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-   -   Goodbye, you hateful wench (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/385548-goodbye-you-hateful-wench.html)

notfarnow 01-04-2008 12:15 PM

Goodbye, you hateful wench
 
Your last days with me will be spent in the darkest, coldest corner of the garage.

I don't know what your final fate will be. I might sell your carcass by the pound, and before they come to pick you up I'll pull your battery and stereo ... they're worth more than you are now. I may just sell you to some stinky hippie who will clog your arteries with unfiltered veggie oil.

But your days of nickel & diming me are over. If someone asked me to trade you for a good swift kick in the sack, I'd think I made out alright.

At least you had the decency to warn me though, and make an ultimatum you knew I just couldn't abide. You knew I'd never buy you a $1000 injection pump, so you knew that demand would see you to the door.

I do feel sorry for you. We had good times, and I knew you WANTED to be a good car. Every now and then I thought things were getting better, but then you'd stab me in the back. You just couldn't get past your genetic predisposition towards cruel, wanton disregard for your owner.

You were the worst car I've ever owned.

Goodbye, good riddance.

http://www.jakepalmeristheman.com/up...ny6-705579.JPG

sketchers356 01-04-2008 12:25 PM

Sorry for your pain.

notfarnow 01-04-2008 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sketchers356 (Post 3683040)
Sorry for your pain.

Thanks. I'm getting over it. It's major misstep was to pi$$ off Mrs Notfarnow, who will not tolerate taking a cab to work.

Bad move, Regret-a-Jetta. Your replacement has dual zone climate control, and air conditioning that WORKS.... how does THAT make you feel?

sketchers356 01-04-2008 12:30 PM

What are you thinking of next?

notfarnow 01-04-2008 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sketchers356 (Post 3683056)
What are you thinking of next?

I'm counting my chickens before they hatch, but I've got a 99 e300d going in for a PPI in Montreal on Monday. If it checks out I'll fly in on Thursday and drive it back. 24 valves, 244 ft lbs turbodiesel. Should be a nice change

I had lines on a couple '04 Jetta TDIs, but I just couldn't buy another VW.

livi 01-04-2008 12:43 PM

Saying goodbye to a good friend there, Jake? Nothing to fire the emotions like a car. High and low.

notfarnow 01-04-2008 12:56 PM

A friend? hardly.

Truth be told, I never really liked it. I had a jetta I once loved, an 87 diesel with 596000 kms. Sure, it was a tad rough but it had a heart of gold.

But I was taken in by this car... it was younger, it had a nicer body. It had bigger t... err... tires. It even had cruise control, and air conditioning. Air conditioning!! Well, for about a month.

It had intermittant speedometer & odometer, and auto locking brakes. Its non-synchro 1st and second gears harkened back to the early days of motoring. It had brake calipers that were designed to be changed easily, every year. It ate ball joints voraciously, and had an even more gluttonous appetite for tires.

Friend? With friends like that, who needs enemas?

Porsche-O-Phile 01-04-2008 01:02 PM

Ahh, a VW TDI.

The "gateway vehicle" to such reliable beauties as the LandRover LR2, the Chrysler Aspen and the Jaguar S-class.

You're well prepared for any of the above. Or a '77 Oldsmobile Cutlass (assuming there are any still running in the world). Or a 951.

notfarnow 01-04-2008 01:08 PM

Not even a TDI, just a rotten old TD... 1.9 indirect injection engine. Actually, not a bad engine... aside from its propensity for spitting its crankshaft pulley and gnashing pistons & valves, or its tendency to eat k03 turbos.

Ahhh.... memories. (cue music)

http://www.jakepalmeristheman.com/up...115-782198.jpg

http://www.jakepalmeristheman.com/jetta.JPG

http://www.jakepalmeristheman.com/up...y10-757613.JPG

http://www.jakepalmeristheman.com/up...ny7-777805.JPG

NICKG 01-04-2008 01:35 PM

nice reverse gear...just did one in my jetta. call 800 vw parts , he will have your pump...cheap i bet

Moneyguy1 01-04-2008 01:37 PM

Now that my wife is no longer with us, I have fond dreams about taking her cherished '94 Passat VR6 and having it crushed and displayed as a lawn ornament.

Overpaid Slacker 01-04-2008 01:43 PM

Geez, from the title, I thought "it's odd for a Canadian to take such an extreme position on Iowa primary results..."

JP

notfarnow 01-04-2008 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NICKG (Post 3683237)
nice reverse gear...just did one in my jetta. call 800 vw parts , he will have your pump...cheap i bet

I tried, but this injection pump was never on any US cars, just the canadian 96-97 1.9 AAZ engines. Even at $5-600, it'd be hard to justify. I can get it to limp along by feeding it with a low pressure fuel pump.

