The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
 

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50º Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.

35º Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down.

32º Fahrenheit (0 C)
American water freezes.
Canadian water gets thicker.

0º Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60º Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100º Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173º Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460º Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "Cold eh?"

-500º Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

41º Fahrenheit (5 C)
Canadians announce the arrival of summer, and drive with their convertible roofs down.

Sorry I missed you this weekend, I made it up to Montreal but spent the weekend troubleshooting the electric top on dad's Carrera.

There was a brief break in the weather on saturday afternoon. We put on our coats, hats and gloves and made a quick run around Hudson with the roof down. First time I ever drove a 911!

Ya...the weather was not very cooperative that week end... BUT...This week end will be a very sunny one....finally...! And give my e-mail to your dad if he want to join us for some summer rides...

I'll take my 72 and sunny thanks much!

At least you poor souls in the east know what you're going to get when you sign-up for winter. In Calgary we can be mowing our lawns in February and shovelling snow in June, often in the same year.

It was 16C yesterday - I raked and mowed my lawn on the weekend. 2C with heavy snow in forecast for today.

I shouldn't be Porsche driving (at least not guilt-free) until the city decides to sweep up all the winter gravel around June or so. Snow/gravel could come again by October.

Fat oil paycheques bedamned - I'm about to toss it and head to the west coast, plus I hear mcmansions can be had in Texas for $250k (and that's getting to be like $100k CDN)

Of course $100k will get me 3 miles of ocean front in Shediac.

Maybe a few years ago, but Shediac waterfront is getting pricey. Lots of good waterfront along the Saint John river though. 5 years ago a guy I know picked up 10 acres of island beachfront for 12k. Can only get there by boat, no power. Perfect, if you ask me.

Syl, PM sent

"-500º Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup."

I don't remember it being THAT cold in '67!
Of course they only had 5 other teams to beat. They can still beat 5 other teams in a good year.
Go Make believes!

Les

Q: How many Maple Leafs players does it take to lift a Stanley Cup?

A: Anyone born after '67 will never know!

---

Q: What is the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a 30-year-old virgin on his first date in ten years?

A: The virgin has a better chance of scoring.

---

Q: Why won't the NHL give Hamilton a team?

A: Because Toronto would want one too

Here's the one I was thinking of...

A Saskatchewan farmer dies, and is sent to hell.

The Devil, who had turned up the heat quite high to welcome in his new arrival, goes to visit the farmer.

"Well farmer," says the Devil, "What do you think of your new home?"

"Oh," says the farmer, who seemed be reminiscing. "It is hot, but not quite so hot as the sun beating down on me as I rode my tractor back on my Saskatchewan farm in the summer."

The Devil went a way, unhappy, and turned the heat up as far as it could go. Once it had gotten so hot the Devil himself could barely tolerate it, he went again to torment his newest occupant.

"Well farmer," said the Devil. "What do you think of your new home now?"

"Oh," says the farmer, who was hardly even sweating. "It is hot, but not quite so hot as my barn back on my Saskatchewan farm in the summer."

The Devil left, quite upset that he had failed twice in his duties.

After a bit, the Devil hit upon a plan. He turned the heat off and turned down the A/C up as low as it could go. Eventually, there was snow and ice everywhere...great glaciers flowing from the tunnels down into the Devil's own throne room.

Quite satisfied with the result, the Devil returned once again to torment his ward.

But to his surprise, the farmer was standing out in the middle of a sheet of ice, dancing and leaping around like a mad man.

"Farmer!" yelled the Devil over the howling winds. "What is wrong with you? Can't you see that hell has frozen over?"

"Yes!" shrieked the farmer with glee. "It is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen!

"It means the Toronto Maple Leafs have finally won another Stanley Cup!"

Syl, PM sent [/B][/QUOTE]
Received...thanks Jake