Camping in the Desert

[BrokeMyCar]

GF and I are planning a biking/camping trip through Southern Utah/Northern Arizona in May, and have been reading about all the nasty little critters in the desert. Some really freaky looking creatures out there!

Anyone have any tips on how to avoid getting bitten by some of the worst ones? Does DEET work on arachnids? Should I spray anything on my tent? Anyone here biked the Grand Canyon Connector? Pictures! =)

Babak

[charleskieffner]

each and everyone of gods creatures are placed on this earth for one and only reason...................TO FUCH UP YOUR LIFE!

first do not pitch tent by pack rat nests. reason rattlers,(crotalus mega death), coexist w/mr. packie rattus(fattus rattus) and they have hanta virus. well their lil fleas have hanta and the rats pooppy has it also and it becomes airborne.

also the lil darlings co exist w/walapai tigers or assassin bugs. these leave a nice welt after sucking you dry of blood. their really neat to splatter to holy hell w/your sandal, leaving lots of blood to show all your friends. you will never know you got nailed because probiscus is sharper than any needle known to man. leaves a nice treasured welt for weeks.

centipedes.......well not a big deal. milipedes like wise.

red ants........dont camp w/them.

bees......africanized will run you down for a mile and a half swarming and stinging until you DIE! bring good running shoes.


wasps hornets.......see centipedes.

skunks, grey squirrels, antelope chipmunks(chip and dale variety), all can possibly have plague(BUBONIC not EUBONIC) and or rabies.

bob-kitties-racKOONS-ditto

mtn lion..........just have a gun pick flavor .357-41-44-45. will do the trick.$10 resident tag. non rezident ?

bears...see mtn. lion. look up washingtons olympic peninsula wilderness or olympic national park, bear hints. giant PITA and the can FUCH UP YER LIFE!

condors...dont mess with unless you like levanworth-kansas

javelina blind/dont corner. see mtn. lion

buffalo....see condor above

antelopezezzz -enjoy.

elk-enjoy

deer-enjoy

fish-trout lees ferry

grand canyon. rim to river/rim-rim/rim to rim to rim/bright angel/havasupai/hermit trails. trout in colorado river below.
squawfish/darter dace/pup fish/endangered-see condors

mormons..............ALOT! your regular flavors and then the goofier than hell fundamentalist ones. you will think your in the twilight zone. big daddy w/giant cowboy hat and belt buckle will get out of 10 passenger ford excursion and all (9) women and kids will look exactly like they came out of same GENE POOL! funny how that works. and their all dressed the same! of course you will be slobbed out from being on road/stinking to holy hell/ g/friends hooters swaying in the wind etc.(actual true story) and they will not give you the time of day! nor directions. now maybe if you said you wanted to convert, well then they might be helpfull. plan on lots of staring.

utah highway patrol.........see mormons....be cool!

utah sheriffs..........oh these are always fun. ones we ran into were real DAR DARS! asked for directions and didnt have a clue.

az. highway patrol.......be really cool, because nearest jail will be filled w/lots of drunk navajo indians. always a rip roaring time on sat. nights! DO NOT DRIVE AT NIGHT ON REZ UNLESS YOU HAVE DEATH WISH! mega lots of drunk indians! trust me on this one!

next we have lil mr scorpion. its the lil ones that are DEADLY! barkius(bark) scorpionus mega ouchiness. see screens on tent. dont try and be cheap on tent. buy 4 season north face or sierra designs. windstorms are nasty. especially when navajo sandstone blowing thru air!

mosquitoes(skeeters) west nile virus. yes DEET will work...kind of. bring netting if camping by water and make sure yer tent has no-seeum screens.

water purifier............gots to have.

maps...........gots to have. gps...gots to have, unless you like being lost. after awhile it all looks the SAME!

beer.........ya aint gonna find much in utah! trust me, i looked. po dunk towns around state are dry.

escalante...........unreal.

kanab........unreal.

bryce canon......unreal.

fremont canon.......unreal (had sex in fremont river-hahahahahaha)

zion unreal. real no brainer here. spend a month easy!

dixie national forest.........dont screw it up!!! i will be back there again this summer!

saw one porsche entire trip in henri-ville. slant nose turbo coupe. had been sitting for ever, it was red. parts for porsche.........salt lake city.

when i do it again.......not if, this summer, will bring plenty of beer, lots of ice, more tubes for mtn. bike. more water.

get sierra clubs book on utah. very good info. and we used it daily.

plan on 2 days bryce, 2 days zion, 3-5 grand canyon, years in the dixie national forest, years in the escalante, and your travel time.

enjoy.

