Hilarious celeb rant site

[Don Plumley]

Got this link from }{arlequin - www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com

Hilarious! Thought it deserved a thread on it's own. I like snappy, sarcastic writing, here are a few gems:

IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com is the sexiest site on the Internet. And when I say "sexiest site on the Internet", I mean "Paris Hilton is a disease riddled tramp."

I like animals and all, but if I got cancer, and the only they could find the cure was by hooking up a kitten to a car battery, then sorry kitty. I'll always remember you little buddy!

Miss USA is in Denial
After Donald Trump announced yesterday that Tara Conner would retain her crown as Miss USA only if she entered rehab, the 21 year old Kentucky native says she doesn't have a problem.

"I wouldn't say that I'm an alcoholic. I think that would be pushing the envelope."

Actually, what was pushing the envelope was being coked out and going down on Miss Teen USA in bar. Oh yeah, and this. The majority of Southern girls are raised believing that their vagina is a an enchanted kingdom of magic and wonder where dreams come true, and it usually takes the jaws of life to separate any self-respecting one from their panties. This Tara Conner chick banged the entire city of New York. She's Isiah Thomas with a nicer ass.

Miss USA Got Around
Reigning Miss USA, Tara Conner, has been forced to move out of her Trump Place apartment and back to her native Kentucky after testing positive for cocaine and being a slut. The results of the test come after rampant rumors of drug use left pageant officials no choice but to order Conner to take a drug test. In addition, Conner has been seen making out with current Miss Teen USA, Katie Blair, in public and she reportedly sneaked different men into her apartment at night on a routine basis. A source says:

"She has a really bad drug problem. Everyone at Miss USA hated her. She slept with [Blink 182's] Travis Barker and she sleeps with all the club promoters...She was latching onto a crew of promoters because she had no other friends and she was using them for drugs. She started utilizing hip New York City people in the night-life scene to feed her addictions. I cut her off when she started leeching off all the other people I introduced her to."

Yikes. The only way this could have gotten any worse for this chick is if they found little boy heads in her refrigerator or Osama Bin Laden hiding under her bed. On the bright side, Tara Conner is the shining example of all that divorce has to offer. I have two words for any dude wanting to bang a hot girl like this: daddy issues.


And my favorite:

While preparing for her role as a stripper in the upcoming film, I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to get covered in bruises. Page Six reports:

An e-mail she sent to pals last week has the subject title: "They're all whores, they're all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!" Lohan wrote in the note, "So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the ****s now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."


Her representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, says:

"She's been in rehearsals for the film and has been taking classes from Sheila Kelly. Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn't easy. We should give these women credit."


I seriously wonder what kind of industrial strength dinosaur tranquilizer Zelnik has to take to fall asleep at night because of Lindsay's rambling drunk ass. Zelnik isn't a publicist anymore, she's The Man with the Yellow Hat. But instead of shaking her head because her cute little monkey stole some balloons at a picnic, she has night sweats because Lindsay can only seem to figure out how to use a Blackberry when she's high.

[scottmandue]

A guy goes out and bangs a hundred women and he's a hero.

A woman goes out and bangs a hundred guys and she a nasty disgusting skank.

All hail the double standard!

The beat goes on....

[m21sniper]

I got news cuz, if i was a chick i wouldn't want a dude that'd banged 100 chix either.

It's the chicks that allow the double standard to flourish. Hell, they ENCOURAGE IT by literally throwing themselves at 'badboy' types, regardless of the protestations of their daddies.

Ask me how i know.

Also, you don't often see famous dudes going down on each other in public bars. It's certainly not my fault that some chix behave as total wanton sluts. I sure am grateful for it though.