Would you bang a co-worker?

[scottmandue]

I tried "dating" a co-worker a few year back and it turned out badly. We were professional about it and there were on official repercussions at work but for a year or so we had lunch almost every day and we were seen quite often strolling around chatting so everyone in the building knew something was going on. Well, we had a disagreement (she wanted to see other people) and we broke it off but then we had to see each other every day at work which made things a little uncomfortable to put it mildly (fortunately she moved on to a different job).

Fast forward to today... female co-worker that I have considered a friend. She is very smart... like scary PhD. smart... but I like that in a woman. We sometime have lunch and have gone out to movies after work even went to a nice classical concert together. We have lots in common and therefor enjoy each others company but I have always thought of her as a very interesting friend. I should add that by my standards she is very "do-able"... nuff said.

One logistic problem, she has no car, I live twenty miles south of work (San Pedro) she live about fifteen mile north (Pasadena) so when we do stuff it is usually after work and I drive her up to Pasadena where we hang out. So I am always telling her how beautiful S.P. and the ocean is and she should get down that way so I could show her around... so she says something to the effect of "maybe I could come over for the weekend and sleep over Saturday" I kind of sputter and manage to get out"yeah that sounds like fun" So I am wondering... maybe friends with privileges?

So what do yall think?

And no... NO pics!

[ros74911]

go for friends with benefits only. enjoy and have fun. no promises. i was in the same situation. i eventually quit after a year. so kudos to you. you have a new friend and enjoy quality time together.

[SlowToady]

No pics?? No advice!

[ros74911]

car pics u mean. if so, it's somewhere here. anything else, none. my advice is enjoy and have fun. don't make things complicated. see how it goes and go with the flow.

[K. Roman]

You should of called the post "why wouldn't you bang a co-worker?"

It's obvious that both of you like each other, I don't get the confusion?

Movies, Concerts, lunch? What else does she need to do for you to get the picture???

Just make sure you PM us a pic of her sleeping in your bed!!!

[stomachmonkey]

Critical info that you left out.

What are your respective positions within the co? Are you at the same level in different depts that have no influence on each other?

Scott

[scottmandue]

I forgot to point out...

Big problem...

If this happened...

I WOULD HAVE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!

Also did I mention I just turned 50 and she is around 35
(not that there is anything wrong with that)

[stomachmonkey]

Does she know about the PP BBS?

Hope not.

If she is into you she may troll it for "inside info" on your interests etc...

You'd hate for her to see this thread.

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by stomachmonkey
Critical info that you left out.

What are your respective positions within the co? Are you at the same level in different depts that have no influence on each other?

Scott

Edit: I'm a tech and she is in R&D for the lack of a better job description

Different departments... different buildings... but then so was girl #1 in the original story. Funny how you can work at the same company and depending on your logistics you can bump into a person almost every day on never see them at all.

We both also like doing outdoor stuff and kicked around the idea of vacationing together... but never discussed sleeping arrangements.

Girl #1 was a pretty painful experience for me (weeks without food or sleep) I'm kind of sensitive when it come to relationships. We are also GOOD friends and I would not want to hurt her.

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by stomachmonkey
Does she know about the PP BBS?

Good point... but naw, very unlikely.

My PPOT alternate persona is ultra top secret.

And the IT guys have everyone here filled with Internet paranoia.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

"bang", yes. "seek relationship with", no. Bad idea. Always.

[stomachmonkey]

OK so no potential for sexual harrasement. That's good.

Men and women can be just friends and also friends with benefits.

Have had both types.

Had one girl on my staff that I used to spend a lot of time with.

Everyone thought we were having an affair.

She had some personal issues that she let manifest in counter productive ways while on the job so after 5 years I had to term her.

HR freaked out. They were sure it was going to get ugly and were all set to get an attorney for me.

Took a while to get them to believe me. I know enough not to s**t where I eat. Besides, I'm a happily married guy and had no interest in wrecking my life over a little "recreational" fun.

I know the girl was into me. I'd say "I like leather" boom, next day she'd be wearing leather pants. "I like skirts" next day she'd start wearing skirts.

Went on a supply run to Staples one day, took her with me. As we are leaving the store she starts talking about Brazillians and I'd never believe what some woman do down there. We get into car and I notice the leather skirt she is wearing has the slit in the front.

Hauled a** back to the office as fast as I could and purposely avoided the short cut thru the parking stack.

[Seahawk]

I met my wife at work...I was doing flight test as an LT and she was an engineer who had some ties to the project I was testing.

Scary smart, a tad eccentric and just what I was looking for.

No one knows what YOU are looking for, but nothing ventured...

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by Porsche-O-Phile
"bang", yes. "seek relationship with", no. Bad idea. Always.

This is the crux of the problem... I think guys can have "sex without relationship" but with a woman (I think) once sex starts a relationship is a given.

If we are friends and do stuff together don't we already have a relationship?

The only reason I would even consider this is because she is very intellectual and may be open to the idea of recreational sex. Did I just say that?

I am a fairly honest and up front guy but I am having a hard time visualizing the discussion I feel we would have to have before getting started to make sure we are on the same page.

[Dixie]

Bang a co-worker? Not where I work! I suspect our company believes they're make out like bandits on a per-pound basis.

[Joeaksa]

Originally posted by SlowToady
No pics?? No advice!

Agree!! Are you a wuss? Then post pics dammit!

Depends on if you see her every day or not. I went out with a couple of ladies at my work but I did not work in that building and did not have to see them unless I wanted to.

Otherwise it can be a difficult thing... but will have to admit that she sure sounds like she might be ready to take it to the next stage. Sit down with her and see if she wants a relationship or FWB.

Photos!!!

[scottmandue]

NO PICS FOR YOU!!!



Gheeze... isn't bad enough I'm discussing this on an open Internet form. Remember how Thom's thread turned after he posted pics of the alleged girlfriend?

Besides I have seen your guys standards and she looks good TO ME but she is nothing like the little Victoria's secrets gals you all lust after.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

That's what I mean. If you're absolutely 100% clear MUTUALLY that this is a "no-strings-attached" sort of fling, then fine. If there's even a hint (or potential) for misunderstanding, I'd avoid it completely.

[alf]

Despite what Harry said.. men and women could be good friends without sex. That said, you want a relationship and or sex or you would not even start this thread

Why not just be respectful and let her lead the way?

[scottmandue]

Just found this on the random pic thread!



according to this diagram the portal from friend to F-buddy is extremely small... but it IS there.

And yes I definitely want to do her... but as someone said "sometimes you have to ask yourself not if you can but if you should." (my paraphrase)