Reverse idler is a neat trick, eh? Who'da thunk using basically the same transmission from a 77 rabbit in a car that weighed 50% more and had twice the hp would be a bad idea ? Not VW

Komenda Fan 01-04-2008 01:50 PM

I had a Jetta once, a 1990, and while it was ok (forgetting for a moment that all the electrical accessories failed), I have read to many horror stories. I often wonder why they have such a great reputation in Europe. I know some of our cars come from Mexico, but even the German built cars, here in NA at least, have a reputation for shocking reliability. Shame, because I would love to make our next car an Audi, but with all the horror stories, I'm pretty sure the next car will be another Honda.

onewhippedpuppy 01-04-2008 01:52 PM

You should put it down, Office Space style. Sledge, sawzall, gasoline, etc. Have fun with it. Remember, even charred, beaten metal is worth something at the salvage yard.

notfarnow 01-04-2008 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy (Post 3683276)
You should put it down, Office Space style. Sledge, sawzall, gasoline, etc. Have fun with it. Remember, even charred, beaten metal is worth something at the salvage yard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moneyguy1 (Post 3683245)
Now that my wife is no longer with us, I have fond dreams about taking her cherished '94 Passat VR6 and having it crushed and displayed as a lawn ornament.

Both of those sound SOOOO cathartic. I really don't know what to do with the thing. It's worth a grand in parts if I part it out myself, $500 if I sell it to the local VW guys. I can get it to limp along with an electric fuel pump, and might be able to get 1500-2k for it like that. That would cover the cost of converting the Benz to vegetable oil, but I'd have to worry about Kharma and the buyer calling with troubles.

If I could get away with it, I'd park it down on the frozen river, open the windows and run a 25' length of good galvanized chain through it with a mooring ball on one end. Wait till spring thaw.

Seriously, I would. I'd smile everytime I tied my sailboat up to it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Komenda Fan (Post 3683271)
I had a Jetta once, a 1990, and while it was ok (forgetting for a moment that all the electrical accessories failed), I have read to many horror stories. I often wonder why they have such a great reputation in Europe. I know some of our cars come from Mexico, but even the German built cars, here in NA at least, have a reputation for shocking reliability. Shame, because I would love to make our next car an Audi, but with all the horror stories, I'm pretty sure the next car will be another Honda.

They have the Accord CTDi 2.2 in Europe. I'd trade a kidney for one.They aren't coming until '09, my car is busted NOW, and my time/space continuum modulator is on the fritz.


As for electrical gremlins, a friend's 05 Passat takes the cake. He started getting frantic calls from his wife, in the school parking lot with their 2 kids. Doors all locked, couldn't open them. The dealer would have to come out, then a locksmith to "break in". Happened 2-3 times, it'd take 40-60 minutes... calls would get more and more frantic with the wife and kids screaming and crying. Spend almost 2k on door locks, actuators and senders... kept happening.

Who needs that? I'll take a Kia, thanks. The one in white that's been sitting at Happy Harry's used car lot for 2 months. It was a rental car? Awesome.

Rick V 01-04-2008 03:26 PM

This is my type of thread. I hate VW's, I detest having to work on them, never has such a POS ever been built and sold................the entire line is crap, and I'm being kind. I defy you to find a mechanic who has been working on cars for over 5 years who likes them. If you do you have found someone who works in a shop without a drug testing policy.
I'm sorry for the pain you have recieved while you have owned the car, but it will be all better now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I feel much better now.

Porsche-O-Phile 01-04-2008 03:56 PM

I think sacrificing it by fire, preferably in front of a VW dealership would bring a smile to your face.

Post pics. Be safe. Keep a few extra fire extinguishers handy so the flames don't spread.

Komenda Fan 01-04-2008 04:03 PM

I asked a tow truck driver once what was the most common pick up, he didn't waste any time thinking, it was VW far and away. When I lived in Japan, I only saw tow trucks twice. Once towing a Passat, once towing an Audi A4. Coldstart tells me his buddy bought an Audi once, and sold it within two months out of frustration. Shame, 'cause I love the styling of those Audi's.

notfarnow 01-04-2008 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Komenda Fan (Post 3683579)
I asked a tow truck driver once what was the most common pick up, he didn't waste any time thinking, it was VW far and away. When I lived in Japan, I only saw tow trucks twice. Once towing a Passat, once towing an Audi A4. Coldstart tells me his buddy bought an Audi once, and sold it within two months out of frustration. Shame, 'cause I love the styling of those Audi's.

An Audi is just a VW with more blown fuses.

I actually missed a great opprtunity last year. We were dropping my mother's car off at the shop, I was following my wife. She pulled the Jetta over, ran back yelling "it's on fire it's on fire!"

I think she's exaggerating, run up and sure enough, flames licking out of the heater controls. I just pull the whole console out of the dash and unclip it.

Next day, I call the VW guys and tell them about it.

"Yah, that's common," they reply, "the heater fan switch melts if it's on high for too long. Usually they burn to the ground"

And there I was paying for comprehensive insurance.

My wife called me from her cell a couple months ago, all in a flap. Thought it was making the same sound. I told her to leave the fan on high with the car running, go in to the store and have a coffee. Pretend to be surprised when it lights up. She actually did.

Nothing happenned, it was just something rattling in the dash (another nice feature)


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