Nascar humor

[masraum]

I just saw a comedian on "Last Comic Standing" with a couple of good Nascar jokes.

I didn't understand Nascar, but then I met a couple of Nascar fans. If you've ever spoken Nascar fans you pretty quickly realize how a shiny car driving in circles could keep them interested.

I'm not worried about making fun of the Nascar fans because if they start chasing me I'll just turn right.

[Tervuren]

I've finally been out to a NASCAR event, qualifying for a race, the skill level of the drivers! My word! Watching them plant the throttle in a turn, coming out with their foot down all the way to the wall, holding it in faith, bringing it to almost hitting the barrier, then diving in at the next turn...amazing.

There is no way a person could come close to what they do out there, just no way. Its one thing to learn with dirt runoffs if you miss your exit, but to plant the throttle back in the turn, letting it slip out towards the wall, that is just beyond what most people could ever do.

[lendaddy]

Originally posted by Tervuren
I've finally been out to a NASCAR event, qualifying for a race, the skill level of the drivers! My word! Watching them plant the throttle in a turn, coming out with their foot down all the way to the wall, holding it in faith, bringing it to almost hitting the barrier, then diving in at the next turn...amazing.

There is no way a person could come close to what they do out there, just no way. Its one thing to learn with dirt runoffs if you miss your exit, but to plant the throttle back in the turn, letting it slip out towards the wall, that is just beyond what most people could ever do.

And to think they used to do it drunk

[djmcmath]

My last CO, who was a sophisticated and responsible individual, let himself be talked into going to a NASCAR event with the Engineer Officer, who was a warmed-over redneck. He told stories about that for months -- the drinking, the childish behaviours, the mix of white trash and redneck ...

I guess the question then becomes: If NASCAR is so hard, and such a great sport to watch, why is the fan base predominantly of the Walmart crowd?

[Joeaksa]

Originally posted by Tervuren
There is no way a person could come close to what they do out there, just no way. Its one thing to learn with dirt runoffs if you miss your exit, but to plant the throttle back in the turn, letting it slip out towards the wall, that is just beyond what most people could ever do.

Excuse me? These are normal people that jumped in a race car years ago and got used to it.

Its not that hard, trust me. Work up from a dirt track and you get used to it. Had a good friend who drove Crashcar years back and he was lost in a real sports car but sure liked to slide around...

[cairns]

I'm not a NASCAR fan but pointing out the stupidity of the sport, it's fans and the drivers ostensible lack of talent is getting old. I'm certain driving those cars is a lot harder than you think. If it's so easy why aren't you boys out there making millions?

Besides I've seen an awful lot of dumb people at F1 races. Drunken sods half naked and covered in the body paint of the team du jour. Howling at the usual (and incredibly sexist) procession of pit babes standing out on 100 plus degree tarmac waiting for their conquerers. The whole thing is more than a bit silly.

If F1 marketed half as well as NASCAR Bernie would be a lot richer than he is now and I, for one, would be a much happier fan. At least NASCAR doesn't limit the wheel size to 15 inches; the drivers have their choice of tire manufacturers and the cars run on actual slicks- not grooved ballons.

Besides NASCAR doesn't charge you 600 Euros for a grandstand seat. And when sitting there I have pondered the intelligence of spending that and watching a procession of cars driving around in the same order they qualified- with little if any passing and even less strategy. While trying to ignore the chain smoking beer guzzlers on either side of me.

[rcm]

Originally posted by cairns
I'm not a NASCAR fan but pointing out the stupidity of the sport, it's fans and the drivers ostensible lack of talent is getting old. I'm certain driving those cars is a lot harder than you think. If it's so easy why aren't you boys out there making millions?

Besides I've seen an awful lot of dumb people at F1 races. Drunken sods half naked and covered in the body paint of the team du jour. Howling at the usual (and incredibly sexist) procession of pit babes standing out on 100 plus degree tarmac waiting for their conquerers. The whole thing is more than a bit silly.

If F1 marketed half as well as NASCAR Bernie would be a lot richer than he is now and I, for one, would be a much happier fan. At least NASCAR doesn't limit the wheel size to 15 inches; the drivers have their choice of tire manufacturers and the cars run on actual slicks- not grooved ballons.

Besides NASCAR doesn't charge you 600 Euros for a grandstand seat. And when sitting there I have pondered the intelligence of spending that and watching a procession of cars driving around in the same order they qualified- with little if any passing and even less strategy. While trying to ignore the chain smoking beer guzzlers on either side of me.

+1 Although I really like this board I sometimes wonder...

[id10t]

Lets get Wayne to make a few extra mil and start a new racing class with really stock cars...

"gentlemen, your budget this race is $43,433 plus $10k for safety modifications. Your shopping area is Miami, and you race in 14 days. Good luck"

Change it up - have a few races with a max budget of $10k + $10k safety equipment, and one or two with $200k budgets... make 'em run truly stock cars.

[legion]

See, and I go to the NASCAR races in Joliet every year. At $150 a seat--and even more for pit-passes and such--there isn't much of a redneck factor. What there is is a bunch of professionals blowing off steam for a weekend by pretending to be rednecks. Any given Bears or Cubs or Sox game has a rowdier crowd. The police pressence at these events is unreal--over 1000 police officers, many on horseback, keeping the peace.

