Adoption and nature vs nurture

cantdrv55 · 06-07-2006, 05:50 PM

We considered adoption when we realized our son was going to be an only child. But with adoption though, you'd never know what you're going to get. Will the kid turn out to be like us or like his/her biological parents? Has there been a study focusing on adopted kids and nature vs nurture?

artplumber · 06-07-2006, 06:12 PM

Lot's of data out there. Tendencies exist, but unless they are absolutely profound (eg/Schizophrenia) the child will probably end up more like you than the biological parents. Remember the old adage about people that have been together looking like each other? Shared experiences and emotion.
Frankly, the judicial system is much too focused on biology. The twin studies are unique and don't really apply IMO.

coloradoporsche · 07:18 PM

QUOTE]you'd never know what you're going to get[/QUOTE]

Ahh...but the same is true for biological children. Ever heard of Down's syndrome? How about birth defects, childhood cancer, etc. The list is endless. Are you expecting your genetic offspring to be perfect in some way?

I adopted a kid a year ago and the experience has been awesome. Let go of your fears and go for it!

bigchillcar · bigchillcar's Garage

+1...children need parents, period. biological or not.
ryan

stevepaa · 06-07-2006, 08:59 PM

A little of both but more nature from my experience and our friends who have 3 adopted children. Some children bring with them unforseen inherent disabilities and some are so extraordinary that you wonder what their parents must have been like.
If you are not willing to accept the former, do not adopt.

M.D. Holloway · 06-07-2006, 09:48 PM

And then you have kids that are nothing alike - our two rascals are from our blood yet from completely different worlds heck except for a faded resemblance they couldn't be more different.

You have a good heart.

livi · 06-08-2006, 06:07 AM

Glad you asked! This was one of my favorite subjects during University. A lot of adoption - and twin studies.

Short answer: Biology makes up for a large portion of the variance, not least with many personality traits.

Rot 911 · 06-08-2006, 06:14 AM

We got our little girl when she was two and we were foster parents. Her mother was a drug user and liked to party all night and ignore her kids. Thought we would only have her for a couple of months while her mother straightened out. She never did. We adopted her last October and she turns 6 next year. The night we got her we almost took her back. It was "fuk this, fuk that", throwing things, tearing things up. Talked like she was a 25 year old crack hoe.

Yesterday her and I were driving along and she is in the back seat singing like she normally does. Usually some boy or girl band teenage songs. Except this time it is "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." Something funny about hearing that song come out of the mouth of a 6 year old black girl. So I would say nurture has overcome nature.

A picture:

KFC911 · 08:19 AM

That's a very inspiring story Kurt....good for you! ....and I am seeing a resemblance after only 4 years... you both look 'happy as can be"

NICKG · 06-08-2006, 06:27 AM

my wife and I are having trouble having a child of our own, how hard is it to adopt? income requirements?

cstreit · cstreit's Garage

I'd suspect their are some traits that are genetic... Though none of these are 100% I'm sure nor are they necessarily carried through, but things like mental accuity, temper, emotional response, etc... I could see being somewhat genetically predisposed. That said I also believe that we are masters of our own behavior and that your environment and upbringing has more to do with it than anyone else.

No studies but we've all known that person that was entirely different after seeing them 15 years later, the kid who had that "bad phase" and children who couldn't be any different from their parents...

livi · 06-08-2006, 06:46 AM

Kurt,

I agree in the sense that a child will to a certain degree adopt /copy /learn a behavioral pattern, rules and social manners according to the nearest family members.

When I say biology have a strong impact on the variance, I refer to a somewhat deeper level of personality traits. The immediate environment will of course be able to modulate and 'shape' the 'original settings'.

This is in fact a very intricate and difficult subject with a lot of diverging study results that need a subtle hand when interpreting the outcome. Confounding factors are abundant, to say the least!

85eurocarrera · 85eurocarrera's Garage

NICKG,
lots of options. Check your local agencies and adoption web pages. Just like buying a car, check out a few different agencies to get a feel for what you are comfortable with. Costs depends on programs and such. Ours was around 15,000 when it was all said and done. Income level not a big deal

We adopted a year ago through a domestic open adoption program. That is, we have a relationship with the birth parents of our daughter and have semi frequent contact. Seems wierd to some who are not farmiliar with it, we did too, but it is an amazing relationship.

Good Luck! Love your wife and have faith things will work out, because they will!

Joe

Rot 911 · 06-08-2006, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 85eurocarrera
Ours was around 15,000 when it was all said and done. Income level not a big deal
Joe

Or adopt a black child. No one wants them. So the state will actually pay you to adopt. It's sad, but true.

bigchillcar · bigchillcar's Garage

kurt..you're a helluva guy..a real 'step up to the plate' kind of person. big-time kudos to you. i already liked you, but my estimation of ya has just increased light years. plus you've got a really cool willys wagon.

ryan

VaSteve · 06-08-2006, 09:09 AM

I don't understand why people who want kids but can't have their own bilogical kids won't consider adoption. To me it doesn't make any sense. Not that this is the case here, but does anyone have insight into this?

M.D. Holloway · 06-08-2006, 09:13 AM

KurtV - your a good man. Now, seeing white folk with black kids I will think "now there is a family, the kid maybe a fosterkid from a busted home now adopted and given a new lease, plenty of love and a future". It will make me feel good to see. Thanks dude.

Moses · 06-08-2006, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kurt V
Or adopt a black child.

You did more than that. You saved a little girls life.

Tobra · Tobra's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by VaSteve
I don't understand why people who want kids but can't have their own bilogical kids won't consider adoption. To me it doesn't make any sense. Not that this is the case here, but does anyone have insight into this?

One reason is that you never know what the birth mother was doing when she was pregnant. Very good possibility she was a boozer or druggie, would not want a crack baby myself, seen how they tend to be. I suspect that some just don't want to raise "someone else's" child, only their own.

Obviously there is a risk of birth defects or some other misadventure during child birth, but that is apples to oranges for most folks.

Adopting a child involves a significant amount of emotion, people often don't make rational choices when this is the case, or said another way, don't try to make sense of it.

Rot 911 · 06-08-2006, 12:23 PM

Guys don't think I'm some Mother Teresa, I'm not. Of course most of you know that. And don't forget there is great fun to be had being a multi-cultural family. For example, the other day my wife, daughter and me were at a restaurant. The waitress looks at Kyah then at me and says "Oh, when did you adopt your little girl?" I looked at her and said "What are you talking about?" Then I looked at my wife and asked "Is there something here I need to know about?"