New Threat Levels: Warning
 

My Cousin (who is in The British Army) sent me these new raised threat levels. I shall include his instructions as to NOT sharing this with anyone!!! Please be warned:

This is a restricted document that I have managed to get
my
hands on. Please treat it as such and only pass on to as
many people
that you know -

Subject: Threat levels

Reports indicate that the English are feeling the pinch
in relation to
recent terrorist threats and have raised their security
level from
'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though security levels may
be raised yet
again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. Londoners
have not been 'A
Bit Cross' since 'the blitz' in 1940 when tea supplies
nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorised from 'Tiresome' to a
'Bit of a
Nuisance.' The last time the British issued the top
level 'Bloody Nuisance'
warning level was during the great plague of 1665.

It's not only the English that are on a heightened level
of alert:

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it
has raised its
terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide.' The only two
higher levels in
France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.'

Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly
and
Excitedly' to 'Elaborate Military Posturing.' Two more
levels remain:
'Ineffective Combat' Operations' and 'Change Sides.' The
rise there
was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed the
national white
flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's
military capability.

The Germans also increased their alert state from
'Disdainful Arrogance'
to 'Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.' They also
have two higher
levels: 'Invade a Neighbour' and 'Lose.'

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
usual, and the only
threats they are worried about are NATO pulling out of
Brussels, or the EU
moving to Strasbourg.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines
ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so
the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Excellent! Great way to start the week... with a smile!