[charleskieffner]

[kach22i]

charleskieffner, your list is freaking me out.

BrokeMyCar, come camping in Michigan, all we have is a few mosquitoes, and further north black flies certain times of year.


http://www.michigan.gov/deq/0,1607,7-135-3313_24554-68318--,00.html

[charleskieffner]

knowledge is power..............been hunting/fishing/camping/shootin/4 wheeling/spelunkin/mtn bikin/dirty bikin/all my life!

you can always go to the holiday inn!

but doing the wild thing in the middle of the fremont river w/no one around for many many miles just does it for me!

in general and for the most part............. I HATE PEOPLE! so when faced w/people i go to the most remote spot/last mapped in contigious 48 states and there are no people! amazing huh!

but when in outback you must be prepared...............OR DIE!

i think it all stems from being a life scout/order of the arrow/ and just shy of enough merit badges to be an eagle scout!

bet you didnt see the concealed .45 micro springfield on me did you? most, if not all, do or never will, unless they lak to start crap!

[kach22i]

Originally posted by charleskieffner
bet you didnt see the concealed .45 micro springfield on me did you? most, if not all, do or never will, unless they lak to start crap!

Nope, can't see it.

My builder friend just picked up the new Glock 45, nothing compact about it. It's a lot of gun, nice too. It does not have the bulge in the handle the way the old one did.

[Moneyguy1]

Tent must have integral floor. Have had the legless critters slither under and out. Very disconcerting to feel something moving under your sleeping bag!!

[charleskieffner]

remember mtn bikes are considered vehicles. same as trucks jeeps, dirty bikes.ATV's. if it says no vehicles...............they mean no vehicles. hefty fine and lots of BLM guys/gals packing heat to enforce laws.

unattended fire will "send you to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars" all backcountry travelers must now carry shovel/pick/water for attending to fires. if you leave campsite just a 100 yards it is considered "unattended" and they will whack your pee-pee, fine the hell outta you and generally make yer life miserable beyond all belief. ask me how i know. buddy left unattended fire, flagstaff federal court, nailed him to cross. left ticket on vehicle. ranger poured every liquid they had at camp on fire. that = about 6 cases of beer/cokes water etc. they made a point!

[scottmandue]

I LOVE Utah... have been there several times and will be back soon.

RE: Charles list of nasty little critters... there are lodges and motor hotels within a few miles all state parks and trails, more expensive than camping I know but... uh... see Charles list of nasty little critters.

I love all of God's creatures but I don't want to sleep with them!

Besides I bet you girlfriend will really appreciate you getting a hotel room instead of having her sleep on the ground (nod nod wink wink)

[charleskieffner]

everyone including us dyed in the wool dezert rats need a shower after a week-10 days. my g/friend was in the shower for hours when we finally got cabin.

you got a hell of a girlfriend if she can last 2 weeks w/out a shower.

[pwd72s]

Must be little bears there...I'd want more knock down power than a puny .45. 30-06 might be enough...

[BrokeMyCar]

Shhh Charles- I was thinking of pointing her to this thread at some point, now you're gonna give her an even bigger head. Gosh if your list isn't encouraging me to do a credit-card bike trip instead though - there's not nearly enough time left for me to learn how to properly use anything other than a shotgun.

Our route right now has us biking from St. George through Zion, then down the to the North Rim of the Canyon, then around the Eastern end of the grand-canyon to the South Rim, and downard to Williams Junction. The part I'm most concerned with is the 5 day north-to-south connection - how do I know where's good and legal to camp? What do rat nests look like?

[Zeke]

Scorpions. If you can avoid them, the rest seems easy to me. Those fv**ers can kill you. They come out at night, just when you really need them.

[RoninLB]

Reservation local radio station talking to the natives cracked me up once.


"Don't drink too much and drive."

