Are You Really Happy ? - Page 2

juanbenae · juanbenae's Garage

not everyday, but enough to keep me getting up every morning.

Superman · 01-12-2006, 03:08 PM

Some very good advice and observations. Moses is once again quite wise and informative.

I'd add my opinion about mid-life. I know you said something has always seemed missing, but I still want to wax poetic about midlife. That phenomenon called "midlife crisis" or "male menopause" is truly an attention-getting experience. It was quite emotional for me, though I didn't go off dating young chicks or anything like that. My hair changed color (I went blonde). Hair started to grow where it never grew before. My skin tone changed. I am fully convinced that this experience involves hormonal change. It is like a second puberty.

Another thing I would express is my agreement that you need to get away in order to think. In fact, one of the best places to do this is at a "retreat." Catholics do these, and perhaps other faiths. A weekend retreat is typically silent. In other words, you do not speak and neither do the other attendees. At all. In most cases there are services or lectures occasionally where a speaker speaks. To give you something to think about. I am not kidding when I say that by the end of the weekend or three days or four or whatever, you are in a completely different place. Your thinking is MUCH more lucid. You are more relaxed and centered than you can recall ever being. You won't like the idea of getting in your vehicle and going back out in to the real world.

We need quiet. Most of us rarely, if ever, get sufficient periods of quiet. But we NEED to have them. To untie the knots and straighten out the kinks.

If you cannot hear yourself and hear your heart, it is because you and the rest of your environment are not being quiet enough.

Moses · 01-12-2006, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Superman
A weekend retreat is typically silent. In other words, you do not speak and neither do the other attendees. At all.

When Sister Marlena entered the Monastery of Silence, the Abbot said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.” Sister Marlena lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Abbot said to her, “Sister Marlena, you have been here for 5 years you can speak two words.” Sister Marlena said, “Hard bed.” I’m sorry to hear that,” the Abbot said, “We will get you a better bed.” After another 5 years, the Abbot called Sister Marlena into his office. “You may say another two words, Sister Marlena.” “Cold food,” said Sister Marlena. The Abbott assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again called Sister Marlena into his office. “Two words you may say today.” “I quit,” said Sister Marlena. “It is probably best,” said the Abbott, “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here”.

scottmandue · 01-12-2006, 03:39 PM

Now that we have all bared our souls... I'm waiting to hear that this thread was a quote from some movie

scottmandue · 01-12-2006, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Superman
Some very good advice and observations. Moses is once again quite wise and informative.

MOM, Superman is sucking up to Moses... of course he is wise and informative... he's friggin Moses!

Quote:

I'd add my opinion about mid-life. I know you said something has always seemed missing, but I still want to wax poetic about midlife. That phenomenon called "midlife crisis" or "male menopause"
(snip)
I am fully convinced that this experience involves hormonal change. It is like a second puberty.

You said puberty.

Quote:

(snip)

We need quiet. Most of us rarely, if ever, get sufficient periods of quiet. But we NEED to have them. To untie the knots and straighten out the kinks.

If you cannot hear yourself and hear your heart, it is because you and the rest of your environment are not being quiet enough.

Okay I'm going to be serious here for a moment, I absolutely agree with you on this one Sup.
It saddens me that so many of my friends are running themselves into the ground because they think they have to be entertained every waking second. I am a Christian and have considered one of those retreats you spoke of however that might not work for everyone. I often schedule a week on the central coast of Calif. at a small hotel on the beach. My friends are befuddled, "But Scott, there is nothing to DO there!". Even the people at the hotel are surprised " Your staying here... for a week?"
I live alone in a quite neighborhood so I can actually sit in my living room and meditate. It is amazing how many people look like they would explode if they had to sit still for five minutes.

BTW How do you spell the cure for mid life crisis... Porsche

Oh Haha · 01-12-2006, 04:34 PM

Livi
I am 38, have been through a divorce, moved 80 miles just to keep a decent paying job. Am I happy? You bet!!!!!! I have a great wife and son with a daughter on the way. I make ok money for our area, we have a decent but not fancy house with a big backyard. I have been depressed when going through my divorce. I have a fairly stressful job but of course nothing like what you do nor do I have the education that your career required. I get a lot of time by myself while in the car. I sometimes need to remind myself what it used to be like about 10 years ago. I agree with the others here. Take some time for yourself and really think about what you have. I took my 911 out for a drive today and I am happy and grateful that I have the car but more importantly a wife that understands me. Don't know if this helps but I feel better now.

azasadny · azasadny's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Rodeo
You're not supposed to be happy. You're supposed to pursue happiness. If you're happy for more than a week at a time, look around -- you may be in the afterlife

Yep!!! My thoughts exactly!

on-ramp · 01-12-2006, 04:52 PM

If you're not happy, i suggest you find a way to get there, because life is short and death is forever.

Rodeo · 01-12-2006, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by on-ramp
If you're not happy, i suggest you find a way to get there, because life is short and death is forever.

Are you a high school guidance counselor?

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

This is one of those threads that makes me think of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". I always try to keep that poem in mind to see if I will end up old, wondering where another path would have led me. Most days I think back to where I was exactly one year ago to the day and see where I've gotten, what I've accomplished since then.

