Very proud Mum - football grand final; our boys win!

[lisa_spyder]

OK, so most of you wouldn't know much about Australian Rules Football...but it's a GREAT game and for some of us Aussies it's HUGE!

Tom (just turned 15) had been sick all week - our town has had a "bug" running loose for the last couple of weeks and it's gone through the schools and community. Nasty virus, not quite the flu but still bad enough to lay him flat all week. With the doc's guidance he managed to be well enough to play in his football Grand Final yesterday...top team; finished 1st on the district ladder (only defeated once all season).

Well, he had no energy (I told him this would be the case) - every quarter break he was telling me he didn't have the legs...but he played out the game and in the second half he found "something" and really got into it. Coach, trainer and runners were watching him like hawks and kept his fluids coming. The whole team looked lethargic in the first quarter and for the first time in the season we were trailing the opposition. Half time and we were a point down...

The other team played hard, their coach is an incredibly aggressive character whom I dearly wanted to snot in the nose - he was so negative and abusive to his boys. It was hard to listen to given our coach is positive and supportive all the time. These kids range in age from 13 -15; our coach kept reinforcing their strengths to them and asked them to give more for each quarter...he asked; didn't abuse or yell. The boys all adore him and his staff and they rose in the 2 last quarters and sank the opposition.

It wasn't the best game of footy I've watched, scores were low; ground was badly cut up and the centre was a muddy swamp as it had been used all weekend. Tom was sweating and looking a little pale by halfway through the game...but he wasn't coming off for anything! Coach didn't want to take him off either unless Tom said he couldn't play on. All the boys knew he wasn't really well and they were encouraging him too. Great bunch of kids who always play as a team - and their ability to work as a unit and support each other paid off. For the Aussie Rules supporters; it came down to our 1 percenters - good shepherding, good tackling etc.

It was 1 plays 2 on the ladder - neighbouring towns. Between "our" town and "theirs" they had the names of all their players on the roadside poles and the whole route decorated in their team colours. Their parents and supporters were as pumped as the players. The pressure on their kids to win was huge. By contrast we had none of that - we knew we were the favorites and that in itself was enough pressure on the boys. It was no wonder that some of the losing players fell face down in the mud and cried their hearts out when they lost.

By the time the presentations were done and the boys took their victory lap they looked like a bunch of old men - they hardly made it round the ground!

It wasn't the easiest afternoon for me - I knew Tom was sick and I knew the risks of dehydration etc...but I wanted him to dig deep and use his will in a positive way. He showed great strength and courage and I am very proud of him and the team Great job Colts!!!

[Dixie]

Oh... You mean SOCCER!

[lisa_spyder]

Actually Capt I got one who loves soccer (Billy 8) and this won who lives for Aussie Rules ...makes it interesting when we talk about "football" . Aussie Rules is very different from your code; that's for sure. No padding for our boys for starters!

To make it even more confusing - we got Rugby (league and union) mainly in NSW and Queensland...rest of us follow Australian Rules and soccer is getting bigger all round the country, mostly though in Victoria where we are. We're not known as the sporting nation for nothing...

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Capt. Carrera

Oh... You mean SOCCER!

Different program! I saw my first Aussie Rules game in Perth in the late 80's and was wow'ed.
Good on your son, Lisa.

[pwd72s]

Lisa...give the boy a pat on the backside from me, okay?

[Dan in Pasadena]

BIG congratulations Lisa and congrats to Tom too. There is nothing like cheering your kids on throughthe ups and downs and seeing them triumph.

My own "Tom" - we use his full name Thomas (I don't know why!) is a while removed from his days of competition, but I go watch him play adult softball and I STILL get a kick out of it.

Enjoy, enjoy, they grow up too fast, Dan

[lisa_spyder]

Seahawk,

It's a GREAT game - different to any other football code isn't it? Fast, lots of contact and lots of skill. It is a great spectator game - I love a good game of footy!

