Time for hospice...

[azasadny]

Unfortunately, many of you are aware of the situation our family is in right now, and it's taken a sudden turn for the worse. My grandfather (Stan) is dying from Emphysema and the Dr has done everything he can, it's "palliative care only" from this point on. We have Stan living with us in our home and we have been in/out of the hospital with him multiple times recently and now we're just trying to keep him comfortable and calm during this. We spend as much time as we can with Stan, but we're contacting the local hospice to see if they can help us a little. We're working with my grandfather to get his financial affairs straightened out and ensure that his will is carried out after he's gone.

Stan is a tough man, but he's tired of fighting and the shortness of breath he experiences has now gotten him to the point where he knows he can't get better and he's ready to go... This is a very difficult experience, but we're determined to make the best of it and show Stan the love, respect and dignity he deserves. He still has his sense of humor and he's 100% lucid and aware of everything. It's hard to see my grandfather go through this, but we're doing the best we can and taking each day as it comes.

To those of you who have sent supportive notes, I really appreciate it. You folks are a big help to me in much more then "technical" ways. We have a rough patch ahead, but we will make it through and I'll think about Stan every time I drive my 911 as he loves the car almost as much as I do!

[Neilk]

Sorry to hear that.

I remember your excitement in telling us the great stories Stan has been able to share with you. I am bad with words, but my thoughts are with you and your family.

[masraum]

I've been without my father for almost 2 years now. My thoughts are with you.

[rcecale]

Art,

You and your family are in my prayers every night and have been for a while now.

Strength to you, brother!

Semper fi!

Randy

[TerryH]

Hey Art,
I'm so sorry to hear of your granddads illness. I know what you're going through as I watched my father succumb to emphysema. My dad was a goer and a doer and this disease pretty much robbed him of anything that resembled his real life. I think he hung on mostly for mom who at the end developed lung cancer that had spread. They died within 3 months of each other in 2001. He was 81 and she was 79.

Your grandfather is very lucky to have such a loving family to support him through such a difficult time. My thoughts are with you and yours.

PS.. my dads name was Art.

[Oh Haha]

Hey Art,
Sorry to hear about the downturn with Stan AKA Grandpa.
This is a tough time for the family. I lost my Dad to COPD and emphysema two years ago. I miss my Dad alot.
You have taken on a great responsibility in caring for him and I wish you and your family prayers and strength. He sounds like he was a good man and lived life to the fullest.

[pwd72s]

Both of my parents are gone. This is a tough time for you as it is for everyone who has gone through it. But we do go through it...because we must. Art, my best wishes for you and Stan....

[oldE]

Art,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
It is the things that make them special to us that also makes it hurt.
Les

[VINMAN]

Art, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what you are going through. 3 years ago, I watched my first wife and my brother slowly die from cancer.
Lost them both a few weeks apart. It sucks when you have to sit by totally helpless. My brother was one of my heros who I thought was the toughest guy in the world. It destroyed me watching him waste away.

Just hang in there bro.

Vinny

[azasadny]

Thanks for all of the kind words, wishes and prayers! We're doing the best we can and Stan's doctors have been very supportive, it's just a difficult process... You folks are incredible and provide alot of support to others, including myself, and I just wanted to let you know that the support I receive from you means a great deal to us!

[azasadny]

We had our appt. with the hospice representative at the hospital this afternoon. She explained what hospice is and that we are going to make Stan comfortable and keep him pain-free, but no more "active treatment" for his cancer and emphysema. Stan understood and said he was ready and just wanted to come home (our house) tomorrow AM. After she left, Stan asked me what he should do with his car... pretty sad moment because it was the first time he acknowledged that he'll never drive his car again. That was his way of letting me know that he understood the situation. We moved furniture and setup his chair in the dining room and prepared the kids. Stan will come home tomorrow and we'll do our best to keep him comfortable and happy. I find myself getting very sad at times and happy at others when I realize that soon Stan won't be suffering any more...

[Oh Haha]

Art,
You will never regret what you are doing for Stan. He will leave this world knowing that his family thought the world of him. I'm not very religious but I belive that we will meet up with our loved ones when we pass. If you too believe this,know in your heart that he will be waiting to see you again someday. The heartache will fade but your memories( and ours through your stories) will live on. Take care.

[tabs]

Its like watching the Titanic sink...bit by bit....never knowing what the next corner or downturn will bring. After its over U feel like you have hit bottom, no more suffering for Stan and no more worry for you. .

I would just tell Stan how much U love him and how much he means to you. Thats all yu can really do except to hold his hand, to let him know that you are with him.

[nostatic]

My mom suffered from Parkinsons then Leukemia at the end. She went into the hospital after taking a serious bad turn, and to Kaiser's credit, they handled everything with grace and sensitivity. They sent a hospital bed to my parents house, sent her home with plenty of meds and a nurse that checked in a couple times a day. Thankfully she went quickly (within a few days), but being able to pass at home made things much more dignified.

No feeling is final. This too shall pass. You're doing the right thing, as painful as it is...

[Superman]

You will be in my prayers, Art. Sometimes the right thing seems to be the tougher path, but it's really not, in the long run. You are doing the right thing, for him and for you and your family.

Say all the stuff you want to say. Now.

And finally, those hospice people are ANGELS. He will be comfortable.

[azasadny]

Guys,

Thank you so much for the kind words and understanding what we're going through. I saw a quote today that made me think. "Death isn't the opposite of life, it's the opposite of birth". We see Stan's death as a part of life, albeit a very sad part for us... We believe that we will be together again and that gives us strength (please, no anti-Christian diatribes as they won't work... we have a very strong faith). I'm thankful that others understand what we're going through and I'm sorry that some of you have been through this, it's not a very pleasant thing. We will take things as they happen and continue to let Stan know how much he means to us. Thanks again for the support, you guys are great!!

[12own911]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[kach22i]

Art, my only grandmother went into a home last month because of alzheimer's.

Hang in there, life is a very funny thing - take nothing for granted.

[azasadny]

Today was the first day that hospice reps visited. A caregiver gave Stan a bedbath and the social worker met with my wife (Beth). So far, so good. Stan is resting comfortably and sleeping most of the time. DirecTV has a music channel that features music from the '40's, so I'll set up the speakers for him this PM, he may enjoy that.

[azasadny]

Here's a picture of Stan as he is today. We had the family over and everyone had a nice visit with him. He's slipping fast, so I wanted the family to see him and talk to him while they can. He's tired...

He's holding my niece...