Home security system
 

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. Rough them up a bit, and a bit of blood on them helps.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside until I get back.

I like it.

Would work in most areas. Only addition would be a recording of a doberman barking inside...

Re: Home security system
 

the boot act actually worked in an area close to Kennedy that turned real bad. The old lady was about the only one whose house wasn't robbed. She said the boots were at the back door every night protected from rain and taken in in the am.