I'm not even married yet and I know if that happened to me it's automatically my fault... get with the program ;)

I second the 'replace it then claim you fixed it' suggestion. That's brilliant.

Replace it with an old rotary phone with a short cord. Problem solved :)

Inform your wife that you bought it and that gives you the right to forget that she left on the rear bumper of the car. Then ask her if you can demolish anyrthing else for her.

Clearly divorced, or soon to be divorced, or not likely to ever get married, or just plain suicidal.

Lose lose situation. Cut your losses and start making up.

To amek matters worse today, she bought me new running shoes and I wore them fishing today with the kids. My brand new New Balence now have pond mud all over them.

During the shoe baptism, my sone said, "oh Daaaadddd!, Moms gonna kill ya fer git'n your new shoes all muddy!"

"thats Ok, maybe she will forget the phone incident of 12/30"!

So if a man says something and there is no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?

Absolutely... :D

Crack of dawn?

poetic liberty

OK dude, you have got to be an imposter, you cannot be married, or still married. "thats Ok, maybe she will forget the phone incident of 12/30"! Yeh, right!!! Forget something like this??? NEver.

She has much to work with! On any given day, my moronic antics are the topic of converstaion with her mother, or one of her friends - often I am not sure if they are laughing at me or pitying her - most of the time I think it is a vile combination that beer, lack of short term memory and bad hearing can fix.

"Gotta give'm sump'n ta talk about"

I'm always amazed at how easily my wife hands out criticism, but how poorly she takes it. At least I don't have to work for her. :D

It sounds like she keeps you around for entertainment purposes, Mike. Good strategy.

Re: And How Is This My Fault?
 

If that's the only thing that's your fault, according to your wife, then I would consider that a good day, no?!? :eek:

Just kidding...

Lube: your situation is not unlike a wife who asks you, "Do I look fat in this outfit?" Or, "Which shoes look better with this dress?" As a man, you simply cannot answer those questions correctly. As such, you simply cannot debate with Mrs. LubeMaster77 regarding whose fault it is that your phone has been demolished.

However, I do offer to all men out there a way to 'get back' as such situations. About a month ago, Mrs. Z and I were getting ready to go out to a fancy dinner/dance affair. We were running a little behind, and I was draggin my feet getting ready.

She was in the kitchen, and before I entered the kitchen, I asked her, "Do I look fat in this?" Upon rounding the corner, she glanced up at me, and to her dismay, I was stark naked! She and I had a good laugh! And I think I made my point...

-Z-man.

I get blamed if its cloudy outside. Welcome to the burden of man.SmileWavy

She left a phone on the new Ferrari?

Well, Z-Man, since we're telling stories... :D

A buddy of mine told me this story a few years back. It seems he and his wife were arguing about something...can't recall exactly what, but...

According to by buddy, she started in with the , "You're lazy, you never think, you never listen, you forget everything, you break everything, yada, yada, yada...." Something he said he had heard quite often during arguments.

Well, he had had enough so he finally comes up with a line to defend himself....

"Yes honey, you're right! I *all the above*. And it's all these bad traits of mine that kept me from getting a really good wife!" Stopped her right in her tracks, sez he, and she never said anything like that to him again.

It's been a few years since I've seen or heard from him. Hope they're still together! :)

Randy

I bet you ran directly to your computer to write a post about it - very well aware of the fact that all of us would have a good laugh of recognition.

Your fault ??!!

Its like asking if bears crap in the woods.

We'll celebrate(?) our 40th this month. To paraphrase,

'You're right, I'm sorry, how could I have been so insensitve?'

Other tips include:
Lower your expectations
Shorten your memory
Medicate, medicate, medicate.