K&N filter, Cool Collar on my Fram filter, and my SUV still won't go 165 mph!
 

I promised some people that my SUV would go 165 mph. I've added a K&N filter, put a Cool Collar on my new Fram oil filter, yet I'm not up to 8500 rpm yet. Do I need a Steve Wong chip? Can I fit 16x9s? How about Mobil 1?

Anything else to sum up 2006?

Did you add a huge wing on the back? Thats good for at least another 10mph.

Flames paint job? There's another 5 mph.

Lose the back seat, passenger seat and interior carpeting. Spare tire, tool box and sub woofer have to go too. On the test day, eat nothing, have a decent bowel movement and the wind in the rear.

Also get rid of all of the windows, they create drag and add weight. The roof becomes a spoiler without them.

I know this is going to be painful, but you should pull your window motors, the navigation system, the six flat screen LCD TVs in the back, and aquarium built into the ceiling.

Also, halogen lamps are lighter than xenon, the stock steel rims are way lighter than the 30" spinners, and the stock suspension is way lighter than the hydraulic system...

not to mention the brake system. Think about it; metal rotors ,calipers pads, all that weight adds up. get rid of it.

I would suggest that those two items be separate. Having both decent bowel movement AND wind in the rear at the same time can get awfully messy, depending on the amount of movement in said bowels...

-Z-man.

What if the calipers are painted red? Isn't that supposed to help?

That is prime advice. Even generally speaking. But particularly during an intestinal infection with watery diarrhea.

Simple:

Install a gererator. You;ll hit 165 in no time AND spend no money on fuel.

Eureka! I think I've figured it out!!

Follow the logic:
You know that the 'next big thing' in motors is hydrogen fuel cells, right? And we all know that water is two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen. So we can use the water from the watery diarrhea to fuel the hydrogen cell. Adding a little methane gas is akin to installing a nitrous system to a motor. It's perfect! Just gotta figure out how the wind in the rear fits into the equation...

We just need to replace the gas stations with Taco Bells on the interstates, and we'd be all set! You'd just have two choices - Regular Burrito fuel, and Premium E-coli-Burrito fuel. ;)

-Z

PS: Hey, what did you expect in a thread that stared with a cool collar and a Steve Wong chip?!? :eek:

Haven't heard from Loren in a while....

:D :D :D

Just returned from flying in India for a week. Had one... ONE frigging ice cube in a rum and coke and it was living hell for 3 days, and cramping and sick for an additional 10 days with the above situation.

I wanted to go 165 mph out of the frigging country, anywhere, just out of there. Thank GOD for antibotics and I hope I never have this happen again!

Sorry to hear about your ordeal, Joe.

Ice in a country like India is of course begging for a burning sphincter..

On the bright side, I think Z-man is on to something. Who will be writing the patent application? ;)

We had been at this hotel for days without a problem. The other crew had been drinking drinks with ice and no issues at all, and it was one of the top 5 start hotels there, using filtered water, so I got lax. Never again...

Hmm...you sure it was the ice then?

Or maybe you just have a fierce-fully aggressive immune system.

As you know, it is the victim´s immune system that creates the symptoms - not the invading micro organism.

Front desk said that I was one of many. Seems that someone made ice using normal water and got a bunch of us...

Seems someone has earned a good thrashing.. ;)

Don´t know about you, but every doc I ever knew takes prophylactic antibiotics during high risk trips.

And I thought I was being paranoid. Tea & bottled water only and gargled and brushed my teeth with duty free after getting out of the shower..

How many weeks, months, years does it take to get used to the bugs in a place like India?

Problem is once your used to the bad stuff , and then eat something good,
your body assumes good is bad= out of my way...
Rika

I carry Cipro in my bag everytime I go out of the country, so was covered but it still was a beyotch.

Gaiginda,

Not sure if you would get used to it in months, and bet it would take years. I used to live in Mexico, have lived in 5 other countries in my life, so body is well used to third country "pests" but every once in a while something like this bites.

Bummer, Joe.

Dan, one commonly overlooked tactic is to, using a ball pein hammer, make 2" dents throughout the metal body work of the vehicle. If it works for golf balls, it should work for SUV's.

Add chrome and "R Type" stickers, that oughta put her over the top!

EDIT: Damn!, do NOT forget to install one of those "Turbolator" things...the electric supercharger or whatever it is, that'll double your horsepower and cut your fuel consumption to like 50 mpg!

Everyone onboard lean forward.
Rika

#3 sticker.

That technique can also help produce the required "wind in the rear" :eek:

And given Joe's predicament, I suspect that the new hydrogen/methane powerplant will first be developed in India or Mexico. Hmm - I wonder... if they mix bateria-laced ice with E-coli-burritors that may produced some better power - sort of like a cold-air intake system. . .
;)
-Z-man.

i know a guy at BAE who can make available some obsolete rocket motor... only runs for about 5 secs, it's a bit experimental and very temperamental, but he told me he'de give me his pink slip to his Aston if the SUV doesn't hit 240mph...

might require some minor fabrication though...

Hmm - you mean like this?
http://www.ronpatrickstuff.com/image..._15_05copy.jpg
http://www.ronpatrickstuff.com/image...en1_PScopy.jpg

Or how about a Jetson's type scooter for inspiration for a Jet powered SUV?
http://www.ronpatrickstuff.com/images/SCOOTE3PScopy.jpg
http://www.ronpatrickstuff.com/images/SCOOTE1PScopy.jpg

Click here for more info.

Slap on a couple of those Jets, and the SUV will likely hit 165 just prior to melting down to a simmering heap of metal.... :eek:

-Z-man.

PS: Go JETS!

Vinyl, add lots of vinyl. Yellow vinyl.

In Japanese.

Easy 100hp plus. ;)

nope
i mean liquid fueled rocket engine
like the space shuttle, but a tad smaller, just a tad, a smidgeon...

Please do not get me started on this. Every frigging pickup truck and half the 4 wheelers around here has one of these...

Turbo sticker but no turbo...you know who you are. ;)

Simple...get an R sticker and a gigantuous muffler. You're there.

Just let Ghetto racer drove your car. I'm sure he can get her up to 165 or more...

Oh, wait... wrong forum... ;)

-Z

Carbon fiber dash, console and shifter

Nitrogen in your tires

Are you sportin' 22s yet?

You doing 165 mph then yet ??? :D

Ask Alina.

still around?? what kind of mods does that car have by now?
a Roll's Royce V12 Merlin or something? 0-60 in under 2 secs??

Yeah, she's still around. Latest two ID's were fabiraning944 and war944S2. Just spent some time banning / deleting / locking her threads. :rolleyes:

-Z-man.

oh well, at least it keeps you off the street and out of the gutter right?