So Whay the Heck Do I get So Wound-Up Before, During and After My Boys Soccer Games?
 

Maybe it is self projection or something about how I played in college and want him to do better than me - but I get so wound up that I am having a tough time enjoying just watching him play. This is a new season for him - last 3 seasons he played for a team that was grooming to be a traveling tour team so maybe that mentality crept in and never left.

I want to relax and just watch and enjoy but I actually get anxoius before and during these games and find myself thinking about it afterwards - I know, it is pretty F'n shallow and frankly I am embaressed about how I feel. Any words of advice?

Would your son like it best if you "get anxoius before and during these games and find [your]self thinking about it afterwards"?

--OR--

Would he like it best if you showed up because you want to share your son's enjoyment of the sport, no matter how he plays?

I had the same problem. My son was a gifted athlete...I was pretty good when young, but he was much better. I am very competitive and even coached some of his teams. After a few years of my "help"...he enjoyed sports so little that hated to play and was never any good. Be careful.

You could play ice hockey with your 911...

Ohhhh.Lubby its because your one serious whacko....get a grip man...and stop wetting your shorts...your living vicariouly through your son...his success is your success...it maybe called paternal pride...

He puts out 100%+ - thats the way he is bilt. Tonite for instance, he played the whole game - viasibly tired come 3rd Q. The coach was short of players and asked him if he would like to sit out the 4th. They were behind big which is rare. He looked him straight in the eye and said "Coach, I'm good. I want to stay in." I asked him if he was OK and he told me " Dad, I'm good for this, I need some water but I know what I gotta do. We can get these guys dad, I know we can...what do they have like 5 on us?" "More like 8 buddy". " Geeze dad, we can do betta..."

The kid was real tired but the coach played him the 4th - as the quarter started he barked orders at his team mates and worked the field like a pack mule. One kid from the other team had great skills and juked my boy twice on D and scored. Each time he told the coach "Coach! That was me." Finally I yelled from the sides to "Rush him buddy! He comes at you don't wait, go for him and clear the ball!" He nodded at me and wouldn't you know, the kid tried to strike 3 more times and my boy cleared each. Each time he stopped the strike he looked over and smiled. He has more than enough heart with slighly above average skills. He is the type that would run through a brick wall. He gets that from his Mom.

I just gotta figuer out how to just relax and savor the days...

we started play'n full contact hoops in my driveway as the wives drank and the kids played - of the 6, 3 blew out knees and 2 with back issues. I hear what you are saying and actually I would relish the chance to mix it up. Prehaps next year I will look into a 35+ soccer league - my knees will hate me for it!

My wife says I should push down a few belts prior to a games to mellow my arse out. I just want to watch like it is the last time I ever will.

know that for sure - he is like me in looks and the way he thinks as well as a host of all kinds of other stuff. Difficult not to project.

valium. lots of it.

or get drunk, beligerant, and assault a referee. Go to jail and have him and mom come bail you out. That might cure it :p

As above.

Hit that SOB ref with a whiskey bottle. That will learn his ass.

Im suddenly reminded of Emilio Estevez's character in the Breakfast Club describing his father for some odd reason

NOW YOUR TALKIN>>>>my kind of language...hit the fker I say...

just make sure its an empty whiskey bottle. no sense wasting good booze...

Naturally that goes weithout saying...

He's in Dallas. It had better be Bourbon

It's tempting to overreact to your kids sports experience. I've got three playing and I love watching them. I think you need to step back and look at the big picture. I've known a few kids that peaked in high school because of sports. Great athletes, nice people, but lost out on what exactly they were trying to accomplish. Didn't go to college, ended up working jobs after graduating that they are still at. Is your son that good that he can plan on making it his life's work? If he is, these opportunities will find him. If not, he will learn the value of teamwork, make lifetime friends, and maybe get a scholarship out of it. Sit back and enjoy the ride.:)

One word: RUGBY!

Absolutely! Your quandry is normal and to be expected.

I also think, based on my experiences both as a former jock and father of two good little atheletes, that how you handle the public side of his sports endeavors is most important.

I was lucky: my parents were supportive but not intrusive and never, not once, embarassed me by their behavior at games they attended. While difficult at times, I have managed the same tight-rope act.

Many of my friends were not so fortunate...we all know the type of parental "projecting" I'm talking about. My best friend growing up (I played LL and HS baseball with this guy for almost 7 years) was constaintly mortified by his MOTHERS actions...

89911's advice remains ever current: Sit back and enjoy THEIR ride...

oooo...I don't wanna be that guy, but didn't Emilio finally get laid by that freaky chick?

Good point though - time to smell the roses instead of worrting about the bugs and thorns.