friend with anger issue.....
 

i work with the guy. we share the same office (used to). he always drops lines like, "i hate everyone".. negative stuff like that. well, he got it in his butt to move to a cubicle in the main area. i guess he got pissed at us. so him being a friend and all, we teased him. our other office room-mate called it an "ugly breakup". all this is in fun. on the bright side, me and the other remaining roomie made plans to spread out, and take advantage of the extra room. jokingly, i asked the friend,"when the heck are you moving out? we have plans to spread out" he started slamming things and became really unpleasant. as the friend group, we always find ourselves tiptoeing arount this guy. he fights with the contractors, and gets pissed when the same contractors become very cooperative with us (cus we are nice). i am not an arse kisser, but i know i cannot approach him.

ironically, he is very religious and reads from his bible, and goes to church. i guess i missed the verses that preach anger.
thanks for the vent-age.

I'll never forget you bastards for doing this.....
I hate all of you.

A very serious problem. No one should feel like they are having to walk on eggs around another person. In my life, I have found the best I can do is to avoid people and situations that cause me extreme discomfort.

Just out of curiosity...YOu refer to this individual as a "friend". How do you define friend? Friendship really requires caring and consideration on both sides.

...And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

god, shut up mom! Can't you leave us alone?!?!

no, we hang out besides work. i have tried to set him up with girls and everything. he is just a social retard. i think i am gonna bail on him. to much work.
today will be like; ask him to lunch, and he will say no, but if we dont ask him to lunch he will be pissed. you cant win.

damn, i should buy him a red swingline!!!!!

I was married to someone just like him.......for 23 years. Ten years ago I figured out that this person is just going to have a bad attitude regardless of what anyone else does or says. Then, three years ago, she left me.

Whew!

And today, I know two more things that are very helpful to know. I know I cannot live like that. And now I also know that it is WAY more pleasant hanging around confident, happy people.

I hope you learn more quickly than I do.

Tell your friend to use Lexapro. 10 mg a day.

Aurel

$16.49 at Amazon.com Yeah, baby. It's a Swingline. Put the matches down.

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-The...r/dp/B00021UK0C

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1164659572.jpg

A co-worker of mine was the same way - when she got angry and went on a rampage, look out!

She got fired for harassment. Threatening a co-worker. (namely, me.)

-Z

Please do not let Pat know that you did this to him. He might have to do down to the arsenel... oops, basement and come back up and start the civil war again!

I'd wear a bullet proof vest for awhile. http://www.pelicanparts.com/support/...ool_shades.gif

Can you imagine what he would be like if he didn't have religious beliefs? I'd venture to guess he would be much worse.
Who needs a doctor more than the sick, and who needs salvation more than a sinner? And who needs a true friend more than this man? Not just a buddy, but a friend. You are ready to give up on him but have you really tried to help him with his anger? there must be an underlying cause that is eating him up inside. If he does not want help and will not allow it I understand there may be nothing you can do.

But where the heck did athiests get the idea that because someone has found religion, they are supposed to be perfect?
We are not perfect, just forgiven and saved.

I watch to see if he comes in with a black trench coat one day. Have an exit strategy from the building, literally!

Yup. You just described the guy I sit next to all day long. Once Christmas is over, Im bailing out, not worth it to put up with him and he's a much better engineer than me so he's not going anywhere.

We say "good morning" and "good night" and thats about it, it totally sucks.

I'll be the first to say it in all seriousness...I think this guy is dangerous. You, and your co-workers should not be subjected to this kind of behavior in the workplace. You can make light of this all you want, and continue to patronize his erratic moods, but it is downright unsafe to not deal with this directly. Talk with his manager first. Is there a history of this? Explain the uncomfortable atmosphere that this behavior creates. HR should step in quickly. They recognize these things easier than the rest of the associates, and know how to deal with it. I had a guy working for me who had lost perspective and was unhappy. I worried about what he might do, and counseled him out. I am willing to bet everyone is happier as a result. All the experienced managers will tell you, the most dangerous thing you can do in this circumstance is ignore it.

JA

I was a good employee but am much happier self-employed. It has its headaches but they're not someone else's.
Jim

I love the fact that a quote or reference to "office space" can be used in every thread in OT....


KT

Aggression stems from fear. Fear stems from low self esteem. Low self esteem stems from a combination of inherited personality traits and upbringing, traumatic experiences etc. On top of that it might be complicated with mental disturbance or disease.

Either way this guy is hurting. Plausibly enough to be a danger to himself and others. Unfortunately he is unlikely to fully recognize it himself - but he needs help. Professionally. Generally speaking.

Yep, I've got one of those at my office too. Occasionally a nice guy, but overbearing personality and far too aggressive - one of those people that isn't happy unless he's complaining (or ranting, up to and including yelling and flailing his arms around) about someone or something else. Sharp guy in a work context and very "get-it-done" when it comes to tasks, but can't work as part of a team, can't cooperate with others, sure as hell can't manage, etc.

I think he's kind of pissed at me since I've been promoted into project management and he hasn't (gee-whiz dude, did you ever think it MIGHT be your inability to professionally interact with any of our mechanical engineers, our structural engineer, our client's contractor or any of the clients, outside of giving them a brownnosing and sucking up kind of demeanor whenever you talk to 'em on the phone?) Decent technical architect but absolutely devoid of spirit, design passion, vision or willingness to work with others. To him, it's just a paycheck methinks and that's why I got promoted around him. Oh well. I ain't gonna' apologize for it.