Funny things your kid has said thread...

[Vipergrün]

Play along...

I suspected my 4 year old daughter, Delaney, was lying about something. I told her to tell me the truth and tried to use the whole guilt thing by saying that God was watching too (she goes to a church pre-K).

To which she replied....ok, tell God not to listen.....

What are ya gonna do with that

[vanwyk4257]

When my son was 5 or 6 (he's 9 now) my wife and I were doing homework with him one night and he wasn't really paying attention.

My wife got after him and told him he needed to work hard at school so he could get a good education. She then continued that if he got a good education he could get a good job and make lots of money.

His deadpan response was "Mom, can't I just marry a rich woman?"

I still to this day have no idea where that came from, but it was a very proud moment for me as a father! Even my wife thought it was hilarious.

[RichMink76]

My daughter was about 4 (7 now) and she was having a little gas problem. After a while my wife blurted out "good God Brenna where are those farts coming from". My daughter had this confused look on her face and replied "I think there coming from my butt". I was in the next room and about fell off my chair laughing.

Rich

[livi]

My son Isak, 5 years old at the time, comes running to me obviously upset.

- Where is my car ??!!!!

- I don´t know. Which car do you mean ?

- The one I had in my hand !

...parents are required to know everything..

My 8 year old Julia, back from the dental clinic.

- So Julia, do you know WHY you got a cavity in your tooth ?

- Because the dentist said so..

[Seahawk]

When my son was 2/3, whenever we asked him to do something he wasn't fond of, he'd reply, "Maybe after later."

He'd get it done, but his father's seed of procrastination were clearly at the fore.

[Flatbutt1]

My daughter now 23 then 3 had gone into the kitchen while I was in the dining room. I immediately heard a clatter of pots and pans hitting the floor followed by the patter of Caity beatin' feet outa there. I go into the kitchen, yup pots and pans everywhere, I call her into the kitchen she says" Hi Daddy!" I say"Hi Honey, do you know what happened here?" She draws in a surprised 3 year old's breath , turns to the dog and says"Kilo did you do that?".

[VINMAN]

One day I was standing in line at Home Depot with my 5 yo grandson. He was right next to me . Anyway I had to let some gas loose really bad. there was alot of people on line with me so, I did it as quietly as I could. Figured no body would realize it was me. All of a sudden my grandson yells "hey poppy, you farted". so I said no I didnt,that wasnt me. Then he says "yes it was, my head was right next to your butt, I heard it" Everyone on line started cracking up. I was laughing but I was mortified.

[BertBeagle]

My 2 year old grandson (now 7) upstairs in the hall bath yelled at the top of his lungs "Hey somebody come wipe my butt" with about 10 people standing in the entry below. I would give anything to have that on film.

[cstreit]

So I was at the Blockbuster picking out a movie last week.

My 2 yr. old, Wyatt, was busy dissassembling the candy racks that they put RIGHT BY THE CHECKOUT area to make sure that your experience with kids during check out is a nightmare. I mean c'mon, 300 bright shiney packages 2 feet off the ground right where you stand with your kids? I let him make a little mess now, serves them right for making me tell him NO 300 times. ANYWAY...

Wyatt's speech skills are typical of his age, you can understand him them but sound substitutes are frequent. I give the girl behind the counter my movie, the one that he had been holding for me. He gets a bit worked up and wants to know whats going on with it after I took it. So I pick him up to counter height to watch the checkout process.

It is then he notices the girl holding the DVD directly in front of her and points to it, loudly exclaiming "BOOBY!" in an accusing tone. (which is his word for "Movie") I smiled at her, didn't say a word, and collected my change. She might still be standing there with her mouth open.

[on2wheels52]

"Can I ride the BMW to school?"

Taken out of context, let him the few times he wanted. He's way more responsible in a vehicle than I was at his age (and I have spies everywhere who would report any squidlyness).
Jim

[Nathans_Dad]

Not my kid, but my niece wanted a special toy when she was around 3 or so. My sister told her that they would make a chart and every time she did a chore around the house she would get an x on the chart. When the chart was full of Xs she would get the toy. My niece went after this like gangbusters, she did chores for a solid hour or so right after the chart was made and got 4 Xs. She came to to my sister and asked if she could have the toy yet. My sister replied that there were still lots of spaces left on the chart. My niece looked at her for a minute and then walked off into her room.

After about 30 minutes my sister went to go check on her, she found her in her room drawing on some paper.

"What are you doing, honey?"

"I'm making a smaller chart."

[Dan in Pasadena]

When my son was abou 5 he'd ask never ending question about anything and everything. I would attempt to answer them all and sometimes shows him where he could find the answers himself (no internet then).

One days he asks me a vague question and I respond, "Well, I guess it depends on you you're talking to"

He responds (totally dead faced) "Well, I'm talking to you".

It cracked me up out of a 5 year old. Now he's 25 and we laugh about it all the time. He STILL asks nonstop questions.

[ben parrish]

The other evening, my 3yr old daughter came to me and asked if she could watch a movie. I told her after her bath she could. What I didn't know is that my wife had already told her she could watch the movie before her bath. She goes running into the other room and I heard her say "Mommy, you need to talk to daddy." in a very serious tone. I laughed for a while on that one.