[charleskieffner]

pack rat nests are about 1-3 feet high. cant miss em. filled with all sorts if discarded natural and unnatural items hence the name pack rat.

obviously your mistaking our state for some one who gives a damn about bikes motor or otherwise. today for example 55plus mph winds. now having riden all sorts of 2 wheeled contraptions, tangling with traffic is no fun. i have been hit by a car and believe me YOU AINT SUPERMAN EITHER!

this is the west. all organizms flock to water. period. all water will either be polluted or dried up by may. your talking a hell of a vehicle drive, let alone on any kind of bike.

i went with the pull anything attack anything(shy of a semi) doolie from hell! loaded w/years of food and not enough beer!

hell stay in utah and buzz around bryce and zion. save grand canyon for another trip. you only cross the canyon on hwy 89(lees ferry-trout) and at hoover dam. any other route or bridge is news to me!

north rim will keep you occupied pedaling for years!

burn a map of route and clock miles. i''ll high lite cool stuff.

hell you want to know about arachnids...........i didnt even get into those...........brown recluse- black widow blah blah

buy a (4) season tent w/floor and no seeum, trust me you will thank me.

why because of days like today when POS tents tear and fly off to other side of planet. also they are designed for high cataclysmic winds.

please go to north face.com. mtn-25 tent(2 people)and my antarctic hotel (6 people)(cousin but beefier than himilayan hotel model) piss ant REI and other bike tents are for the chamber of commerce days, not reality! hell i take these tents to baja and please for the life of me tell me baja is any different than the escalante minus the ocean! bring lots of stakes you loose some.

on windy day like today here be damn careful about widow makers. dont be dumbass and camp under tree with dead limbs! been here and seen this and it aint fun.

sounds like a pretty cool trip if you pull it off and weather is nice.

[BrokeMyCar]

Our current route looks like this:



About 50 miles a day should do it pretty easily-

Babak

[charleskieffner]

heres how to look at things from a natives eye. hear me out on this big time.

first zion is beautiful. but 89 heavily traveled by........you guessed it.........mormons/ranchers/geologists/forest service and worst of all drunk indians. also lots of semis supplying surrounding area with haagan daas ice cream/coke/beer/fuel. i mean lots of traffic!

once down below zion you are in the high dezert. no waa waa! no aqua, no nada! then you reach north rim. water is there thanks to forest service. entry to north rim off of 89. once you leave north rim your back onto the kaibab plateau and once again no mas aqua! until you reach south rim which has water trucked and railed from williams. from williams to flag or vs versa you are up in elevation along I-40 w/pine trees.

in other words zion/n. rim/s. rim park areas/flag and williams will have water and conifer mixed with oak/juniper. every where else is the bleakest crap sandstone in either red or gray colors. and i mean MOONSCAPE!

there is going to be more navajo sandstone crammed up your orfices than you can imagine. kinda like our almost 3 week trip in hell to lake powell one july back in 1991.

may temps in dez will reach 100 degrees. june your gonna die thru until late sept. thank global warming/el nino/la nina!

just be prepared and dont ride at night unless on dirt road or trail. have lights bulbs batteries helmet lights etc.

if you go back country anywhere above flag and south rim. you are in the middle of freaking nowhere. no hospitals no nothing. st george is last big???? town, until flag or williams.

if you see a UTAH highway patrol be cool and tell him your intentions. maybe he will radio ahead and keep an eye on you guys. same with AZ dept public safety. they can give you low down on conditions.

but remember this...........this is where cattle mutilations have occurred. kinfolk have been abducted and molested by aliens, impregnated and then returned to earth to spawn more aliens! many strange night sightings of lights. very strange lights. kinda like AURORA PROJECT LIGHTS! be very aware for they are out there!

hell probably the worst thing thats gonna happen is tripping over tent guy line at 2am while getting up to go pee!

your gonna have a blast. just be prepared for all situations. a snub .38 or .357 w/some snake shot and some hollowpoints will do everything you need. hell thars not that many roads out thar cuz nobody lives thar! cuz thars no water! just wind/clouds/rain/sun/weeds and more navajo sandstone than MARS! note sandstone. locals about 1 million years b.c. put on TIZWIN binge and went nuts drawing teradactyls/martians/naked women/bighorn sheep screwing/deer screwing etc. on this wall. they were bored to tears and had nothing to do. so this was the result of their truly "wasted efforts"!

keep eye out for arrowheads and fetish's. everywhere if you know how to look. think like an indian!

[Jim727]

Charlie, I about spit out my teeth when I got to "mormons"!!

