Gift giving the your spouse... do you or don't you?

[LeeH]

A friend of mine has an agreement with his wife that they don't exchange gifts. Too many occaisions, too much pressure, too much expense, etc. Anyone else have a similar arrangement?

[sammyg2]

Nope, no gifts.
If we want something we buy it for ourselves, that way we get what we want.

[singpilot]

She used to give me a gift every time I walked thru the door.

I gave her one several minutes later.







Found out she was giving gifts to anyone that walked thru the door.





YMMV.


edit: I just saw this is about a SPOUSE. None of the SPOUSES I had did this. I apologize if I defamed any of my ex-spouses.

[Moneyguy1]

My wife knows more what she likes than I do. So, if on vacation, for example, if she spots a piece of Native American jewelery she likes, it's Ok with me. She considers it a gift, and I consider it an excellent opportunity to let her know how important she is to me. THe added benefit is n second trips to return because it is the wrong size, wrong color, or wrong style!!!

[Rick V]

Originally posted by sammyg2
Nope, no gifts.
If we want something we buy it for ourselves, that way we get what we want.

X2 much easier that way

[Dixie]

High price material gifts? Good god, No.
Gifts of love and acknowledgments? YES!

A card, an IOU for a back rub, a coupon to go to an out-of-state track event, a day of shopping w/o the kids... They're all worth more than any over priced gift you could imagine.

[legion]

My wife and I still buy each other gifts. To us, it's about showing our appreciation to each other.

I understand people who agree not to buy each other gifts, but it's not our style.

[Ronbo]

Our agreement is that we don't buy each other gifts, mostly because of the time it takes to do it right. She's a partner at a CPA firm and is swamped all the time. We usually end up surprising the other with some small gift though.

[alf]

We still buy each other gifts on special occassions. On our 10th Anniversary, i made her a ring out of a silver ignot. Hammer, file and solder. No power tools, took 8 hrs but costed $10 in materials.

[RoninLB]

after over 20yrs of marriage the bride still thinks I should dress the way she figures. Last week she walks in with 5 $$ summer shirts. Two days later 3 of them are being modeled by her male co-workers in the city before they accept their new gifts. She gets the 3 guys to prance up and down the walkways wearing them for the girls. This is at a very high end NYC group.

[Jims5543]

Originally posted by Ronbo
Our agreement is that we don't buy each other gifts, mostly because of the time it takes to do it right. She's a partner at a CPA firm and is swamped all the time. We usually end up surprising the other with some small gift though.

Thats what we do. It our opinion that when one is expected like for holidays or Anniversaries its like, forced.

It so much more fun to suprise her with a little gift here and there. We agreed a long time ago to skip the "Society Madated" gift giving.

I little something out of no where is so much more fun.

[Jims5543]

BTW- I have a co-worker that I love to tease when Valentines day comes along. Poor guy.

He HAS to do something for ALL the holidays including, gag, Valentines Day. I tease him as he scrambles and fights to get flowers odered and buys a card and candy etc...

[Moses]

My wife maintains an impressive juggling act for our family. Three kids, the house and she does book keeping for me. She insulates me from the unpleasantries of everyday life. I don't deal with contractors, repair guys or insurance salesmen.

All day, every day, my wife is taking care of everybody around her. Birthdays, anniversaries and Valentines day are an opportunity to say thanks. Truth is, I don't do enough for her.

[JavaBrewer]

Originally posted by Moses
My wife maintains an impressive juggling act for our family. Three kids, the house and she does book keeping for me. She insulates me from the unpleasantries of everyday life. I don't deal with contractors, repair guys or insurance salesmen.

All day, every day, my wife is taking care of everybody around her. Birthdays, anniversaries and Valentines day are an opportunity to say thanks. Truth is, I don't do enough for her.

+1

We know several couples that have the "no gifting" policy and most of the women in those relationships are not happy. If you can find it in your heart to spend money on toys (pcars, bikes, surfing, golf, etc...) but not the wife then I hope she has the same spending freedom for her *needs*.

I actually enjoy shopping for my wife and only wish I had more money to spend on her. I have pretty good taste and more importantly know what looks good on her. She prefers me to shop for her jewelry and clothes.

I always spoil her on Christmas and take special pleasure with unexpected gifts during the year. Simple dinner out with kids in tow and a surprise necklace & earrings. Trust me it goes along way.

[vash]

deep down inside, all women want gifts. agreements or not. not a woman alive that will return your GOOD gift and say, "thank you, but you violated our agreement, no thank you...."

applies to wifes in training too. which is my situation.

[Seahawk]

Originally posted by Ronbo
Our agreement is that we don't buy each other gifts, mostly because of the time it takes to do it right. She's a partner at a CPA firm and is swamped all the time. We usually end up surprising the other with some small gift though.

As long as I find time to get something to let her know I took the time to think of her with a small gift, we are in the same situation.

I find that little surprises out of the birthday/anniversary cycle keep me in clover. Mainly because they are so rare