Even if NASCAR isn't the most exciting thing to watch, no one can argue that it isn't a driver's series. The cars are pretty identical, so it is driver skill and strategy that makes winners. Also, it is currently paying drivers the best of any series (except maybe F1)--don't think for a second that IRL and ALMS drivers wouldn't rather be living the NASCAR lifestyle.

[KFC911]

Originally posted by djmcmath
...He told stories about that for months -- the drinking, the childish behaviours, the mix of white trash and redneck ...

Over the years, I've seen very little of this type of behavior at Nascar races, and it pales in comparison to other professional sports (and college football games)...he must not get out much.

ps: Tell him to quit talking about me

[NICKG]

Originally posted by cairns
At least NASCAR doesn't limit the wheel size to 15 inches; the drivers have their choice of tire manufacturers and the cars run on actual slicks- not grooved ballons.

Besides NASCAR doesn't charge you 600 Euros for a grandstand seat. And when sitting there I have pondered the intelligence of spending that and watching a procession of cars driving around in the same order they qualified- with little if any passing and even less strategy. While trying to ignore the chain smoking beer guzzlers on either side of me.

last i heard, a good seat at alot of nascar races is pretty expensive..and alot of places are not selling out because of high ticket costs.
Nascar ABSOLUTELY TELLS the people what tier they run..goodyear. they also ABSOLUTELY control the race, the drivers and even the media..no free speech there. ask tony stewart, who was fined for talking bad about the debris cautions (it was called "actions detrimental to stock car racing")
racing prefrernce is like women..everyone like something different.

fyi..Montreal GP tickets were cheaper than Pocono tickets...last week

[cashflyer]

Originally posted by cairns
At least NASCAR ... drivers have their choice of tire manufacturers...

No, they don't. NASCAR has an exclusivity deal with Goodyear. The contract runs out at the end of this season, and other manufacturers are expected to bid against Goodyear for the new contract.

From racewayreport.com
When Goodyear's exclusive contract with NASCAR runs out, apparently at the end of 2007, both Bridgestone and Michelin are expected to bid for the new deal.

[KFC911]

Originally posted by NICKG
last i heard, a good seat at alot of nascar races is pretty expensive..

Even a "cheap" seat is expensive. As legion stated this isn't the "Walmart crowd" that everyone seems to stereotype them as...

[Jims5543]

Great Article in this months Racer Magazine about the Tony Stewert comments. The article was called the Great Retraction. It seems Tony had a headache and was grouchy and did not mean what he said initially.

I only have 1 issue with Nascar and that was the fake caution periods that everyone stands around and pretends ar O.K.

I was following JPM over from F1 and lasted 1/2 of 1 race, Homestead last year, I could not believe the BS with the caution periods. They lost a potential fan, like anyone cares.

[RallyJon]

As legion stated this isn't the "Walmart crowd" that everyone seems to stereotype them as.

Which makes it even more pathetic.

What's worse, a Wal-mart crowd that can be entertained by that crap, or a supposedly more upscale crowd that is also entertained by that crap? Define the crap first, then you can draw a pretty accurate assessment of the slack-jaws who pay money and spend their leisure time watching it. Some people mistakenly think it's the other way around and that if the crowd is wealthier, that somehow makes NASCAR less of a farce.

A bunch of MIT grads watching a cow poop are still watching a cow poop.

[azasadny]

If you want to see white trash/redneck bad behavior, come to a Red Wings hockey game in MI. I guess there's enough idiots to go around and any sports event has enough of them to make a negative impression on a visitor...

[jjone20]

The Mrs. and I used to go to NASCAR often years ago. It was a progression from the short track stuff we both grew up watching in the NE. It was fun for a while but we stopped going in the '80s when it took off. Plus we had kids and NASCAR events aren't kid friendly in my view. I also spent a lot of time at Lime Rock (praise the Lord) and developed a real love of sport cars - especially Porsche (I've got pictures of Gregg, Holbert, at al in the old days). NASCAR gets the redneck brand honestly, but my issue is with the management more than the fans. It stopped being "real racing" a long time ago for me. More WWF, as Stewart said. I don't agree with the highbrow/lowbrow stuff, but I equate many NASCAR fans with Europe's football hooligans. I have to laugh at some folks who consider themselves "big fans" of NASCAR but don't know who Turner or Weatherly were. I guess for them, the world was created about 1982.

[Racerbvd]

Do you guys know the difference between nascar & ALMS??
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In nascar, they race $100,000 cars for a Million dollars, in ALMS they race Million dollars cars for $100,000

BTW, SCCA still has with really stock cars...

[KFC911]

I'm not much of a Nascar fan anymore, but I still go to a race occasionally. RallyJon is correct...when my buddies and I go, it could just as well be for "watching cows poops" 'cause we're going to have fun whether there's a race or not . It hasn't been about racing for years...it's all about M&Ms, just like every other big $ sport.

[911boost]

Hey Art, I resent the Red Wings comment, come on man....