This hits close to home as my wife's sister lived with us for a year in 2003. Man, even if a person is a perfect, and she wasn't horrible, it is still quite an intrusion for that long of a period. Your life is disrupted. You can't get up and pee at night without forethought and about a zillion other little things that all add up and get the pot boiling. It puts a lot of stress on everyone.

In your case, I wouldn't hesitate to say, NO THANKS!

TerryH, agreed, but wifey and I have had 2 other long-term roomates that were fine to live with. Her sister was very different. Like I said, it was like living with teenager.

Mikester, she was always great with paying rent. Frankly, I would have been fine with her missing it if she had been more considerate to us. As for it being Wifey's role to deal with "sister issues", my wife is going to be away for 6 weeks this summer. I don't want to be left babysitting

I feel better about this now... I don't feel like I'm being a hardass at all. I'll just boil it down to the core issue... having her sister live with us was too hard on our relationship.

You have clearly done your best and vividly described the consequences. She is an adult. Neither is doing the other party a favor by repeating the chaos. She has got to take responsibility for herself. She needs to do that for her own sake (and yours).

You are in your full right of turning her down and even if you will feel bad about it, you should not have to.

Well, that is my personal opinion at least...

ok This thread is no good without pictures. So, she wants to stay the summer and your wife will be gone for 6 wks. tell her no based on that alone or ask wife to take her with you. My sister in-law lived with us some 19yrs ago and boy she was a night mare. SHE would run the dryer for the socks.....lol

I don't you are being a hard ass for not wanting to go through a difficult situation again, I think that your wife if the one that is being a hard ass. She wants to revisit an already bad situation. That to me is a hard ass. I wouldn't tell her that though. Stick with the touchy feely look how it affected us argument. I think you will do allright.
Got any pics as this may sway the voting.

is she fit? if so , she can come to Rotterdam for the summer...

See #2

nineonenine, sis wouldn't want to tag along with my wife... she's going to Botswana. That's tough enough, without me back home being the babysitter. Mind is made up.

Thanks for the advice folks!