Some People Should Just Keep Their Mouths Closed...

[rcecale]

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?


Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"


-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward .

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

And

"We are ready for an un foreseen event that
may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Randy

[on-ramp]

you forgot one.


"You're one of the outstanding leaders in a very important part of the world. I want to thank you for strategizing our discussions." --George W. Bush, meeting with the prime minister of Malaysia, New York, N.Y., Sept. 18, 2006

[rcecale]

This one slays me...

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the--if he--if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not--that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement....Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true."

~~ Bill Clinton - rationalization to the grand jury about why he wasn't lying when he said to his top aides that with respect to Monica Lewinsky, "there's nothing going on between us."

Randy

[widebody911]

"No doubt in my mind, with your help, Dave Lamberti will be the next United States congressman." —Speaking at a campaign rally for Jeff Lamberti, Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006.

"You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. No President wants to be a war President, but I am one."—Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006

"This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates; these are the actual results for the fiscal year that ended February the 30th."—Referring to the fiscal year that ended on Sept. 30, Washington, D.C., Oct. 11, 2006.

"One has a stronger hand when there's more people playing your same cards."—Washington, D.C., Oct. 11, 2006

"You're one of the outstanding leaders in a very important part of the world. I want to thank you for strategizing our discussions."—Meeting with the prime minister of Malaysia, New York, Sept. 18, 2006

"The goals of this country is to enhance prosperity and peace."—Speaking at the White House Conference on Global Literacy, New York, Sept. 18, 2006

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."—Interview with CBS News, Washington D.C., Sept. 6, 2006

"And I suspect that what you'll see, Toby, is there will be a momentum, momentum will be gathered. Houses will begat jobs, jobs will begat houses." —Speaking with reporters along the Gulf Coast, Gulfport, Miss., Aug. 28, 2006

"And the question is, are we going to be facile enough to change with—will we be nimble enough; will we be able to deal with the circumstances on the ground? And the answer is, yes, we will."—Washington, D.C., July 25, 2006

"One thing is clear, is relations between America and Russia are good, and they're important that they be good."—Strelna, Russia, July 15, 2006

"We shouldn't fear a world that is more interacted."—Washington, D.C., June 27, 2006.

"I've reminded the prime minister—the American people, Mr. Prime Minister, over the past months that it was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship."—Washington, D.C., June 29, 2006

"I tell people, let's don't fear the future, let's shape it."—Omaha, Neb., June 7, 2006

"I think—tide turning—see, as I remember—I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of—it's easy to see a tide turn—did I say those words?"—Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

President Bush: Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?
Peter Wallsten of the Los Angeles Times: I can take them off.
Bush: I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.
Wallsten: All right, I'll keep it, then.
Bush: For the viewers, there's no sun.
Wallsten: I guess it depends on your perspective.
Bush: Touché.

—Exchange with legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten, to whom Bush later apologized, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

"I was not pleased that Hamas has refused to announce its desire to destroy Israel."—Washington, D.C., May 4, 2006

"If people want to get to know me better, they've got to know my parents and the values my parents instilled in me, and the fact that I was raised in West Texas, in the middle of the desert, a long way away from anywhere, hardly. There's a certain set of values you learn in that experience."—Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone."—Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany."—Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"Finally, the desk, where we'll have our picture taken in front of—is nine other Presidents used it. This was given to us by Queen Victoria in the 1870s, I think it was. President Roosevelt put the door in so people would not know he was in a wheelchair. John Kennedy put his head out the door."—Showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"That's called, 'A Charge To Keep,' based upon a religious hymn. The hymn talks about serving God. The president's job is never to promote a religion."—Showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three—three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"—Showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"I can look you in the eye and tell you I feel I've tried to solve the problem diplomatically to the max, and would have committed troops both in Afghanistan and Iraq knowing what I know today."—Irvine, Calif., April 24, 2006

"I aim to be a competitive nation."—San Jose, Calif., April 21, 2006

"I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006

"I strongly believe what we're doing is the right thing. If I didn't believe it—I'm going to repeat what I said before—I'd pull the troops out, nor if I believed we could win, I would pull the troops out."—Charlotte, N.C., April 6, 2006

"If the Iranians were to have a nuclear weapon they could proliferate."—Washington D.C., March 21, 2006

"No question that the enemy has tried to spread sectarian violence. They use violence as a tool to do hat."—Washington, D.C., March 22, 2006

"And so I'm for medical liability at the federal level."—Discussing his support of medical liability reform, Washington, D.C., March 10, 2006

"After the bombing, most Iraqis saw what the perpetuators of this attack were trying to do."—(On the bombing of the Golden Mosque of Samarra in Iraq) March 13, 2006, Washington, D.C.

"I think it's really important for this great state of baseball to reach out to people of all walks of life to make sure that the sport is inclusive. The best way to do it is to convince little kids how to—the beauty of playing baseball."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 13, 2006

"And I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company."—Defending a plan to allow a company from the United Arab Emirates to manage ports in the United States, aboard Air Force One, Feb. 21, 2006

"I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them then I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president."—Nashville, Tenn., Feb. 1, 2006

"He was a state sponsor of terror. In other words, the government had declared, you are a state sponsor of terror."—On Saddam Hussein, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006

"I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go—you know—I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say."—Explaining that he hasn't yet seen Brokeback Mountain, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006

"You took an oath to defend our flag and our freedom, and you kept that oath underseas and under fire."—Addressing war veterans, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2006

"As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself—not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch."—After visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 1, 2006

"If you found somebody that had information about an attack on America, you'd want to know as best as we can to find out what the facts are."—Philadelphia, Pa., Dec. 12, 2005

"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome."—Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005, on the reception of American forces in Iraq

"I mean, I read the newspaper. I mean, I can tell you what the headlines are. I must confess, if I think the story is, like, not a fair appraisal, I'll move on. But I know what the story's about." —Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005

"[I]t's a myth to think I don't know what's going on. It's a myth to think that I'm not aware that there's opinions that don't agree with mine, because I'm fully aware of that."—Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005

"I mean, there was a serious international effort to say to Saddam Hussein, you're a threat. And the 9/11 attacks extenuated that threat, as far as I—concerned."—Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
—Tucson, Ariz., Nov. 28, 2005

"We got the best workforce in America—in the world."
—Washington, D.C., Dec. 2, 2005

"As a matter of fact, I know relations between our governments is good."—On U.S.-South Korean relations, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2005

"Bin Laden says his own role is to tell Muslims, quote, 'what is good for them and what is not.' "—Washington, D.C., Oct. 6, 2005

"I think it's important to bring somebody from outside the system, the judicial system, somebody that hasn't been on the bench and, therefore, there's not a lot of opinions for people to look at." —On the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, Washington, D.C., October 4, 2005

"We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you."—Gulfport, Miss., Sept. 20, 2005.

"Listen, I want to thank leaders of the—in the faith—faith-based and community-based community for being here."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 6, 2005.

"If it were to rain a lot, there is concern from the Army Corps of Engineers that the levees might break. And so, therefore, we're cautious about encouraging people to return at this moment of history."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2005

[Flatbutt1]

It just breaks the heart to hear him speak

[Moses]

Don't misunderestimate him.

[Brian Cameron]

"I was moving into my new apartment and was carrying the headboard up to the main entrance door. A woman from the apartment was just leaving and held the door open for me, and said,

"'I guess it's OK to let you in, a rapist wouldn't have a bed like that.'

"Now, what I SHOULD have said was - nothing.

"What I DID say was - 'You'd be surprised...'"