Romantic and Vile
 

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.


I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.


Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.


I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.


I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.


I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
-- Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."


What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Kiss me baby, ...
Nothing makes me sick!.


EDIT: OOPS just realized it's supposed to rhyme, oh well.

I love you so much,
I can't take a s---!


Think that's from an old country music song, can't remember the name or artist.

Isabo,

Love the 'roses are red...' one.

I'll add:

If she burns you up, say she 'sets you on fire'
And you'll always be welcome, you tricky old liar!

Les

In the depths of my heart your love I'll always remember....
While in the back of our garden your body I'll dismember...:eek:

Face of an angel, your full lips do entice,
they'd better, at your back-alley purchase price.

Put a smile on my face!

you fill my heart with love and glee.....
please tell me why it burns when i pee.....

:D