how about?
- paying to go to the head
- $7.50 per gallon of gas
- free heroin for addicts
- dubious immigration policy
- low crime rate because when a crime becomes a problem it gets legalized
- sugar on everything
- all other countries are flawed but don't trash Holland. And Queen Beatrix is off limits
- poffertjes

LOL

forgot the good old "TBS met dwangverpleging" for violent criminals
and then have them do field trips, with "guidance councelors" who can't use any force to stop them from running away...usually to be caught within days after having repeated their crime of choice..
that has got to be the saddest one of the lot

then the parliament, where they do debates, and if mp1 , debates mp2
they constantly start every sentence adressing the chairman of the parliament , instead of eachother, it's hilarious to see

mp1 , chairman x, i wonder if it's not better to have tax on potatoes instead of on fries, the potatoe tax is ludicrous

mp2, ,chairman, i resent this insinuation, i demand and apology from mp1

mp1 , chairman, mp2 can resent all he wants, the facts are there

mp3 , chairman, i like to add, that what mp2 said about it beeing ludicrious is indeed resent full

mp1 , chairman, i'de like to thank mp3 for his comments


and that goes on for HOURS.

belgian parliament would be more of a monkey house

mp1 , your potato thing is just plain stupid
mp2 , well, stupid is what stupid does bucko
mp3 , i think y'all are both stupid
mp4, that's it, i'm off to the pub, gimme a ring when it get's interesting

Sounds like I'd fit right in...

in TBS?
:D

Re: here is a guide to the dutch:
 

I'll have to think about that one.

Ok Stijn, you asked for it.....

Did a bit of checking about the characteristics of those from the rebellious Dutch province of Belgium, restricting myself to only free sites of course, and remarkably, there was quite a lot of material....all equally true as well....



1. Asparagus: Treasured and worshiped annually in Belgium for about a month. The sadly short asparagus season is an annual opportunity to spend a vast fortune on green and white bits of wood dripping in garlic and butter.

2. Bakery: Warm and cosy Belgian building in which a variety of forms of happiness can be obtained in exchange for one or two coins. No matter where you stand in Belgium, you are within 100 metres of a bakery. Transformed on Sunday mornings into claustrophobic spaces full of robust women purchasing enormous paper boxes of sticky tarts.

3. Bart: The name of all male Belgians from the top flat bit.

4. Brick: The basic atomic unit of Belgium. Belgium is in essence a pile of bricks. Mainly comes in a muddy brown colour, but occasional yellow, red and tan variations can be almost pleasing to the eye.

5. Bruges: A small town in the west of Flanders, entirely occupied by English tourists and lace shops.

6. Brussels: A particularly large pile of bricks and concrete located roughly in the middle of Belgium. Full of foreigners.

7. Bureaucracy: A Belgian art form. The process of making an apparently simple task rather less straightforward than it first appeared by positioning carefully drafted bits of paper between the subject and their desired object. Can often be circumvented by discovering an appropriate shortcut (citing the name of an appropriately eminent Belgian, ignoring the rules, obstinacy, etc.)

8. Coast: A strip of sand at the western edge of Belgium that the entire country flocks to when the sun comes out.

9. Cobbles: Common ancient road surface of which thousands of kilometers remain throughout Belgium. Probably acts as a fertility control by rendering many inhabitants sexually sterile after spending their formative years navigating cobbled roads on a bicycle.

10. Congo: The Belgian empire. A bit politically sensitive. Say no more.

11. Customers: People who lack the patience and understanding to appreciate how hard it is to run a business in Belgium. By treating them with the disrespect that they deserve you will force them to appreciate the personal sacrifices that those in Belgian service industries are making for them. Adopt the maxim "the customer is always wrong" and your business will flourish.

12. Duvel: A legendary trap for foreigners. A seemingly harmless golden liquid that looks refreshing and spiritually uplifting. In reality a brew of the devil, designed to reach into the soul and extract foolishness, talkativeness, speech disorders and nausea.

13. Eurocrat: Overpaid undertaxed foreign temporary resident whose friends are also overpaid undertaxed foreign temporary residents who serve on committees to investigate the development of research programs to promote concepts of sustainable growth in marginal regions and to raise money to overpay undertaxed foreign temporary residents.

14. Europe: A nominal extension of Belgium. Not much is known in Belgium about what lies out there, except that it periodically comes to Belgium and is generally full of foreigners. Europe does provide a useful theme for Belgian souvenir shops, in the absence of a well entrenched national image that can be sold as dolls, t-shirts, teaspoons etc.

15. European Union: A cunning Belgian invention to force foreigners to stop periodically invading them and disrupting the witloof harvest.

16. Foreigner: A person who is not from Belgium. Foreigners are very welcome to visit Belgium so long as they don't make too much noise and remember to leave and take their mess away with them afterwards. Also occasionally used for someone from the "other half" of Belgium.

17. French: A language allegedly spoken by many Belgians, particularly those from the lumpy bottom bit, and concrete bit in the middle. Often bares only a passing resemblance to French spoken in other parts of the World. Also used in Flanders as a collective term for occupants of the lumpy bottom bit of Belgium.

18. Leek: A prolific Belgian winter ground cover, miniature forests of which can be seen in allotments and backyards. Comes in two forms, fat and skinny. Belgian fanaticism over leeks makes the Welsh look like rank amateurs.

19. Lunchtime: An ill-defined time of day that generally spans a considerable part of the 12.00-14.30 slot when useful outlets such as banks, sandwich stores, post offices and bakeries are quite likely to be completely closed.

