lonely???

[svandamme]

what percentage of this board
has ever been truly lonely?

by lonely i mean:

the ability to cut off all comms and have nobody
(other then your employer or direct collegues's)
getting worried about your whereabouts within one week...

[masraum]

Can't easily answer the poll. In the past, I've definitely been lonely. I have people who depend on me (kids and wife) and I'm still lonely from time to time.

[svandamme]

Originally posted by masraum
Can't easily answer the poll. In the past, I've definitely been lonely. I have people who depend on me (kids and wife) and I'm still lonely from time to time.

i'm talking really lonely ...
to the point where you can drop everything and not one soul would even notice or care ( other then not showing up @ work ) which would be difficult with wife and kids... i'm sure they would notice, right?

[svandamme]

dammit , just realized,

i should have split up the desert option into 2 different things

eg , beeing comfortable with it ......or not.....

[VaSteve]

I think lonely is internal. What you have defined is more like "loner" or "independent".

[johnco]

walk a mile in my shoes if you ever want to see what lonely means. just typed a looong reply but didn't want to depress anyone with my sad boring life story. it's enough saying I've been on my own since I was 15, never been married and now I'm still alone at 51.. had some rough times in the past but the last many months have been the worse.. and now it's Holiday season..GRRRR. things can't much lower right now so up has to be the next direction my life takes. personal life sucks right now but my business is great, so at least I have work to look forward to every day. problem is, it gets dark about 5:30pm and that's hours too soon to have to go home... alone. should be used to being alone after 30 of the last 36 years day after day.. it's just getting harder to do the older I get. yes, it sounds sad, but I did edit out the really depressing parts of my life story. hehe Lonely? you have no idea

[bt1211]

There was a time when my family didnt tell me about reunions, gathering,etc. That lasted appox 15yrs. I was not a jerk and we got along. If they did tell me, it was I that chose not to attend. I prefered(at that time) not to have people around me that knew me well. My mother would try and track me down. I would put a call into her so she wouldn't worry. No details on where I was, just so she could here my voice.

Was I lonely? No. I think I wanted to have some control as to who was in my life (you know, you get to pick your friends kind of thing).

I call those years my "spy" years. I lived like I was on a secret mission.

Did my family worry about me? I'm not sure. I have always had a rep. of being able to take care of myself. Even as a young boy.

[Joeaksa]

Originally posted by johnco
walk a mile in my shoes if you ever want to see what lonely means. just typed a looong reply but didn't want to depress anyone with my sad boring life story. it's enough saying I've been on my own since I was 15, never been married and now I'm still alone at 51.. had some rough times in the past but the last many months have been the worse.. and now it's Holiday season..GRRRR. things can't much lower right now so up has to be the next direction my life takes. personal life sucks right now but my business is great, so at least I have work to look forward to every day. problem is, it gets dark about 5:30pm and that's hours too soon to have to go home... alone. should be used to being alone after 30 of the last 36 years day after day.. it's just getting harder to do the older I get. yes, it sounds sad, but I did edit out the really depressing parts of my life story. hehe Lonely? you have no idea

John,

The holidays are traditionally a very difficult time for many people, especially people living alone.

It sounds like this is wearing on you. Is there anyone you can get together with these days? Someone with a project that you can work together on for a while?

Find something to do, to keep you from dwelling on being alone. Keep your mind and body busy and things usually work out. Above all, do not turn to the bottle or drugs, they may make someone feel better for the moment but usually make things much worse in the long run.

Joe

[johnco]

family near but we don't talk much. haven't talked to my brother for 14+- years and he lives a block away. Sister lives 100 miles away and I can't take more than an hour or so of her. Mother waves sometimes as she's going down the road before turning on my brother's street for one of her several daily visits. daughter lives 400 miles away and I've talked to her more in the last few months than in the last few years since she's away at college and out from under her mother's control and can freely contact me. she's busy with school but may come visit a few days for Christmas. I've always hated Holidays even when I had someone in my life. got nothing and no one right now. Projects? I've got 14 cars needing repair/rebuilding, a house that's been empty, used for storage and in major disrepair for 6 years I recently moved back into. no time! finish one pool in the morning and usually start another that afternoon. I've been working 6-7 days a week to keep my mind busy. No Problem.. been in this situation most of my life. it just takes time to get out of the funk. holidays make it worse though. Damn! you were this late in the drugs and booze warning. hehehe I'll be okay.. so used to this but so tired of it. had 6 wonderful years with someone until recently. now that I've had a taste of how good things could be, I don't want my old lonely life back. don't get me wrong. I'm friends with almost everyone in town and at one time long ago, dated (sort of) a large percentage of the attractive women. probably a bigger percentage of so so attractive ones also depending on what I was drinking at the time. haha all I do is work and sit home so it's tough meeting someone. no where to go but up cause it can't get any worse. just another day just like all the other days

[Flatbutt1]

solitude is fine, loneliness sux.

