Funny voice mail messages
 

I know a guy that's going through a divorce right now. He has great sense of humor. I called his mobile phone this monring and heard this message:

"Hi, this is ___, I 've recently made some changes to my life. Leave a message after the beep, if I don't call you back, you 're one of them. LOL!!!!!:D

THat's hilarious.

I once recorded the automated directory system from the FBI office downtown L.A.. People calling my house would think they had gotten the FBI by mistake.

I had one that made people nuts.


"Hello", then wait a few secs.

"Helllo" in a louder voice then wait a few secs.

"Hellllo" is still louder voice, then wait a few secs.

"Just leave a message after beep"



they wind up screaming into phone.

I don't think anyone realyl listens to the message, they just wait for the beep and start talking. I've used:

"This is ......., I'm sorry I can't tak your call right now, I'm out herding reindeer on the Siberian tundra at the moment, so you might want to try calling my cell phone. I'm not sure I'll have coverage but hey it's worth a shot."

And:

"I'm .......... and I approved this message." Ususally around Sept-Oct.

And:

"Thanks for calling, please don't do it again."

And:

"Hi, this is ......... Caller ID is a wonderful thing, so if you're hearing this it's probably because I don't want to talk to you right now. Leave a message. Or not."

No one ever seems to notice.

While my room-mate and I were serving on ballistic missile submarines, I recorded the following gem, using that voice you hear on the radio for used car sales:

"Have you ever wanted to obliterate a small country? Wipe a mid-sized metropolis off the map? Well, thank you for calling Mike and Dan's nuclear weapon delivery service -- anywhere in the world, 30 minutes or less, or your money back! ... (much faster voice) Offer not valid in Lithuania, Botswana, or Taiwan."

Back in college, the dorm I was staying in had a phone at the front desk where many parents would call. I happened to be sitting there one night with a few friends and the phone started to ring. We all sat silent as I picked up the phone aftre the 4th ring and said..."You have reached Widenhouse dorm, none of us are in at the moment, so please leave your name, number, time that you called and the person you are trying to reach and we will get the message to them" I hit one of the buttons on the phone for the "beep" and the guy actually started to leave a message for his son. I did not have paper or pen handy and so, the kid never did get the message....

We'd also answer the phone from time to time using: "City morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em."

Dave

single guys should have a slinky female voice do the recording imo.

It keeps the newbies busy always thinking exactly where that voice came from. They are also more willing to be treated as sluts.