A year ago today I was in China, which was a lifelong dream come true and huge goal for personal growth reasons. I remember when running a marathon seemd super human and now I have seven under my belt (PR is 3:40) and I'm too lazy to jog a mile anymore. I've had a loose checklist of things to see and do before I die or get to old and, at the tender age of 34, I've checked a LOT of them off. So yes, I am happy. The only time I get really unhappy is when I don't have that next goal to look forward to. I'm in a bit of a grey area at the moment, as I know things are going to get heavy in about another year and wonder what to do in the meantime. But I have another trip to China coming up in May, got a pretty good raise yesterday, an hour after that got a call for an interview in Phoenix, where I want to move and I haven't had the slightest urge for a smoke in several days. My gf is such a doll, I feel undeserving. So I guess it could be worse. Also got a call today that my SIG P229 will be back from refinishing tomorrow. About to head to band practice tonight, doing a practical shoot next week, blah, blah. So I also have some small pleasures to hold me over between the big feats.

jtkkz · 01-12-2006, 05:27 PM

Read this book online, it may help answer some questions

http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/samplechapters/index.aspx

on-ramp · 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jtkkz
Read this book online, it may help answer some questions

http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/samplechapters/index.aspx

so what if you don't believe in God, then you don't have a purpose? right...

yeah, i read some of that "The Purpose Driven Bull$****".

At the end they tell you to say a prayer and accept Jesus into your life and then they tell you about their website where they try to sell you more crap. how devine!

btw, the author of that book must be some special human being, because he sure has got it all figured it out when it comes to God. amazing..

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

attachment bad. makes you miserable.

http://www.shambhala.com/html/learn/features/buddhism/basics/attachment.cfm

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/shenpa3a.php

widgeon13 · 01-12-2006, 06:50 PM

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
[info][add][mail]
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

This is what Emerson had to say about "Success" but I have often thought it related to happiness as well.

Instrument 41 · 01-12-2006, 07:23 PM

I have found that when I focus on myself I get unhappy or more over restless, bored, malcontent. For me I am most content when serving others. Putting other concerns and wellbeing before mine. I guess one needs to get down to basic questions like..What is my purpose in life? For me its being a good husband and dad to my 2 boys. honoring my parents and older relatives. Its being satisfied with my station in life but continuing to pursue better things.

911teo · 01-12-2006, 08:34 PM

Markus

you need to find yourself... You are not defined by what you do, what you own, who you know. You are more than that.

You are not a doctor... You are Markus. Markus happens to excell at medicine so that is what Markus does. Not what Markus is...

Find yourself and you'll get the keys to happiness.

As people said before sometimes is the journey itself that makes us happy...

For example my goals have changed as I went through life... Now I want to be a father who's always going to be there... for my girls and for myself... I want to be there on their first day at school, on their first ballet, when they get married, when they have their first baby...
I am looking forward to grow old with my wife. 10 years ago I had other goals... whether I reach them or not does not make any difference... I tried to stay true to myslef so that every morning looking in the mirror I was at peace with myself...

Money and possessions are not important... I was happy 4 years ago when we struggled to get to the end of the month...

aways · 01-12-2006, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by livi
Philosophy Corner:

I am healthy. I have four wonderful kids and a beautiful spouse. Rich, close relations with my parents and brothers. Pretty fantastic medical career so far. Medical patent holder with a load of money expected to pour in soon. Author of medical books for parents. Driving a legend.

Obviously fertile and not to harsh on the eyes, according to women.

All this and just turning forty (next week).

But am I happy ?

No. Something is missing. Been missing for as long as I can remember.

Try this book... "Happiness is a serious problem":
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060987359/102-1972883-8547314?v=glance&n=283155

coldstart · 01-12-2006, 08:53 PM

For me, my life lately has hit a downturn (career, girl friend, family, friends, finances AND my P-car is in pieces) and I have been really glum which has been making it worse. It has really hurt my confidence.

I have been trying to get away to sort it all out. However, in the end I believe that it is the struggle and striving for a goal that makes the outcome that much sweeter. Just because you hit an unhappy point doesn't mean that you should unravel the best parts of your life. Stick it out.

aways · 01-12-2006, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by on-ramp
so what if you don't believe in God, then you don't have a purpose? right...

yeah, i read some of that "The Purpose Driven Bull$****".

At the end they tell you to say a prayer and accept Jesus into your life and then they tell you about their website where they try to sell you more crap. how devine!

btw, the author of that book must be some special human being, because he sure has got it all figured it out when it comes to God. amazing..

you sound like a happy guy!

WOODPIE · 01-12-2006, 09:46 PM

Who's got time to worry about that?

A person has to be in a helluva great place to be able to find the spare moment to consider their own happiness, or bellybutton, or whatever. Some here suggest you invest some of your spare time, that you are not happy in, to go on a retreat to contemplate and meditate your dissatisfaction.

Bullcrap. Get busy. Occupy yourself. Quit twidling those thumbs, wringing your hands and knashing your teeth about your unfulfilled life, and fill it with something.

Not happy? Phhttt.....This too shall pass, buddy, not to worry.

Ed