Back before civilization began in Oregon, a buddy & I went on a road trip in my '65 GTO. Now up here, if in a town, there seemed to be a service station every few blocks...and the old goat could always use a few gallons of 102 octane leaded gas. Between towns, plenty of trees to hide behind along the roadside.

We found ourselves entering the SF bay area...nowhere to go! I mean, at least an hour before I could find a gas and drain stop.
Since my buddy was in the worst condition, he went first, I stayed by the car. He emerged from the John, and said words of wisdom I remember to this day...

"Man! Nothing is as overrated as a piece of tail or underrated as a good piss when you really need one!"

Didn't Tycho Brahe die of a ruptured bladder?

I dont get the elevator thing either. If you make it to the elevator you can make it to your room. My first semester at LSU I lived on the 12th floor of a dormitory and the elevators were covered in piss everyday. It didn't matter what time it was, they always smelled like piss and the floors were always soaking wet.

I don't remember exactly when they started enforcing the law there, but Id never even seen an indoor bathroom in New Orleans until around '97. Everyone just pissed right in the street or behind a dumpster or car.

Then you've never experienced the use of positive G-force to expedite evacuation...

Positive G-force would be when the elevator goes up, right? In an ideal world, where friction doesn't exist, is the evacuation measurably slower when the elevator goes down?

No but I guess it could hit your chin...

Not if you stood on your head. Either way, it seems like more trouble than its worth.

I was on one of my many trips up the Cali coast line, funny thing the night before at Monday dinner a lady at the sushi bar said "you know if you get up at three AM you will miss all the traffic" (Tuesday) and I'm thinking "yeah right, I'm going to get up at three AM on my first day of vacation"
So guess what, that night my eyes pop open at three AM... I was already packed and of course and all I could think about was "if I leave now I will miss all the traffic". So off I went into the darkness, I stopped at a 7-11 on my way out of town and picked up a big soda to pump some caffeine into my system. I drove like the wind until after about an hour and a half I hit Ventura and had to go. No problem I think to myself they have a beach with three or four heads... yep, you guessed it... all locked up tight... and I can understand that the city of Ventura doesn't want to sent up late night shelters for drug addicts but that is not helping me now. I had just gassed up the car but figured WTF, found an open gas station, bought a bottle of water and used the head.

And for you "just hold it" guys all men are not necessarily created (physically) equal... haven't you ever seen a porn movie? :D

So we are on the slopes in Kaprun(Austria) when my friend Ron has got to go bad #2..bad ..like now. So we schuss to the next Gaststube on the mountain.
WC is in the basement...skiers will know .you cannot RUN in skiboots.
Ron is bouncing as fast as he can , and I'm sure that did not help his situation either.
Hurrah the WC..20Pfennig bitte (Loo is locked until $ is sloted) he has no coins
Cannot slide under the stall door,
so picture this
Ron, short guy trying to climb over the stall wall in skiboots..
ha... he made it..now to look for the Charmin..20 Pfennig please
he just ripped the curtain of the small window..
Rika

At least the cops didn't shoot you.

ha shuie! The dorms are a mess at LSU. A bunch of my friends live in Herget, they recently put in cameras in the elevators.
After and LSU game I decided that I needed to walk to my friends house that lived just off campus. By this time I had drinken many a beer. After about a mile I was just pissing on trees in golf courses. No sense in causing extreme pain.

A few years ago, after waiting in line for over 30 mins. at a local bar for my 30 seconds in the restroom (many women were bartering their way into the line for the men's restroom and it wasn't getting any shorter), I decided to take a walk outside behind the bar. Just as I'm nearly finishing up a squad car pulls up behind me in the alley. I tuck and zip and turn around. The officer asks me if I did what he thinks I was doing. I said "Nope, you got to me before I had a chance to start." He advises me to go back inside, which I do, with a large wet spot on the front of my shorts. Fortunately everyone just assumed I spilled my beer (or had one spilled on me).

Yeah, I got that goin' for me....

...which is nice.

Yeah, those guys can "it" a lot longer than I can. :)

Yep, always need to be careful with planes, I've been in situations where we've been stuck on the tarmac for 2 hours, or even longer circling waiting to land. No toilets during this time.

Having said that, even with the seatbelt light on, if you're flying First Class the attendants will let you do pretty much anything. It's economy where things get scary... if they let one of you go, then everyone else will want to go as well!

speaking of La. ...

was at Mardi Gras after Katrina and a young guy pissed on a dark SUV parked a few feet down the alley - it was a lot closer than the nearest can and I guess he didn't want to miss the parade

too bad for him tho -- it was an unmarked cop car and they pounced on him like cougars on a Smithfield Ham; cuffed him and hauled him away

a friend used to be a lawyer practicing in NoLa and she said that public urination is treated as a sex crime there (unsure if state or city law) -- you are on the permanent list of sex criminals and your home address will be all over the internet

Anyway, to answer the original question, I once had to go on the side of a Swiss motorway after a truck overturned. God knows how much gaol time I would have got if I were caught by the police! Other motorists were shocked.

I've been to a bunch of Mardi Gras (early years) and Jazz Fests (recent years, but won't go back since K). NOTHING will get you thrown in jail faster than letting one of NOLA's finest catch you, and I'm serious about that. They take offense to someone releiving themselves on "their" turf, but whatcha gonna do with a million people packed in the quarter and no place to go :(. I remember an Easter beach trip back in college...at first we pulled over each time and ventured down out of view off the side of the road...after MANY stops, it became a line of guys facing the road, junk in hand, pissing in the wind and waving at the girls as they passed. Young and dumb...yep, I've been there :)

edited: Hadn't read down to RWebb's post before I posted...