My Dumb@$$ Friend
 

So...I check the mail today and in it is a letter for Robert G. Pappalardo (name not changed) c/o [my name] at my address.

It's a collection letter for a student loan. Seems Bob is WAY overdue on his payments. I'm also guessing as a delaying tactic, he gave them my name/address to throw them off.

I immediately call the collection agency and tell them Bob does not live here, he never has, nor am I in any way responsible for his (many) screw-ups. They assure me that they found Bob's real address last week (a day after the letter was sent) and they are on him. I believe collection agencies about as much as used car dealers and whores.

Last I checked, Bob was a loan officer for some shady re-fi company in Florida...I'm wondering what he may have done to my credit rating. He called me last week, but I've stopped taking his calls.

What are my options if he has done more than just given a collection agency my name/address. What bull**** should I look forward too?

they'd need your social......if he did that he is in no way your friend.

I've certainly have never given it to him...but I worry that in he may have abused the information he has (or had...he never could keep a job for long) access to and got a hold of it through other means.

I haven't considered him a friend since high school. Actively telling him to f*** off just made him come around more often....ignoring him seems to be the path of least resistence. I still have the wedding gift check he gave to me that bounced pinned to my bulletin board...

One thing, is that you send a collection agency a letter, return reciept with the whole story, including his actual whereabouts. Definitely indicate he never lived with you.

If memory serves me correct, what will happen next is that he will be deemed "uncollectable" meaning, the collection agency can now go to court to nail him.

Attempt to skip out, or specifically telling the collection agency to "stop calling" gives them the right to escalate to legal action.

I wouldn't worry about the credit thing, the collection agency is doing a big no no and they can get seriously sued for that.

rjp

Invite him over to hammer things out. Sit down, and calmly discuss what he needs to do to make things right. Ensure that he can see that the safety is off on the Colt 1911 pointed at his head.

While not a bad idea, he has no money and lives in Florida....and I really don't like to have him around.

Are there any places where I can get a free credit report that do not require me to sign up for some credit monitoring service?

check with one of your credit card companies, i have gotten free credit checks from a few of mine.

The integrity level of used car dealers is nowhere near as high as that of whores. Whole different ball game, so to speak.

Pay for full credit reports from all 3 agencies. They will all have different information and you need to verify all accounts are yours. Temporarily put a stop/verify on your credit. That forces the agencies to contact you before anyone gets into your file for any reason - whether to check your r\ating or to open a new account. It's a pain in the ass, but worth it to protect your rating.

https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp

This gives you all data on your report (from all 3 companies), minus your credit score. It's free, but you can opt to pay more to see your credit score.

Thanks.

Everything checked out fine.

If it didn't, I would have flown down to Florida and beat some ass.

Funny thing is, I'd probably be charged with assault for beating the guy trying to rob me....;)

a good friend called and asked me to take a look at a car he was going to buy. this was a used car at a dealer. i walked in and the salemans said, "hey you're here!, now we can finish the paperwork." WTF? apparently, my buddy told them i was going to co-sign. i laughed my ass off, and watched the dumbass sign up for a high risk loan at something around 22% interest. this was for a $14k honda delsol. karma beotch slapped him hard, the car was stolen 5 months later.

legion, glad everything turn out ok.

So I have continued to refuse to take Bob's calls for the past two years because of this incident (and the fact that the check he wrote me as a wedding gift bounced).

I have all of his phone numbers in my caller ID, and if I see one, I don't answer the phone. I don't take any phone calls from unknown phone numbers in the 630 area code either--he has tried to call me from his work and from other people's phones.

He's left dozens of messages over the past two years. Mostly something like "Hey, haven't heard from you in a while, give me a call." The last message sounded a little more desperate. I think he's in trouble, again.

Now I don't return or answer his calls because that only encourages him. And every time he asks for a "favor" (and he only calls to ask for favors) it ends up costing me a significant amount of time and/or money--that is never paid back (despite repeated promises). It just leads to the expectation that he can ask for more next time.

Example...

Bob: "Chris, I need to borrow $400 to sign up for Chef School."

Me: "You want to be a chef now?"

Bob: "Yeah. And the class is $400. I've always liked cooking. I think I can make a career out of this."

Me: "How do you plan on paying me back?"

Bob: "Once I'm a rich chef, money shouldn't be a problem."

Me: "And what if you don't become a rich chef."

Bob: "Oh I will. I love cooking. This is going to be so much fun. I'll open an expensive restaurant. We go back a long way, Chris. We've been buddies for a long time. I just need $400 to realize my dream, and some money for fees and the textbook. And a ride twice a week to the cooking school."

Me: (Realizing that the expectation has now shifted from loaning $400 to financing his culinary education). "No. You never pay me back, and you never follow through on any of your dreams."

Bob: "Come on man, I really want to do this."

Me: "Then you can find another way to pay for it."

***

Anyway, the tone of his last call sounded desperate. I know he's probably calling about money (which I haven't loaned any to him since I was in college). I suspect that his marriage (I think he got married) is breaking up, or he lost his job (again), or he's in trouble with the law (again).

I was thinking, I never call him for anything. I can't depend on him for anything. I have no desire to get advice from him nor even discuss life issues with him. I don't value him as a friend. I view him more as a parasite. Feeding a parasite does not make it go away.

He knows that I'm avoiding his calls (after two years, he said so in his message). I didn't listen to the whole thing. I deleted it as soon as it turned into a guilt trip about how I should call him because he's my friend and we've been friends forever and how I should at least give him the chance to explain whatever he did to piss me off. (I almost feel like he is curious which things I know about.) The thing is, it's been a one-sided friendship forever. I never got anything out of it. I recall that the one time I really needed this guy in high school, he turned his back on me. I haven't depended on him since. On the other hand, I've bailed him out dozens of times--often at great personal sacrifice.

I kind of fear this guy showing up at my doorstep now that he's back in Illinois. I just want him out of my life--permanently. But he is far too persistent when he thinks there is an easy "mark". Thankfully I should be able to remain a heartless conservative in his presence.

A friend once asked me if he could borrow $100 until payday.
I asked him when payday was. He said "how the heck would I know, you're the one with a job".

so you haven't spoken to him in 2 years and he still calls? Wow. That's just weird. I guess his "talent" is dogged persistence.

Chris I don't like the idea that the guy now lives within my area code.

If he used your SSN, I'd seriously look at getting his ass nailed for ID theft.

What is it about Florida that attracts all the scumbags, do-nothings, scammers, losers and drifters there? I lived there for four years and I still am amazed at how so much of society's dregs seemed to be attracted to the same place like metal filings to a magnet.

There were some nice aspects too, but that particular one I don't miss a bit.

Where do you live Garrett? I grew up in Naperville.

I don't have any evidence that he ever had or used my SSN--just that he gave my name/address to a collection agency. They did stop calling after I called them back.