Got kids? Go hug them, right now...

[Jeff Alton]

Hey Guys, got a story to help everyone keep things in their lives in the proper perspective.

On my way home today after work I picked my 5 year old son up from daycare as usual. We drove home and talked about our days. We came inside and took off our shoes and hung up our coats and I took his backpack to the kitchen to take out his lunch kit and look at the art work from his busy day in Kindergarten and daycare.

Pulled out the artwork and noticed a typed letter in with it. It was from his school. The letter was advising parents that counselors would be comming to Wade's class tomorrow to have a talk about "Lizzie". Lizzie is a girl in Wade's kindergarten program at school with a cute "english accent". She got ill last week and passed away on the weekend, at 5 years old. I don't have any other details. I actually did not know what to do for a few minutes.

So we had supper while I thought about the "talk" we were going to have. After supper I looked through some of the old local newspapers on the table and read about "Emma" who was one of Wade's friends from his pre-school last year. There was a big story about a fund raiser for her, it seems she has a tumor the size of a grapefruit in her lung......

Tough night, and these are not my kids. You see, as I found out, kids don't think that this stuff happens to kids. made for a tough conversation for us. But we were fortunate,we got to talk about it. Wade is still a little bummed out (rightfully so) about the whole thing and is having a little trouble understanding. Me too for that matter....

I can not imagine if something like either of these things happened to my son. I can only assume it to be totally unbearable.

When he was three and had come to grips with his mom and I splitting up we made an agreement, sort of in fun at the time. Our agreement was that if our eyes openned in the morning, then it was a good day. Period. Nothing could make that a bad day, after all, our eyes openned...

I think today I realized just how true and important our little agreement really is. NEVER do you think that something could happen to your children, and here are two families in my son's little community living through it.

We put up our Christmas tree tonight also, there are now two special ornaments on it to remind us how lucky we are.

On a side note, I think I handled the talk with Wade quite well and he "gets it" but if anyone has any tips on how to deal with any feelings he may have over the next little while, pass them on!

Cheers

[911Rob]

Jeff,
My heart goes out to ya brother;
thanks for the message, you're a winner buddy

[HardDrive]

Jeff, your a good dad.

[968rz]

Like HardDrive said "your a good dad".
I've had to deal with the death issue with my 2 kids (boy and girl) but it was family lost not friends (it's hard any way it comes). Best advice is not to sugar coat it, lieing about it to save feelings makes it worse and confusing. Also as you already know; hugs and love works wonders.

Good luck and happy holidays

[tabs]

Being straight forward is the best policy. Children learn how to deal with problems from their parents. If your straight forward, your children learn not to duck issues but to deal with them in a straight forward fashion. Its not what you say that children learn from, but what you do.

[sand_man]

As a father, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that my eyes welled up after reading your post. Thanks for the reminder...

And I agree, you are a good dad!

[Neilk]

Our little one is at my mother's house for the next ten days until we meet them for Christmas. As I was pulling into the driveway, I felt sad that I would have her welcoming me home and then I thought I couldn't imagine not ever seeing her again. Losing a kid has got to be the hardest thing in the world.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

What a great dad you are Jeff! Wade will certainly grow up to be fine young man.

[JeremyD]

damn Jeff - sorry to hear that - but it sure sounds like you handled it well. kind of puts everything in perspective doesn't it?

sounds like you handled it well -

[Jeff Alton]

Thanks guys, good advice in there too!

Wade came in my room early this morning to say that "it was a good day today".

I hope the families that were hit with these incredible tagedies can feel the same way soon.

I think I handled it the way most Dad's would/should. In the big scheme of things the parents of the other children (like us) at that school have the easy part, we still get to talk to our children about this kind of stuff and hug them....

Have a good day

[Hard-Deck]

Jeff, I got tearful over this one.

I have a 19 year old and an 8 year old. We pray together in the morning, dinner and nighttime. I love my kids, hug them everyday and pray they're safe while away from home.

You're a good dad man.

[DARISC]

Jeff,

Regarding your son Wade:
I've not met the little guy,
but I'd bet my bottom dollar
that he knows
what a great Dad he has.

David

[M.D. Holloway]

Your a good man - I bet you were surprised at how well your lil man handled it. Kids are made of rubber, boy do they bounce back!

[jorian]

Nice post Jeff.

[cstreit]

What can you do? Keep doing what you're doing! Keep being open, honest, and available to him as a good role model, that's the best things you can do.