ya got me thinking, so let's all sing along
 

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks
And the black folks hate the white folks
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule

But during National-Brotherhood-Week
National-Brotherhood-Week
Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark
Are dancing cheek to cheek
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don't let 'em in your school

Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks
And the rich folks hate the poor folks
All of my folks hate all of your folks
It's American as apple pie

But during National-Brotherhood-Week
National-Brotherhood-Week
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans
'Cause it's very chic
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand
You can tolerate him if you try

Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants
And the Hindus hate the Moslems
And everybody hates the Jews

But during National-Brotherhood-Week
National-Brotherhood-Week
It's National Everyone-Smile-At-
One-Another-hood Week
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you
It's only for a week, so have no fear
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

Tom Lehrer

National Brotherhood Week

Personally, I prefer "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park".

Updated for us:

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks
And the black folks hate the white folks
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule

But during Ultimate-Pelican-meet
Ultimate-Pelican-meet
Cool Chick and Fintstone
Were dining cheek to cheek
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don't let 'em in your pool

Oh, the gun folks hate the pussy folks
And the pussy folks hate the gun folks
All of my folks hate all of your folks
It's American as apple pie

But during Ultimate-Pelican-meet
Ultimate-Pelican-meet
Tabs loved Nostatic
'Cause it's very chic
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand
You can tolerate him if you try

Oh, the Democrats hate the Republicans
And the Republicans hate the Democrats
And the Neo-cons hate the Liberals
And everybody hates the French

But during Ultimate-Pelican-meet
Ultimate-Pelican-meet
It's Ultimate Everyone-hug-A-
Another-one meet
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you
It's only for a weekend, so have no fear
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

Red-beard

I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Let our love be a flame, not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember.
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

At your command
Before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand...
Yeech!
It's here that I must be.

My heart entreats,
Just hear those savage beats,
And go put on your cleats
And come and trample me.

Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany,
That's why I'm in such exquisite agony.
My soul is on fire,
It's aflame with desire,
Which is why I perspire when we tango.

You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love,
I can feel the pain yet, love,
Ev'ry time I hear drums.

And I envy the rose
That you held in your teeth, love,
With the thorns underneath, love,
Sticking into your gums.

Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches.
The last time I needed twenty stitches
To sew up the gash
That you made with your lash,
As we danced to the Masochism Tango.

Bash in my brain,
And make me scream with pain,
Then kick me once again,
And say we'll never part.

I know too well
I'm underneath your spell,
So, darling, if you smell
Something burning, it's my heart... [hiccup]
'Scuse me!

Take your cigarette from its holder,
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine,
And swear that you're mine,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Allllll-thhhhe world seems in tune, on a spring afternoon,
while we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Maybe we'll do in a, squirrel or two
while we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
We’ll murder them all with our laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment….

Our pulse will be quicknin
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon
It only takes a smidgen
To poison a pigeon in the park!

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playing it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!

Shaddap You Face
(verse)
When I was a boy, just about-a eighth-a grade,
mama used to say, don't-a stay out late,
with the bad-a boys, always shoot-a pool,
gonna flunk-a school.
Boy, it make-a me sick, all the things I gotta do.
can't-a getta no kicks, always gotta follow rules,
boy, it make-a me sick, just-a make a lousy bucks,
I gotta feel like a fool. (and mama used to say:)
(chorus)
What'sa matta you, hey,
Gotta no respect, whatta you think you do,
Why you looka so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place,
Ah, Shaddap You Face.
(verse)
Soon-a come-a day, gonna be-a big-a star,
Gonna make a movies, buy a nice-a car,
but still-a be myself, I'm-a never change a thing,
always dance and sing. ('cause I remember mama used to say:)
(chorus)
What'sa matta you, hey,
Gotta no respect, whatta you think you do,
Why you looka so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place,
Ah, Shaddap You Face.
(talking section)
"Hello, everybody, that's out there in radio and television land.
Did you know I had a bit hit song in Italy with this: 'Shaddap You Face'?
I sing this song and all my fans applaud, they clap their hands, that make me feel so good.
You ought to learn this song, It's really simple -
I sing: 'Whatsa Matta You?" You sing: 'Hey!"
, you sing the rest and at the end, we can all sing 'Ah, shaddap You Face!'
Ok Let's try it, really big -
Uno, Duo, Tre, Quatro:"
(chorus)
What'sa matta you, hey,
Gotta no respect, whatta you think you do,
Why you looka so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place,
Ah, Shaddap You Face.