Add one point: Do Not camp in a dry river wash. That thunderstorm in the distance only looks far away.

[Brorag]

I lived out in Phoenix for a few years. I was involved in scouting, running desert survival courses, winter camporees up on the rim, etc
It sounds like some of the hyperbole is getting out of hand and may lead you astray.

Dellinger's rules for desert camping...........

1. Don't camp in a wash. It may be dry where you are, but raining in the mountains. That wash will turn into a river before you will realize it.

2. Carry extra water and a small shovel.

3. I used to sleep out most of the time, without the benefit of a tent. Sleeping out under the stars is like no other experience. There's not much of a dew, so you don't get damp at night.
The other fun thing was waking up the next morning and seeing who visited you the night before. You often find cyote and other critter tracks around your bag.

4. On cool nights, snakes can find your sleeping bag nice and warm, so use a cot, or a tent with a floor and zipper. Snakes aren't going to hunt you down and bite you........but are apt to defend themselves if surprized. If you see a snake, enjoy looking but don't go poking at him, that's where people get into trouble. They will generally let you know if you intrude into their personal zone; there's no other sound like a snake rattle.
We would put on camporees, and generally the critters would clear out when the scouts started arriving, and come back when they cleared out. Those that were too slow to clear out, we would catch and put in an aquarium so the kids could see them, then release them after the weekend. The snakes are good at keeping the rat population in check; rats can carry alll kinds of nasty bugs, (plague/rabies, etc).

5. At night, don't go acting like my cousin vinne and start shooting at strange sounds in the dark--most likely it's some rancher's cows, grazing on open range.

6. Shake your shoes out in the AM before you put them on--scorpions. It's the little transparent ones that are the nastiest. The big ones just sting like a bee.

7.There are lots of tarantulas. They are harmless; well, they will sting like a bee if you really piss them off. Look and enjoy, but hands off

8. Most of the plants have stickers, so be carefull around them (it's all about their self survival)

9. Scouting has lots of info on desert camping--an example is shown below called "Surviving out in the Desert Southwest".
there are others if you do a search

http://www.usscouts.org/safety/safe_desert.html

[http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1216/is_v175/ai_4001735/pg_1[/URL]http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1216/is_v175/ai_4001735/pg_1

[charleskieffner]

gee thanks guys................i fergot the camping in wash thang! well please great dezert survivalist, TELL ME HOW MUCH IT RAINS HERE IN JUNE! and our intrepid cyclist mentioned may, which is dry also. june for 49 of my 49 years has been the HOTTEST month of year. and i mean friggin hot! but its a dry heat!


since you lived here for only a while.................you obviously dont know weather patterns. 49 years in the same spot in hell gives me some bragging rights.

see us natives survivalists know when its going to rain! you know how? cuz were just lak indians!

when the cicadias start chirpping its a pretty good sign of moisture. but since the sw is at its dryest in april may june. you really have nothing to worry about and can miss out on some good spots. running water= cool breeeezzzzez!

when july arrives cicadias are chirrping their asses off because monsoonal moisture arrives (july 4th is a great day to bet on) from moisture upswelling from old messico(mexico).

this monsoonal movement invades the sw and thats how kiddies we get our monsoon gully washers. dont believe me look up NOAA, they'll steer you in right direction.

if yer hell bent on getting the "eagles" sleep under the dezert sky with you- jive..........and dont want a tent. use a cot. take four(4) soup or coffee cans and place legs of cot in cans w/water. that way critters cant crawl up. since your on a bike disregard.

personally after the incredible amount of scouting/hunting/jeeping/off road racing in baja/ dirt bikes/fishing etc. blahh blah i have done............i either sleep in bed of truck/cot w/cans/or in a tent.............period!

how bad do you want to be bit by a tarantula wasp! watched this happen to buddy sleeping on ground! not a tarantuala but a tarantula wasp. nice shiney black with orange butt w/a STINGER that will scare hell outta you! and that fuched him up fer days!

tarantulas are everywhere around my house..........as well as snakes scorpions centipedes ants etc. remove the food source and they dont bother you.

gave up on how many snakes ive killed. the only good rattle snake is a dead rattle snake! live with them in harmony like i do and you will have the EXACT NON POLITICALLY CORRECT VIEW AS I DO! already killed one on driveway. welcome to ARIZONA!