Installing a wireless security system
 

How to install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr. Don't disturb the pit bulls. They've just been wormed and they are a little edgy."

Awesome, funny one. Maybe include that the note is on a used paper target with a nice tight grouping.

Actually since my father passed away and my mom lives out in the boonies she keeps an old pair of his size 12's on the front porch just to make everyone think twice.