When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve
Who is it that always intervenes
U.N. and O.A.S.
They have their place, I guess
But first send the Marines

We'll send them all we've got
John Wayne and Randolph Scott
Remember those exciting fighting scenes
To the shores of Tripoli
But not to Mississippoli
What do we do, we send the Marines

For might makes right
And 'til they've seen the light
They've got to be protected
All their rights respected
Till somebody we like can be elected

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means
Stop calling it aggression
We hate that expression
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo
They love us everywhere we go
So when in doubt, send the Marines

*** I like Chinese
*** from Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album
*** transcribed from tape 11/16/87 Daniel Rich <drich@research1.bgsu.edu>

(spoken)
The world today is absolutely cracked.
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...

(singing)
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today,
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.

I like chinese food,
The waiters never are rude,
Think the many things they've done to impress,
There's maoism, taoism, eging and chess.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their ying and yang-eze.

I like chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confusious taught,
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The chinese will survive us all without any doubt.

So, I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please

Wo ai Zhong-guo ren [Wo, I chumba run]
Wo ai Zhong-guo ren
Wo ai Zhong-guo ren
Ni Hao Ma? Ni Hao Ma? Ni Hao Ma? Zai zhen [Ne hamma? ... Chi Chen]

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They're food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and li-chese

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
(fade out....)

Kudos to the first person who can tell us where the inspiration for this famous birds song came from:

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it's not too late!

A time for everything (under heaven) is a direct quote from Ecclesiastes, depending on your translation.

damn, beat me

Bingo, iffn I remember right, it's eccl 3:1 through 8

I listened to that song for years, then one day i was reading the old testiment and there it was:

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

I have a personal take on the meaning, it may be right or it may be wrong but it means something to me:
For us to enjoy the good times there must be bad times.
We cannot find pleasure without pain.
We cannot see beauty without ugliness.
we can't have life without death.

Whenever I catch myself wondering why god allows so much pain and suffering, this helps me understand. For every horrible thing we experience, we also are rewarded with great pleasure and rewards.
He knows that it must happen but he is there to help us deal with the bad things in life if we ask.

Religious Disclaimer:
this is what i believe to be true but I am not trying to convince anyone else to believe as I do. you are all free to think what you want just as I am. I will not try to change your mind or tell you that you are wrong because you do not agree with me, please show me the same courtesy.
Thanks.

We all need our own messages of faith and hope. Well said, and may your lord bless you

I owe a lot to Iowa pot
Iowa grown and grand..

I never knew such beautiful boo
grew in this groovy land I'm in
and I'm
indebtted indeed to wonderful weed
Iowa bred and born...
Oh, I owe a lot to Iowa pot
and that's not just Iowa corn....

Contrbaned in the land of Manyana
it's incredibly risky to cop
but the Iowans cop all they wanta
campin on a
marajuana crop

So just keep your Columbian ripoff
and your shady Canadian seed
for I'd sooner be singing my lip off
on that great, straight Iowa weed!

(reprise)..I owe a lot...

This was in an e-mail I got this morning. True words, sometimes I feel like i'm in too much of a hurry to die to take time to live.

SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

And, from the Austin Lounge Lizards:
"Momma don't allow no above-ground nuclear testin' 'round here
Momma don't allow no above-ground nuclear testin' 'round here
We don't care what Momma don't allow.... (KABOOM)"

Or, a similar vein, from the 60s, The Smothers Brothers:
"Oh the Slithery Dee, He crawled out of the sea
He may catch all the others, but he won't catch me
No he won't catch me, stupid old Slithery Dee
He may catch all the others but he...
(CHOMP gobble gulp)

(Great 6-beer songs)
Les

First we got the bomb, and that was good
'Cause we love peace and motherhood
Then Russia got the bomb, but that's okay
'Cause the balance of power's maintained that way
Who's next

France got the bomb, but don't you grieve
'Cause they're on our side, I believe
China got the bomb, but have no fears
They can't wipe us out for at least five years
Who's next


Then Indonesia claimed that they
Were gonna get one any day
South Africa wants two, that's right
One for the black and one for the white
Who's next

Egypt's gonna get one too
Just to use on you know who
So Israel's getting tense
Wants one in self defense
"The Lord's our shepherd," says the psalm
But just in case, we better get a bomb
Who's next

Luxembourg is next to go
And, who knows, maybe Monaco
We'll try to stay serene and calm
When Alabama gets the bomb
Who's next, who's next, who's next, who's next

- Tom Lehrer
Who's next?

Guys,

Its dark in Hong Kong right now. Believe its time for a margarita.

Red, not you, you are married to Margarita. You need a shot of tequila, then a margarita! :)

Joe