Directions for voting.
 

1) Locate handy voting pamphlet for your local election. Most states mail these to your house many months before the election. They are also available in librarys, post offices, city/county govermental buildings, online.

If you are unable to locate pamphlet, see Index A below

2) Read pamphlet.

If you are unable to read pamphlet, see Index A below

3) Follow directions in pamphlet.

If you are unable to follow directions in pamphlet, see Index A below.

4) Vote. Bring ID.

No ID? Index A.





Index A

1) Get neutered, post haste.

Every voting booth, plus signs all over the voting station tell you that these are not touch screen machines...

There are finger prints all over them...

If you get confused at all during ther voting process, just make sure you vote NO to everything.

don't mention it, i was just glad I could help.

(1) Jump border from Mexico illegally into U.S.
(2) Get utility service under assumed name at flophouse with 16 other illegals
(3) Take copy of utility bill to register to vote and then as "proof of identity" at polls.
(4) Vote for candidates most friendly towards illegal immigration, free social services programs and government grants.
(5) Go home, crack open a Dos Equis and get the girlfriend pregnant again.

Sad, but true.