Funy what some people say when they're tipsy
 

Had drinks and dinner with co-workers and customers tonight. After a couple of drinks at the bar while waiting for our table, folks were starting to get a bit smashed (I don't drink so I nurse a glass of club soda all night).

Someone started talking about how they often see missiles being fired off at night from a local air force base in Sacramento to stay in practice just in case North Korea sends some our way. Another mentions a UFO sighting. Yet another says her middle intial S stands for Syphillis!

It's fun being the only sober person at a cocktail party!

I am guilty as charged. Said "I love you" followed a year later by "I do" once... boy it sure came back to bite me and my bank account in the end.

My favorite was something I overheard at my second wifes family reunion. She had a cousin who was a knock out and knew it. She was heard to say "I've never understood whats so wrong with having sex with your own cousin....... especially if she's been drinking".
My response? "Bartender....a couple more for the ladies!"

I'm frequently in that situation.

A few years ago about a dozen friends were having dinner at a local restaurant. It was really, really hot. I was on call and arrived a bit late so the waiter caught me on the way to the table to take my drink order. I told him to bring me a tall glass of tonic water with a wedge of lime. After draining my drink, the waiter asks if I'd like another. "Keep 'em coming!" was my response. I guess I drank half a dozen glasses that night. One of the dinner guests started to look a little concerned ( I was scheduled to operate on her in a few days). As I got up to leave, she asked "Are you sure you're OK to drive?" I announced "Drive, hell! I'm going straight to the operating room!"

My favorite driunk quote was overheard at the Colorado river yesterday. The temperature was 117 degrees F. and the beers were flowing faster than the river was.
A guy nearby slurred: "this stopped being fun 10 degrees ago".

Well not tipsy but full blown drunk. Back in the day when drinking was only done on days that ended in Y we had a full blown trash fest. Sometime during the party someone noticed that Scott was missing. After a long search which involved many trips to the fridge we found Scott. He was out in the front yard laying on his back under a bush, His comment when we shook him to make sure he was still alive was to leave him alone he was riding the grass bus

back when i was a professional pilot, i used to do the very obscene thing of hitting a liquor store at the end of a very long duty daygoing home. you get some interesting looks, looking haggard, eyes bloodshot red, shirttail half hanging out with 4 bars on your eppaulettes and holding two bottles of tequila. a couple times i'd look at my watch and turn to someone else in line and say 'i've got to get the plane..' so unprofessional, i know. lol.
ryan

Just last night I went out for drinks with some of my coworkers. The ladies had a few beers, and next thing you know we are talking about vibrators and something called the "Liberator". Apparently I should look into it and my GF will thank me later ;)

When I am with the guys, talk always tends toward cars, baseball, and the kind of stuff they discuss on COAST TO COAST AM.

CLASSIC. :D