Paul,

- I am STILL trying to get him out of bed for school today (it's just gone 8.00am)...he is absolutely knackered (and a typical teenager who never wants to get up)...I'll be tapping him on the bum for all the wrong reasons soon

Dan,

They do grow up too fast! Some of these boys are taller than me now by inches ...and yep, like you I get a real kick out of watching any of the kids play their chosen sports. We had friends with us yesterday who are all footy lovers come to watch the game - Tom had a big cheer squad . Mike had a harem of women to take care of - and we all know MUCH more about footy than him (he's not a real fan but loves to watch when our kids play). We girls were all into it - big time!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Lisa, A few days ago my Thomas texted me to tell me he'd joined an adult softball league and had had a good night the night before. He'd gone 3 for 4 and had two assists from the outfield.

I responded that he'd not mentioned to me that he had joined this league and to let me know when they play because I'd like to come watch. He then CALLED me up and asked me if I was going to have one of those lapel buttons made up with his picture on it as a 26 year old! I had to laugh. Yes, I STILL want to go see my boy play. Of course he isn't anywhere near a "boy" anymore and I try very hard not to treat him like he is.

For me, it has been MUCH harder letting them go than it ever was seeing them through the lessons and the m,istakes of growing up. That is why I say enjoy these last few years. Tom is 15? From there to 25 will pass in a heartbeat.

[lisa_spyder]

Dan,

Sounds like your Tom (Thomas) is still doing well - I used to play softball as a kid; it's a great game. But mate, a BUTTON??? You wouldn't dare do that to him now would you?

Charlotte's best friend Maddy made Colts pompoms for yesterday's game so we had the girls on the fence (they are both 10) ranting and cheering like cheerleaders. Charlotte raced onto the field straight after the final siren to give Tom a big hug.

As the boys came off the field I was waiting - they were all covered in mud and I didn't give a toss! I held my arms out to give Tom a hug - "I'm all muddy though Mum"...I grabbed him anyway and whispered that I couldn't give a ***** if he was covered in cow poop; he still deserved a big Mum hug! I then gave a big hug to a couple of his teammates who were just as muddy...one said "wish my Mum was like you" and the other said "wish my Mum was as cool as yours Tommy"...Tom went into the rooms beaming with his mates who kept telling him how lucky he was to have a Mum like me. Truth is I'm the lucky one - he wants me to be involved in what he is doing; for the moment anyway . Doesn't mean I wrap him in cotton wool though...no kid of mine is coming up hanging onto Mummy's apron strings...

[Hugh R]

Congrats to you and your son! I know your from AU, but I was in NZ a few months ago and saw an "All Blacks" game. Man those are some scary dudes!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally Posted by lisa_spyder

... a BUTTON??? You wouldn't dare do that to him now would you?...

Nah....He knows I have this long ribbon in my office that has all the buttons with his picture on it, year-by-year since he started playing when he was 5 years old. He was kidding that I would want one to add to that collection.

The other night I stopped by his house on a Wednesday night to drop something off. This is "poker night" for him and a bunch of his old Water Polo/Baseball buddies. They are all grown men now of course. They each greeted me with hugs and smiles, we all had a beer together. On the way home I realized that THIS was the definition of success.

All the money I (don't) have, means nothing. He and his sister are the measure of my success in my opinon. On that basis I think I have won big time. Obviously, so have you! HUGE congratulations for this.

[lisa_spyder]

Dan

I reckon Mike and I are still a way off calling ourselves successful parents - if my 3 get to theirs 20s and beyond without too many big dramas then maybe we can pat ourselves on the back.

I think we're only just heading into the troubled times - although I think Tom at 15 is (mainly) much more level headed than he was at say 13 ...time will tell. Then we have the daughter - Ms 10 going on 20-something (dynamite). Hopefully I shall be able to outsmart her even if her Dad can't as she is a mini-me in waaay too many ways . Little Mr 8 will no doubt be the one to get into all sorts of mischief; hopefully most of it pretty harmless. If I can check back with you in about 10 years or so...

[lm6y]

Dan, you beat me to it.

If you see a really good kid, there is always a great parent that made them that way. Great kids are no accident, they are a direct reflection of the parents.

I think there are some great People behind these two Thomases.

