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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: the beach
Posts: 5,149
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Haynes Sex Manual???
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Charlie 1966 912 Polo Red 1950 VW Bug 1983 VW Westfalia; 1989 VW Syncro Tristar Doka |
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01-31-2007, 11:25 AM
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Writer/Teacher
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That's awesome.
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Current Stable: Black 07 Porsche 987 Cayman S: Long-Tube Headers; FabSpeed Exhaust; VividRacing ECU Tune; IPD Plenum; 997GT3 Throttle Body. Blue 1983 Porsche 928S. 1985.5 Porsche 944 Rat Rod. 2011 Acura MDX. 2008 Mazda 3. Gone But Not Forgotten:Garnet Red 86 Porsche 951("The Purple Pig"). Alpine White 83 Porsche 944 ("Alpine Wolf"). Guards Red 84 Porsche 944. |
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01-31-2007, 11:33 AM
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Hell Belcho
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oz
Posts: 9,249
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considering how worthless the other manuals they publish are, this should be pretty awful
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Saved by the buoyancy of citrus. |
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01-31-2007, 11:36 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 8,279
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Yeah, I'll wait 'til the Bentley manual comes out.
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01-31-2007, 11:41 AM
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from the previews, this reads like a chic plick. i highly recommend sextutorials.com been using it for years.
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chance favors the prepared mind 1987 944 n/a 5spd. who remembers dial phones?. 'STOP FIXING THINGS ONE STEP BEFORE YOU BREAK SOMETHING ELSE" |
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01-31-2007, 11:44 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Sweden
Posts: 5,910
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Are there factory manuals availale as well?
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Thank you for your time, |
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02-01-2007, 07:02 AM
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Hell Belcho
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oz
Posts: 9,249
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Saved by the buoyancy of citrus. |
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02-01-2007, 07:09 AM
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Hell Belcho
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oz
Posts: 9,249
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Operating Intsructions
1. DIRECT THE FLOW OF URINE The penis contains a narrow hose called the urethra that is attached to the bladder. As the urine level approaches the bladder's maximum capacity line, you get the urge to pull over. When released, urine is flushed through the urethra, out the tip of the penis and, according to most women, usually on to the floor next to the toilet. Acting as a regulator for this process is the Pubococcygeal (PC) muscle. This is what you flex to stop urine flow or rid yourself of those last few drops. (It can also serve as an orgasm regulator. See Troubleshooting" later in this document.) 2. BECOME RIGID ENOUGH TO ALLOW PENETRATION DURING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE Your penis is equipped with twin hydraulic chambers. During sexual stimulation, these fill with blood until the penis grows firm and erect. After stimulation ends or there's ejaculation, blood leaves these chambers and the penis softens again. There is usually a recovery or "refractory" period ranging from a few minutes to a full day (depending on the equipment's age) before another erection can occur. About half of the penis is hidden inside the body, even when erect. It is fastened to the pelvis undercarriage for support. CAUTION! Any impact to the area where the penis attaches to the pelvis can disrupt its hydraulic function. 3. DEPOSIT SEMEN WITHIN THE VAGINA DURING EJACULATION Sperm is manufactured inside the testicles, those two ball joints below the drive shaft. From here, it passes into a soft, fibrous organ behind each testicle called the epididymis, where it acquires the long tail necessary for swimming. Sperm then enters the Vas Deferens for storage. This thin hose loops around and splices into the urethra just below the bladder. When it's time to shift into sexual high gear, sperm is mixed with liquid from the prostate gland and adjoining seminal vesicles. The resulting transmission fluid, called semen, gathers in a holding tank, which gradually swells to pinch the bladder shut and prevent urine from trickling in. Finally the semen is expelled from the body via the urethra by a series of muscular contractions.
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Saved by the buoyancy of citrus. |
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02-01-2007, 07:11 AM
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Step 1: Bring woman to orgasm. It should be noted that there are special tools designed to help with this. Please consult your local dealer.
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1987 325 eta |
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02-01-2007, 07:12 AM
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Do you suppose they recommend Swepco?
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Charlie 1966 912 Polo Red 1950 VW Bug 1983 VW Westfalia; 1989 VW Syncro Tristar Doka |
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02-01-2007, 07:01 PM
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This is pretty funny too!
http://www.haynes.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10001&storeId=10001&productId=11629&langId=-1
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1978 911 SC coupe (whenever-I-get-to-the-lake driver) 2008 VW R32 #2846/5000 Past Rides: 1999 Jeep Cherokee Sport-lifted |
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02-01-2007, 07:15 PM
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Low Speed, High Drag
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Hey Wayne, are you going to come out with a 101 positions book??
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02-01-2007, 07:26 PM
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Immature Member
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How about the 16 yr old's sex manual... just one sentence:
"In..., Out. Repeat if necessary."
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1984 Carrera Coupe = love affair 1997 Eagle Talon Tsi = old girlfriend (RIP) 2014 Chrysler 300 AWD Hemi = family car "Lowering the bar with every post!" |
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02-01-2007, 07:49 PM
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2007 Porsche Cayman S
The Viridian Falcon
SOLD! -- The Purple Pig
SOLD! -- Mighty Mouse
SOLD!! -- Alpine Wolf
1987 Porsche 944 2.5
1987 BMW 325e M20 eta
1978 Porsche 911SC 3.0L CIS
1980 Porsche 930
1970 Porsche 911
1984 Porsche Carrera
Eagle Talon TSi AWD
Chrysler 300 AWD Hemi