20. Manneken Pis: The most famous, immodest Belgian. Always smaller than expected (not the least in total height) but no less ridiculous. Likes to dress up. May have had a bit too much Duvel…

21. Mud: A gooey brown substance that covers much of the Belgian countryside for most of the year.

22. Pneumatic drill: Precisely what not to buy an average Belgian for their Christmas. Otherwise they will rush out and join hundreds of their countrymen in the national campaign to prevent Belgium becoming covered in a layer of concrete. Every day these loyal national servants furiously savage vast stretches of pavements and roadway in an endless battle against national concretisation.

23. Rain: A tangible dampness that falls on Belgium exclusively during the twelve month long wet season. Belgians actually seem to think that it rains every day, which is not in fact true. Except in November. And July.

24. Tax evasion: The Belgian national sport. Played annually and gleefully, at its most extreme involving regular mysterious trips to Luxembourg.

25. Wallonia: The lumpy bottom bit of Belgium.

26. Waterloo: The site of one of the turning points in world history, marked by an enormous pile of dirt topped by a copper lion. There is an interactive visitors' centre where the day can be redeemed by buying toy soldiers and watching a surreal film about some small children running through a hay meadow.

27. Witloof: A curious bitter vegetable that is positively venerated by Belgians. Adoration of this vegetable reaches its peak during the winter season, when crowds can be season inspecting and sniffing candidate purchases at market places. Referred to as "chicory" in other countries and usually fed to pigs.

28. Yves: The name of all male Belgians from the bottom lumpy bit.

I suspect you have "Hollandized" (Hollandaised?) your name....it was really Bart or Yves originally wasn't it?

I may have to have a drink now, too much truth for one night....

Dennis

mate, Stijn is a very Flemish name, it's definately not a Dutch name
but other then that, no arguments with yer List

i have made many Victims with my #12

cobblestones rule, anyone who drives a RWD Porsche going up a 20% incline on those, in the rain , with wheelspin at speed and keep it together, i will never question yer driving skills again

This is all way too good!
Subscribed!!!!

forgot a few things about Belgium :

- armed robbery , bank robberies, sticking up armoured transports
none of that petty criminals like er "holleeder" who get's stressed on trial, our crims are hard!

- Charleroi, where the Po-lice asks permission to the outfits if it's safe to go out that day

- Busted up highways (from all the Dutch Caravan's en route to France )

- Cycling mania , "Wiellerterroristen"
everywhere from april to september
make nasty scratches on yer automobile when you run em over

- Pipe smoking contests
all light smoke, last one to go out, wins

- "Vinkezetting" (everybody brings a bird, contest is to have the bird that sings the most songs in an hour, mark with crayong on a chalkboard)

- Eddy Wally
don't ask

- Pigfarmers
obvious

- pigeon sport

- Waterkonijn (water rabbit = ww1 trench cuisine with rats)
quite tasty actually, no wild rats , but bred for purpose these days

- Rijskwacht (state troopers, all with moustache, very good at bugging people, intimidation intimidation) used to be military branch with military ranks till they merged with the normal cops

- PTT ( former national telecom, Pintje drinken , Tentje zetten, tukejs doen , dring a Beer, put up work tent, have a nap)

- when people visit(this is more flemish then belgian)
ask em to stay for dinner, guest says, no , don't wanna impose, but no, no worry, stay over, no no, gotto go , commooon staaay, well, oookaaya(both know the outcome from the start, it's kinda a ritual)

- when boozing, never ask if anybody needs a drink, if it's your turn, start looking for the waiter as soon as the average drink on the table is at 4/5ths, start panicking if anybody is at half empty...
ignore all screams from those saying they don't want any coz they have (insert any excuse whatsoever)

you forgot Marc Dutroux ! another fine Belgium ;) and your pile of rubbish called Antwerpen :D

Antwerp is rubbish cause of all the dutch that move there for cheaper housing compared to NL....

MD is walloon, besides, we got him locked up properly ... for now :D

Actually Stijn I like droppe. My ex wife is a Dutchie and other than my two children droppe is the best thing she ever did for me. Now double droppe is tough! Very salty.

we have it in Belgium too, and i'll eat it from time to time, but not so fanatical... nasty to the teeth though...not the sort of thing to bring to a date

Gee.....and I was trying to pronounce the "ij" American style....got my larynx all bugged up....had to have some droppies to calm it down again.....

If you can drive up cobblestones in the rain, you must clank when you walk...or have a limited slip (BTW...my Quaife is awesome in that regard).

BTW, the Belgian booze habit is great for us Cloggies....we can just start drinking and the beer keeps on flowing courtesy of our dragooned Belgian hosts. If we are careful, we can be slurping at exactly the moment the waiter shows up so that we can make gurgling noises which **can** mistakenly sound like an offer to buy while ensuring that it is muddled enough that we don't have to pay. Remember that the Dutch aphorism is that you can "save yourself rich"....

In some ways it is the retaliation for catching us out on #6., effect is we die of tulip strangulation, you die of starvation paying off our beer bills....

Love it....

Dennis

no lsd on my car , had some in my blood for some time though...
beer bills in BE are no problem , our beer is cheaper then your beer (migh get cheaper now that the EU commission slapped heavy fines on the brewers in NL for non competetive market practices)

a frenchie stops at a vending machine to get a drink. he watches a belgian tourist put money in the machine, when he pushes a button, a drink falls out.

he picked it up and proceeded to do it again. now, having two drinks under his arm, he puts another coin in the machine and pushes another button. one more beverage falls out. frenchie is beginning to think that he may finally be able to get himself a drink, but the belgian puts his drinks on the ground and puts another coin in the slot.

the frenchie, by now quite annoyed and still thirsty, asks the belgian 'hey! how much longer are you gonna be doing this??'

belgian responds: 'are you kidding??? as long as i'm winning, i'm gonna keep playing!'