This is my favorite internet forum. People I've never met, like Lisa, let us all in on some pretty happy, private, and sad moments in their lives. First the passing of her Parents, and now a football game with her son.

Then Dan jumps in and brags about his 26 year old "little boy".

Thanks for sharing guys!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Lisa,
Not to worry. From the sound of Tom you have, and will continue to do great. By 15 they are fundamentally the person they are going to be...and he's a good one.

Katie was my 10-going-on-20 kid. She was near PERFECT as a little child then was a pain in the butt as she went through her teen years. The other day (Wednesday) I spent the day helping her move from Santa Monica to Oceanside (about 100 miles south in SoCal) because she just took her Bar exam in July, got a job, and is awaiting the results in November.

At the end of the day we were sitting on her balcony joking about her teen years. The aliens that took her brain during the teen years (Bill Cosby's joke) apparently have brought it back and she is the sweet, easy, smart kid she was as a little one. It'll happen the same for you. They'll make their mistakes no question, but with a parent like you they will come out just fine. Talk to you in ten!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally Posted by lm6y

...Then Dan jumps in and brags about his 26 year old "little boy"....

Sorry. Occupational....uh....er....parental hazard!

[lisa_spyder]

Originally Posted by lm6y

Dan, you beat me to it.

If you see a really good kid, there is always a great parent that made them that way. Great kids are no accident, they are a direct reflection of the parents.

I think there are some great People behind these two Thomases.

This is my favorite internet forum. People I've never met, like Lisa, let us all in on some pretty happy, private, and sad moments in their lives. First the passing of her Parents, and now a football game with her son.

Then Dan jumps in and brags about his 26 year old "little boy".

Thanks for sharing guys!

No - thank YOU...

Little secret - I threw everyone out of Tom's room yesterday morning (Mike included) for a private pep talk...I reminded him that no matter how things went that he should enjoy the moment; not be too hard on himself and not to have unreasonable expectations of his body given he had spent the week in bed feeling pretty sick. I asked him to go and out play the best game he could and enjoy the feeling of butterflies in the pit of his stomach and to use it positively. I reminded him that ALL his grandparents love(d) this game and asked that he go and and play for his Nana (Mike's mum who passed away when Tom was 3) and my parents..told him they would be watching from wherever they are now...especially his "Sitty" (my Mum) who took such a huge interest in him and his sports these past few years. No matter what, these boys were already winners as they had played so well as a team all season. The premiership was just the icing on the cake .

[lisa_spyder]

Originally Posted by Dan in Pasadena

Sorry. Occupational....uh....er....parental hazard!

Hehe...comes with the job description Dan !

[lm6y]

No apology needed, the thanks went to you too.

Don't ever apologise for being proud of your kids. (I know you were joking!)

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally Posted by lisa_spyder

No - thank YOU...

Little secret - I threw everyone out of Tom's room yesterday morning (Mike included) for a private pep talk...I reminded him that no matter how things went that he should enjoy the moment; not be too hard on himself and not to have unreasonable expectations of his body given he had spent the week in bed feeling pretty sick. I asked him to go and out play the best game he could and enjoy the feeling of butterflies in the pit of his stomach and to use it positively. I reminded him that ALL his grandparents love(d) this game and asked that he go and and play for his Nana (Mike's mum who passed away when Tom was 3) and my parents..told him they would be watching from wherever they are now...especially his "Sitty" (my Mum) who took such a huge interest in him and his sports these past few years. No matter what, these boys were already winners as they had played so well as a team all season. The premiership was just the icing on the cake .

See what I mean! All your kids are going to come out fine because you know the secret that (I think) I happened on too.....TALK with them. Always.
I've got lots of thoughts on this..too many probably but I also practiced, "Expect a Lot = Get a Lot" and "Expect Not Too Much" and you will get "Not Too Much" too.

You're in for such good times as they mature. Lisa, I envy you this time, but I am about to start again as a Grandparent - a whole new adventure and I am telling myself not to assume the same things I practiced as a parent apply - that is for the real parents to do. My role as grandparent is something different, that I suppose I will figure out as I go into it?!