Pelican Parts
Parts Catalog Accessories Catalog How To Articles Tech Forums
Call Pelican Parts at 888-280-7799
Shopping Cart Cart | Project List | Order Status | Help

Go Back   Pelican Parts Forums > Miscellaneous and Off Topic Forums > Off Topic Discussions

LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread
Thread Post New Thread    Reply
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 190
Good advice. I'm going through the same thing. My wife of 4 years decided that she was in love with her friend's husband, who also happens to be my next door neighbor. It gets more Jerry Springer from there, but it's a long story. So with our daughter 1 1/2 years old, she moves out and files. Does the court care about what she did? No, they only care that I make 6x the money she does (now that she finally got a job after not working most of the time we were married), and I am expected to pay accordingly. No 'maintenance' required due to the relatively short marriage, but the child support I'll be paying will basically double her income.

One thing I've learned is that the child support and asset division calculations are basically set in stone and not worth arguing about. Doing so will only make your attorneys rich(er). Focus on the kids, and document the time that you spend with them during the separation. Consult an attorney to get an estimate of the child support amount that you will be required to pay, and start paying it voluntarily as soon as you are separated. This shows that you have the best interest of the kids in mind and may help when the visitation schedule is set up. Also, she'll get back child support anyway.

Your friend is in for it. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Make sure you are there for him.
Old 10-07-2006, 07:10 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #21 (permalink)
Student of the obvious
LeeH's Avatar
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 7,609
It's official. They're done. Once he's over the shock he's going to be much happier. The kids will be another story.

Mazda 3 S Touring Hatchback
Old 10-13-2006, 02:17 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #22 (permalink)
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 60
Your mileage may vary but here's my advice from someone who has been there.
1. Hire the best attorney in town. Period. A good one is well worth the extra money x10.
2. if the ex has anger issues (as mine did) forget mediation. It will be a waste of time.
3. Try to keep your sanity through it all. My x tried to get to me through every way she could, including our son. Never say or do anything that you may regret later. When all is said and done you (or your friend) has to live with it. Be true to your values and beliefs.
4. Even though I decided to give my x everything I had at the time of our breakup, financially I was better off 6 months later than I had been before the divorce.
Old 10-13-2006, 05:20 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #23 (permalink)
Registered User
Don 944 LA's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Downtown LA CA / North Texas
Posts: 1,175
step 1. Tell the spouse .. "It's OK, Lets work this out with therapy whatever"
Step 2. Next morning, go down to the courthouse and get a restraining order stating that said spouse threatened harm to children, and your friend.
Step 3. Have Local Poice show up ..

In the end the other spouse will go through hell and have to give up ANYTHING that would be obtained in a divorce just to be able to see the children ...

Happened to my sister.
She had to spend $80 for one hour (supervised) visits with her daughter, because they were told she was a homicidal crazy woman. She ended giving up the house and was thrown out with what clothes she had on, and no matter how many court judgements said that her ex had to give her personnal belongings, they were never enforced because she was the "bad guy" .....

In the end it all came out that it was BS, but it was just swept under the rug.

She now has 50% costody but in reality is 80% and has regained her life back due to our family along the way...

By the way, my sister had a great attorney, and he had a 1-800-divorce attorney and I think he was coached in EXACTLY what to do and when.

She got ZERO (except for some very small $$) and 50% custody.

something to thing about, or watch out for.
944 85.0 Kalahari Beige -- Dead/Gone/NotForgotten (Ran Like a Raped Banshee) 944 85.5 Guards Red
Current Stable 944 83 Kalahari Beige manual rack, short 5th gear951 86 Guards Red, pristine TurboYou must not anger the Porsche Gods - you MUST leave one small item unrepaired, lest the Stuttgartians smite thine car with bad Ju-Ju-AF Juvat
Old 10-14-2006, 12:48 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #24 (permalink)
Living in Reality
cool_chick's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 5,672
Send a message via Yahoo to cool_chick
Damn, don.

so sorry for your sister.

I don't get it. I honestly could not live with myself taking what wasn't earned.

My ex and I (no kids) went 50-50, worked it all out on our own. He probably did better, he got the Harley and I got the car. I helped him get another car though...

man, I don't understand greed.
Old 10-14-2006, 02:19 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #25 (permalink)
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: uh.. let me check the hotel key
Posts: 1,313
Send a message via AIM to air-cool-me

parental alienation syndrome..... its sucks...
Old 10-14-2006, 02:38 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #26 (permalink)
Registered User
charleskieffner's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,846
P.A.S. is out there. after 8 years my relationship with my younger one has finally come full circle. things are great again after he has matured and realized mom still has a drug/alcohol issue. i was told by a ton of people this would occur and by god it did. i didnt have to lift a finger except bide my time. that was tough, but im glad i didnt pull any stunts i would regret. right now hes testing the waters to see if he can move in with me. i realized what he was fishing for and out of the blue mentioned if you wanna move back in its fine. mom has flipped now that she found out we are hanging together and has threatened to take his car back and cancel his insurance. this is 8 years after the fact. in hindsight i should have gone for full custody back after her AGG/DUI and drug possession charges and saved myself and my kids alot of problems w/school etc. but i didnt trying to be a nice guy.

the ultimate cut to a woman no matter how much of a drunk or druggie they are, is to be deemed by courts as a "UNFIT MOTHER". even though they have no daily interaction w/kids w/exception of yell at them and then pass out on couch. funny how that works. they dont give a damn about nothing except getting high/drunk all day/night, and when a spouse goes for full custody due to their problem they FLIP!
Old 10-14-2006, 03:46 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #27 (permalink)
Unconstitutional Patriot
turbo6bar's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: volunteer state
Posts: 5,618
Originally posted by cool_chick
man, I don't understand greed.
Is it greed or the desire to stick it to the ex?

Marriage is like landlording. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, it's really bad.
Old 10-14-2006, 05:05 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #28 (permalink)

Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2018 Pelican Parts, LLC - Posts may be archived for display on the Pelican Parts Website -    DMCA Registered Agent Contact Page

DTO Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.