Nature vs. Nurture; self-esteem
 

If you dont have it, how do you get it, or are you f*cked?

Might as well lay down and die. :)

Right! (with the face of John Cleese)

Started writing and deleted. To complex an issue to do justice in a small post.

Basically, I believe, blessed with a 'high level' of genes governing any trait/personality function one will travel a less cumbersome road toward a goal. BUT, with an optimal breeding/training ground providing motivation and initiative chanses are one will come a long way although having to overcome more 'inner resistance' on the way.

Genetic / environmental variance statistics are very difficult to grasp (at least it was for me) but anyway statistics is never applicable to any given single individual - hence, there is always good hope for a truly motivated individual!

"Blissful ignorance" is an attribute in itself. Some people can sing, others can't. I can't, but I sing anyways (until people start throwing things..)

Interesting question, and I think we can all think of an example that "proves" one side or the other.

From my personal experience, having two bi-polar family members, I've seen a chemical imbalance trump their any rational thought.

I'm inclined to say that nature wins every time.

I agree, probably nature. But maybe a few years' stint in the army? :)

My brother-in-law spend 8 months in the Army. 8 months? That's an unusual enlistment term...

He enlisted, recruiter lied to him. ("Yes, I guarantee you will get the MOS of your choice.") Got through basic, got assigned and MOS that was in no way related to his preferred MOS. *****ed and moaned for the next few months. The powers that be decided that the Army was better off without him and he was offered an honorable discharge.

He went into the Army a whiny little ***** and came out of the Army a whiny little *****. ;)

cocaine

Read "The Will to Believe," a short treatise by William James.

Jean Paul Sartre said it is 'mauvaise foi' (or something like that) to say "I wouldn't do that because it's not me." Rather, the statement should be reversed. "That's not me because I wouldn't do that." In other words, our existence precedes our essense. If you do that thing, then it is you. If you do not, then it is not you.

Let's say you are a shy person who has no particular religious beliefs. If you want to change those things, go find some people who are gregarius and religious. Hang with them. Take on theri attributes and behaviors and hobbies and outlooks. After a time, you will wake up one morning a gregarious Christian.

.To get self esteem, you have to stop looking to others for validation.

Self esteem comes from a good sense of self. Look up Dwayne Dyer, The I'm OK You're OK guy. Or check out transactional analysis. LOL

George,
This is a profound psycological topic. Self esteem does not consist of whimsical feelings. It's more a knowledge about ones self. Relying on the conviction that the individual (as led by his decisions, behavior, and spirit) has become a man capable of understanding and coping with the world. It is an understanding that he is able to succeed in life and is worthy of success.

With rational thought and attitude we gain the ability to cope with the world, self esteem is a result of an adherence to reason. A rational, productive person will possess self esteem, but an alcoholic-drug using homeless man will not.

To quote Monique from the movie "Better off dead": (speaking to Lane Meyer, whom we find later in the movie to be rational) "I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you." (Insert image of Lane's black Camaro here)

I'm screwed...........

Lipton wrote a nice piece called "the Biology of Belief". While it is important that your parents have a positive attitude, it is still possible to overcome your genetics and adopt a lasting positive response.

As a very special girl once told me 'it isn't always easy being happy, but the harder you try, the easier it gets..."

There is much truth to this. Happiness is much more a decision than most would ever imagine.

Can't speak to self esteem if you've NEVER had any, but when I was going through my separation-reconciliation-separation-divorce after twenty years of marriage to my high school sweetheart I was low, low, low, lower than that.

I'll spare you the details but I had a sign printed and on my desk that said, "I am having a WONDERFUL Day!". It was so patently ridiculous compared to how my life was going at that time it would make me chuckle momentarily. In that moment I was lifted out of my seeming permanent funk. It proved to me over time that my life COULD be good, humorous, normal and I could experience fun again..eventually. That I had the capacity.

In other words? "Fake it to make it" Works for me!