Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Schopenhauer and Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

One of my favorites I learned in Sweden many years ago...spelling, of course may be off.

"Min skol, din skol, al avecka flika skol"

Which I'm told ? means "Here's to you, here's to me, here's to all the pretty ladies".

Mebbe one of you Swedes can correct my mistakes.

From my bro while living in Munster Germany

"Drink up, you'll be a long time dead".

May the bleeding piles torment you,
may corns grow on your feet.
May crabs big as cockroaches crawl round your balls & eat.
When all your friends have forsaken you,
and your life's a f**cking wreck,
may you fall thru your arsehole,
and break your f**cking neck.

Here's to partying like rock stars,
Spending money like movie stars,
and fuc(*ing like porn stars.

Gentlemen! To evil!

Faster Cars
Older Whiskey
Younger Women
and More Money

When overseas with a bunch of drunk Japonese, they taught us some, can't remember those, but they laughed everytime we tried to say them, so we taught them this:

"Here's mud in your twat!"

I'll bet they are still using it!

Typically I use

"Salud"

or

"Sante"

Here's a toast to your enemies' enemies!

Here's to our wives and girlfriends. May they never meet.

Here's to swimmin with bow-legged wimmin!