Advice from Dads on responcibility
 

So I bought into a Cingular Family plan for my wife and three children (14, 12 and 10). We paid for one cell phone, and the other 3 were "free" - retail value is $200 for each phone. I told my children that I'd buy the first cell phone - the next one (if they wanted a better one or lost this one) they'd have to buy themselves. I wanted to encourage responsibilty.

My twelve year old daughter was nominated to attend a Congressional (don't say Page) leadership conference for a week in D.C. The phone did not return with her - it was lost. So my question for all the dads is, How much do I make her pony up for a new phone. My wife thinks I'm being too hard on her.

Responsibility should start at an early age, or as the child enters adulthood, they will not be prepared for it.

Your call. Do what you feel is right, but I advise against taking the easy way out.

I'd recommend that you have her choose between paying a significant part of the replacement cost (perhaps some now, some spread over time), or to forgo having a cell phone.

Sounds like you know who'll be washing your car weekly for the next several months.

the ex said our son needed a cell phone (he's 10). I did a family plan gig with no phone purchase and he's using her old phone. I've got two other old phones that will be the replacements for that one. He wanted a nice new one (but dad, it has itunes...) but there was no way any cash was going out for a new phone.

You can check ebay for used unlocked GSM phones. Should be able to find one cheap that she can buy.

I'd make her pay, but probably not make her get a $200. There are probably plenty of phones around that cost <$50.

We all know "retail value" of cell phones is BS, so don't pass that off on your daughter.

What is the actual replacement cost to you to get another phone? That is what she should pay, IMO. If you have insurance, and the amount is zero, then she needs to start paying for her own phone insurance.

Replacement cost is approx $200. I have been searching ebay and there's plenty there - I'm just not sure about compatibility.

I agree. If you told her up front that she'd be paying for it if it was lost, you need to enforce that policy - although in the interest of being a good dad, I'd let her "work off" some of that - give her $40 or $50 (more than it's really worth) for washing the car and stuff like that to help make the cost more manageable. The lesson will still get taught without killing her or making her totally resent you for it. . . Just my $0.02.

Have you established how the phone was lost? Was it stolen perhaps, or did she carelessly leave it behind somewhere?

I would cut her a break depending on the circumstances of the loss. If it was stolen, suck it up and buy the new phone. If it was forgotten somewhere by negligence, remember that she is only 12 and cannot be expected to think of everything at the same time. However, she should contribute something of value to her towards the replacement. This could be money (does she have her own savings?) or working off the debt through extra chores.

I have 3 kids aged 8 - 14, so I have had my share of these things. Besides, phones have a habit of getting lost/stolen like most toys that kids own. You will end up paying for it anyway, so this is a good opportunity to teach her that neglicence has consequences but probably not 200 bucks worth.

Re: Advice from Dads on responcibility
 

Nothing, because as a responsible parent you foresaw the possibility of this type situation and took out the appropriate insurance on the equipment.

According to the agreement you had said you would take care of the first one and if they lost or broke it then they would have to pay for another if they wanted a phone. I would say that she doesn't owe you anything but if she wants a phone she has tp buy it. Technically it didn't cost you anything.

Is there a pattern of this kind of thing from her? If not, help her out as mistakes happen. If she's prone to this type of thing then tighten the screws.

my question is.....why the heck does a 10-12-14 year old even need a cell phone?

Also a very good point.

Re: Advice from Dads on responcibility
 

You answered your own question....do what you say, say what you do...consistency.

If you want to know what phones are available just see what models they have here
http://www.cingular.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phones/index.jsp

And then you know what will work for you. Either get it at the store or get it on ebay. I'd never buy a $200 cell phone. If I got one for free fine. If I could get them to send me one for free or cheap fine, otherwise there are too many good phones that are cheap that may not have a camera, mp3 player etc. I'd let her get whatever phone she's willing to pay for. If she has to have the $200 and is willing to save up and pay, fine, if she'll get by with a $50 or even $20 phone then that's perfect too.

LeRoux Strydom: She's a saver and she has the money - but she would be very angry to let go of any of it.

Lubemaster: we are locked into a $10/month agreement with or without that phone. Plus, she occaisionaly is inolved in an activity where she needs to have a phone - such as the DC trip.

Lendaddy: she is fairly responsible for her age, but I made the agreement with all 3, and they will scream "unfair" if I waive it for one and not all.

Bell: I can argue both sides of this issue. I can easily agree with you, but do you have young children today? The overall cost of this"system" is not great - we can afford it, let's put it that way. The younger two do not gab on the phone. The older one text-messages others but she has to pay for that. The phones give my wife a lot of peace-of-mind when it comes to the coordination of the many activities that the kids are involved with. For example - my 12 year old is frequently out till past 9pm at water polo practice, and it IS nice that we can contact her or vice versa if something comes up etc.

These days it's a safety issue. If it's so they can talk to their friends for hours on end, then it shouldn't be an issue, but it's a nice safety feature.

here's a list of cingular compatible phones on ebay
http://cell-phones.search.ebay.com/cingular-phone_Cell-Phones_W0QQsacatZ146487