her that it is:

A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.

B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.

C. A conservative estimate.

------

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth.

B. An oxymoron.

C. A moron.

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8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. An appetizer is to entree.

B. Primer is to paint.

C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

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9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

A. "I hope we can still be friends."

B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."

C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

------

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.

B. Is uptight and a waste of time.

C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

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Evaluating Results: If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.

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If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.

------

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "You da Man!"

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Hugh
Old 12-07-2005, 03:38 PM
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rrpjr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 668
Thanks, Hugh. I'm always guaranteed at least one laugh per OT visit and now I've met my quota.
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1984 RoW Cabriolet - GP White
Old 12-07-2005, 04:01 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,957
This helped my day. Need to pass this around a bit!

JoeA

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2021 Subaru Legacy, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB
Old 12-08-2005, 08:49 AM
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