My mutha-in-law.
 

Don't get me started... Too late.

I have problems. A 13 year old daughter with an unrestrained passion for animals. We have two dogs, four chinchillas and five cats. Of these, one cat (Woodrow), and one dog (Otto), are truly members of the family. The rest are essentially useless. Three of the cats are never allowed in the house, but I dutifully pay for their food and vet bills when thay fall ill.

Just before Christmas, my mother-in-law (http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/witch1.gif) called saying her old cat died. I offered her one of ours but she she declined naturally preferring a kitten. At the http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/witch1.gif's request, my wife found a cute little orange kitten at the local shelter. It was an 11th hour reprieve as the kitty was scheduled to be "Tookified" in a few days. The http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/witch1.gif is thrilled. She'll come by to pick up "Daisy" in two days. Two days pass. No call. No visit. Finally my wife calls. Her mother has "changed her mind". Doesn't want the kitty after all.

There is no way I can return the cat to the pound without breaking my 13 year old daughters heart. Impossible. Now the cat sleeps in my daughters bed under her watchful eye. I'm screwed. Sort of.

The http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/witch1.gifhas a birthday in a few months. I've already started getting her present together. I have a cat collar (heart shaped) engraved with "I belong to Joan. If I'm lost return me to..." with the http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/witch1.gif's address. I plan on finding the nastiest flea-bitten hissing, spitting, piss-spraying cat I can find. A gift from the heart. First time in 24 years I'm looking forward to that womans birthday.

:eek:















ROFLMAO!!!!

Randy

LOL! Just give her the collar w/o the pussy. It sounds like she has a dried-up old one already. :D

What's her email address? I'd love to send her a link to this thread.

If they "ran away" your problems would be solved, but that would be a bit heartless. I say, go right ahead if you are tired of married bliss. You would not necessarily get divorced over something like this, but your bliss levels would be pretty low. Very humorous though, made me laugh out loud it did.

No problem with my wife. Already got the green light. Good woman.

You realize that this might just blow up in your face and you may end up the bad guy...holding an additional kitty...

I think Moses' wife and mine are sisters ...... I am forever asked to change the oil on her broom.

Good laugh, thanks.

L

I know a life coach that can help her!

I know some men puppeteered by both wives and mother-in-laws, who will laugh their asses off at this line. I must borrow it from you, LeRoux. :D

I like my mother in law, it is my wife that has issues with her. Oddly, my wife digs my mom.

Back to your problem. Why not just give her Daisy and say that you know that it was difficult to get over her old cat so your family nurtured this one till she had some time to cope with her loss...and toss in a couple of chinchillas for good measure.

Three Dauchshunds, a yellow Lab, three cats, one of which is handicapped, three kids.....the cats spend the night in the garage sleeping on top of my car....I HAVE to cover my car inSIDE the fuchin' garage.....otherwise cat hair all over the the black convertible top.

Too bad they don't taste like chicken.

No problems with the M-I-L, but her daughter volunteers at an animal shelter and has a need to help unfortunate animals, which is why she married me ;)
That is why we have 4 dogs (all shelter 'saves') 8 cats (ditto) and 4 horses.
Tell you what. Put a collar with no tag on your M-I-L (Is that "witch" spelled with a "B"?) and drop her off at the shelter. No one is gonna adopt her, so in a few weeks, they'll take care of the problem for you.
Hey, you'll miss her when shes gone!
Les

Great read, I love the little witch icons.:D

Where have I heard this before? Ex-wife had 4 cats and would have started a pound if she was allowed to. Friend at old workplace has 9 cats and just adopted a lap dog because it was "so cute" and they were getting ready to gas it at the pound.

Sorry but we cannot save them all and its not our job to feed the critters of the world. One or two is enough...

Joe A

Cris-cross . . .cris-cross . . .

Give her the collar installed on a road kill. Possum would be best.

Any large carnivorous prey animals nearby? Could offer a cougar/wolf/coyote a thing we call treats-on-feets.

Moses, how about this one?

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1136568042.jpg


If you want to really be a jerk, take your daughter and the cat to you muther-in law. Then tell you muther in law she has to drive your daughter to the pound to return the kitten. I will never live within 100 miles of another muther-in-law again.

that is effen funny as hell!!!!!

change your title to DR DOLITTLE!