[Jandrews]

solitude is fine, loneliness sux

+1

I might edit that to say "solitude is GRAND, loneliness, sux".


JA

[Sonic dB]

"Have you ever been lonely, do you have any fun?
Do you ever think of me, I’m just another one! yeah
You never give me no answers, you never tell me the truth.
There’s never been any reason for me to think about you."

Head East

[livi]

Damn it, Stijn. We need to have a talk.

[svandamme]

Originally posted by livi
Damn it, Stijn. We need to have a talk.

nah , i'm fine Markus
been alone for most of my life really , it's more my doctor who brought up the subject , in the sense where he pointed at stress and lonelyness as a cause for my illness, but as it turns out , it's fixable by watching my intake of fatty food

i can related to Johnco's story
i've been alone pretty much forever, and even when i was with familly , i was still pretty much alone, because i've never been raised with 2 parents, and the one i had worked all the time and we never got along, zero affection so to speak...it is tough especially during the holiday season, but i just pick up the shifts @ work that nobody else wants, and spend my time cooking something time consuming to get through the rest of those days...

[tabs]

Ifn I didn't have Mother I wouldn't have anyone at all....except my dog, and shes been worried about me lately...

[speeder]

You have all of us, Tabs.

Actually, all of us have each other here. In a way, this cyber community that occasionally spills over into the gravity world is pretty ideal. I spend a considerable amount of time alone by choice these days, and definitely will not be with family for any holidays this year.

I am sorry to hear about your current situation, John, but if it's any small comfort there are one hell of a lot of people with *less than perfect* family relations. Count the blessings that you do have and try to be positive, that will attract good things and people into your life.

[livi]

Originally posted by svandamme
nah , i'm fine Markus
been alone for most of my life really , it's more my doctor who brought up the subject , in the sense where he pointed at stress and lonelyness as a cause for my illness, but as it turns out , it's fixable by watching my intake of fatty food

i can related to Johnco's story
i've been alone pretty much forever, and even when i was with familly , i was still pretty much alone, because i've never been raised with 2 parents, and the one i had worked all the time and we never got along, zero affection so to speak...it is tough especially during the holiday season, but i just pick up the shifts @ work that nobody else wants, and spend my time cooking something time consuming to get through the rest of those days...

Ironically, in some sense, I can envy that spot. I seem to suffer from the opposite. Too much, too many, all the time. Loosing myself. Maybe if I send, say, half of my kids to you for next summer - we would even up our sorrows.. I would even pay you..

[svandamme]

yeah ok , but don't complain if they are unmanagable upon their return to you ... and make sure to hide all combustable , flammable or smokable chemicals, as well as the keys to your 911, better still, hang the keys around your neck... hiding keys never worked for my mum either, i knew all the hiding places well before my mother hid things there...

[livi]

Sounds like an improvement actually.

[Flatbutt1]

Originally posted by svandamme
nah , i'm fine Markus
been alone for most of my life really , it's more my doctor who brought up the subject , in the sense where he pointed at stress and lonelyness as a cause for my illness, but as it turns out , it's fixable by watching my intake of fatty food

i can related to Johnco's story
i've been alone pretty much forever, and even when i was with familly , i was still pretty much alone, because i've never been raised with 2 parents, and the one i had worked all the time and we never got along, zero affection so to speak...it is tough especially during the holiday season, but i just pick up the shifts @ work that nobody else wants, and spend my time cooking something time consuming to get through the rest of those days...

OK if we're gonna share. Well since my car crash that left me with a physical challenge I've been even more isolated. At first vpeople were a little wierded out by my condition but it was so very obvious that I had issues(curled up right arm, right leg used to drag behind me) that people very glad to help even if it was to get me out of the way.

Now that I've adapted and have more control over my arm and leg it's not so obvious. But I still have profound stiffness in my leg, a very bad limp and my arm while better does not work to well.

When (IF) I go on a date and try to have dinner, then the arm becomes very obvious and so I try to hide it. Well the women just don't want to be bothered with a short,bald gimpy man.

So the isolation becomes more intense and I tend to close in upon myself.

This when you learn the difference between solitude and loneliness.